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valentine’s day

Keeping God First While Dating

Posted on February 15, 2019

Dating can be a pretty treacherous thing. Especially in today’s world.  There are so many men who seem so good, but end up being crazy, sex-crazed, or just plain weird. So what is a single Christian woman supposed to do? We must make sure to put God first. Seems simple right? But how can we make sure to put God first while dating?

Matthew 6:33 says, “But above all pursue His kingdom and righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” I want all those things given to me, so here are some tips to help you put God first while dating.

  1. Pray

There is no way you can do this on your own. Prayer strengthens, calms, and provides clarity. Pray for wisdom, discernment, and for more faith to trust God fully. Most importantly, pray for His will to be done and to be led by the Holy Spirit. In order to keep God first, you must talk to Him consistently. You should also spend time with Him and His word meditating and studying. Which, coincidentally, is the next tip. 

  1. Meditate and Study

There aren’t really any scriptures for dating in this technology-driven age. However, there are plenty of scriptures on trusting God, depending on God, and following the leading of the Holy Spirit. One that immediately comes to mind is Proverbs 3:5-7 which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.”

Study and meditate on these scriptures so that you will keep God first and won’t be led astray or distracted by someone who doesn’t belong in your future. Get them down in your heart and spirit so that you will be able to discern what’s from God. These types of scriptures will help you decide who to date in the first place.

  1. Pray with and for your date

Hopefully, you’re dating a Christian man who prays.  If he’s not a Christian, then why are you dating him sis? No, seriously, why are you dating him? You should only be dating men that are marriage potential, but that’s another post. As you can see, prayer is a key component in keeping God first while dating. Pray for him before and after your date. Pray that God reveals anything about him that may be a red flag. Pray that he is led by the Holy Spirit too.

Now, praying with him may be a bit awkward, especially if the relationship is new. But, if he prays on a regular basis, asking him to pray with you shouldn’t run him off. If it does, then do you really want that man anyway? If you want to ease into praying with him, ask him what he’s been praying about lately. That way, you can broach the topic without seeming too religious or spooky deep.

Now, I’m not telling you anything that I haven’t personally done. These are tips that I have learned to do the hard way. It’s so important that you keep God first in everything because He will be the foundation of a good marriage.

As I continue to date, I’m learning so much about myself and about how important it is for me to lean on God. I pray that you learn from my dating misadventures so you won’t have to repeat the same mistakes. Thanks for following me on this journey as a single Christian woman. Remember to be led by the Holy Spirit in all you do!

-Kim

 

Recommended Resource:

Pursue Righteousness

Related Topics:

Prayer

Called To Be Single

Temptation: A Bible Study

A Single Girl’s Guide to Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 8, 2019
valentine heart

So you’re single and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.  What are you going to do? How are you going to survive another Valentine’s Day being single? Are you going to pretend the day doesn’t exist? Will you stuff your face with food and hide out? You don’t have to do any of that. Here is a single girl’s guide to Valentine’s Day.

1. Date Yourself.

If you are confident and a little adventurous, put on that fancy dress and those heels and take yourself to that restaurant you’ve been dying to try.  Go see that movie that no one else will see with you. Get your nails and hair done. Look and feel as fabulous as you possibly can, then treat yourself to whatever makes you feel fancy.  Who says you have to wait on a man to take you on a date? You are already complete in Christ. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Girl, take yourself out. You deserve it.

2. Log Off of Social Media.

If  you are prone to feeling down or sad because you’re single around Valentine’s Day make sure you log off of social media.  Seeing those couples being lovey-dovey is one sure way to get you all in your feelings. So, just log off. You can log back on when all the Valentine’s Day posts and pictures die down. While you are off, spend some time doing something fulfilling. Read a book you’ve been wanting to read. Go exercise or talk to friends. Pray, meditate, and see what God wants you to do and what He wants to say to you. Take this time you usually spend on social media and just live your life. There is no reason you have to feel sad or lonely on Valentine’s Day.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself.

This goes hand in hand with number two. Looking at all those couples on Instagram or Facebook may have you thinking that you don’t measure up. Nothing is wrong with being single. Nor is it wrong to want companionship, but if you are looking at social media or people around you and pressuring yourself to get into a relationship then stop it. What usually happens when you compare yourself is that you either end up on the short end of the stick or you end up valuing yourself too highly. Neither of those are good for your soul or self-esteem. You must remember that you are enough within yourself.  You are doing this thing according to God‘s timing and it will work in your favor in the end. Your story will be beautiful too, even if it is taking a little longer than anticipated.

4. Go Out With Your Girls.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to get together with your girls and have a fun night out. This option is especially good for those who aren’t yet brave enough to go out alone. Take this time to catch up with some girlfriends you haven’t seen in a while.  Have dinner and see a movie. Go to a comedy club and just have plain good fun. You may just end up having more fun with your girls than you would with a valentine.

5. Do Not Go Out With Some Random Dude Just to Have a Valentine.

This is more of a don’t than a do, but it needs to be said all the same.  Dating a random is a bad idea because you probably don’t like him in the first place. Since you don’t like him, you probably won’t have a good time. As Christian singles we should really stick to dating quality men who we could possibly see a future with. Now I’m not saying you should evaluate men for marriage on the first date or even before the first date, but don’t go out with a random just to have a date on Valentine’s Day.  If a good man that meets your standards happens to ask you out, but all means go, but don’t let loneliness and desperation pressure you into dating a dusty, crusty, and lusty man.

6. Reflect on the Love You Already Have.

On Valentine’s Day we always default to the idea of romantic love or a lack thereof. In reality we are surrounded by an abundance of love. Reflect on the love of family, friends, or even children. Look at how loved and supported you have been just this year. Also reflect on the love that God has for you.  He has loved you and known you before you were even in your mother’s womb. Don’t forget to reflect on how much you love yourself. Look back on how far you’ve come. You’re pretty amazing. Remember who you are and how loved you truly are despite not having a man for Valentine’s Day.

7. Make a Plan for Companionship.

If you are tired of being alone on Valentine’s Day and you want this to be the last year that you do not have a valentine make a plan to not be single next Valentine’s Day. Evaluate your mindset. Do you have a mindset that would attract a quality man?  Who are you as a person? What are you attracted to? You may have to change your social habits. Maybe you need to make more female friends so that you can go out more. Pray that God reveals what’s really keeping you single. Once He reveals it to you make a strategic plan on how to overcome those obstacles so this can be the last year you’re single. Be sure to have realistic and measurable goals and ask for God’s help every step of the way. This could be the last Valentine’s day you spend without a man.

When it’s all said and done remember Valentine’s Day is just a day. You will get through this one like you have gotten through all the other ones. Valentine’s Day does not determine your self-worth or your value as a woman. The lack of romantic interest on Valentine’s Day does not diminish anything about you. You are still a strong, loving, and amazing woman. Keep pressing forward and remember to be led by the Holy Spirit in everything you do! Happy Valentine’s Day!