Online Dating

Is Online Dating wrong for Christians? Not necessarily. But, let me tell you my story.

Back in the summer of 2015 on the advice of some friends I joined an online dating site.
Before I joined I always said I don’t think I’m going to meet my husband online. I just never felt that way. I joined anyway.

I went on my first online date in the summer of 2015. Although I was super nervous, the date went well. He was a gentleman. He walked me to my car and pulled out my chair. After the date, we even continued to talk, but it eventually fizzled out.

After that, there were a series of guys I talked to online. Nothing really ever came from those interactions either. After talking to a guy and it not working out, I would always go back to feeling like I’m not even supposed to be online dating in the first place.

I felt like it was a distraction from what I was really supposed to be doing and a waste of time. Yet, I persisted. I wanted to give online dating a real shot because some of my friends met really good guys from online dating.

I mean really good Christian guys and some were even getting married to these men they met online.

Even though I persisted, I always had a little tugging in my spirit saying that this isn’t really for me. By this time it is late 2016. I tell myself that if I’m going to do this, I will try out a paid online dating site. So I take my profile down from the free site and pay real actual dollars to meet men online.

I met a few men, and I went on a date with 2 of them. The first one was bad.He basically said that all he wanted was sex. I said thanks for being honest but Nah.The next date I went on was the worst date of my life.

After that date, I decided to take a break. I took down every profile and sat myself down.Here are some lessons I learned from my experience of online dating:

Although online dating by itself is not sinful, it’s not for me.

1 Corinthians 10:23 says, “I have the right to do anything,” you say–but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”–but not everything is constructive.”

I could have been in a very different place in my life had I just listened to the Holy Spirit. There is no telling what my life would be like right now.

I’m not going to beat myself up about it though because Romans 8:1 says, “so now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.”

I’m not condemned for my mistakes. I’m forgiven and through God’s mercy and grace, I have another chance to do it right.
I learned to listen to and follow the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:16 says, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.”
Had I been following the direction of the Holy Spirit I would have saved myself some time, money, and headache.

Ultimately what I want is for God to be glorified in my waiting, dating, and marriage.
1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

I have to make sure that all of my decisions and actions give God the glory. That definitely wasn’t happening when I was online dating. My motive was to find a husband, not to glorify God.

So is online dating wrong?

Not necessarily. But for me, it is, at least for right now. As I said before, I’m deciding to be more open to whatever God has for me and if He tells me to go online then that’s what I’ll do.The most important thing is to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit and make sure God is getting the glory out of everything.

Online dating may not be wrong for you. But don’t try to match anyone else’s story. God has written a unique and amazing story for each and every one of us. They all don’t have to be the same.

Some may meet their husband or wife online, some may meet them at Walmart. Just follow God. He’ll tell you what’s right or wrong.

Our Father,

God, I come to You asking that I allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me into all truth. I ask that the desires of my heart match Your will for me. Let me not be distracted. Let every decision I make and every action I take be for Your glory. Thank You, God, for forgiveness. Help me to not relive old mistakes, but keep pressing forward in You.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Check out my latest podcast episode: Is Online Dating Wrong?