Healing From A Broken Heart

I know the pain of a broken heart. The despair, the brokenness, and feelings of helplessness and loneliness. I’ve cried those same tears. I’ve felt there was no one to turn to; no one who could understand what I felt. I’m here to encourage you. You’re not alone. There is an after-this. There is hope. You can heal from a broken heart.

Healing from a broken heart requires you to first process the pain. Processing the pain looks different for everyone. Some people cry, others shout, and some go to therapy. In my case, it was all three combined. Whatever you do, don’t hold it in. Someone or something broke your heart and it hurts. It’s OK to hurt, just don’t suffer in silence. Don’t allow your feelings to control you. Let the pain out. Psalm 34:17 says, “The Lord hears His people when they call to Him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.” The Lord hears you when you cry out, so cry out. No one can hear what you keep hidden inside. Once you cry out to Him, he will hear you and rescue you from your troubles.

Once you’ve processed the pain and cried out, stop replaying the hurt over and over in your mind. Stop thinking about all the ways you could have avoided it, or things you should have done. It won’t ease the hurt. It only makes things worse because you keep reliving the pain. I know it’s going to be hard, but try not to think about it. You have to let it go. Let it go by keeping your mind fixed on God. Isaiah 26:3 says, “God will keep you in perfect peace when you fix your thoughts on Him.” You can keep your thoughts fixed on Him by thinking about what is true, honorable, right, pure, excellent, and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8). If you find yourself thinking about the hurt, stop and redirect your thoughts to God and more pleasurable things. In time you will find that you are in His perfect peace and on your way to having a healed heart.

In that peaceful place, you’ll find it easier to forgive. You will be fully healed when you forgive one who hurt you. Why should you forgive someone who hurt you so deeply? Why should you forgive someone who knew you, loved you, and still hurt you? Why should you forgive someone who doesn’t even deserve forgiveness? It doesn’t seem fair. Believe me,  I struggled with this the most. It seems like someone should pay for the pain they inflicted. Someone should hurt, just like you are hurting. The thing is though, it’s never quite satisfying to hurt someone else just because you’re hurt. It doesn’t erase your pain. You may feel vindicated, but what does that feeling do? It just adds more hurt to the world.

In order to forgive, you have to do so from a place of compassion and mercy. Forgiveness cannot be done in your own strength. You have to rely on God to give you the grace to forgive. Why does God continually forgive us when we constantly hurt Him? When we intentionally disobey Him? He forgives us because He is full of grace and mercy and expects us to extend that same grace and mercy to others. Colossians 3:13 says, “make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” We are commanded to forgive as we’ve been forgiven. In order to forgive, I had to remember that God forgave me when I didn’t deserve it and He did the same for you. Consider how God has forgiven you. Think about all that you have done and how much mercy God has shown you. Ask the Holy Spirit into your heart so that you can rely on Him for the mercy and compassion needed to forgive someone. Forgiveness will lead to healing. Healing and wholeness are God’s desires for you. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”

Healing is a process and there is no timeframe for it. It may take some people a week and take others years. Although dealing with and healing from pain isn’t easy, you will survive. I did, as have so many others. You are still living and breathing and making it through. You may have been knocked down, but you were not destroyed. There is a joy that is coming that you cannot believe. Not only will you survive, you will be happy, whole, and completely healed. You will love again and it will be all that God has promised. He hasn’t failed you yet and He never will.

Heavenly Father,

You are a healer. I pray that you come into my heart and heal every wound and every broken thing. You are close to the brokenhearted. You rescue those whose spirits are crushed (Psalm 34:18). I am in need of rescue Lord. I cry out to You Lord. I’m looking to You for help so that I may be radiant with joy (Psalm 34:5). Help me to remember all that You have done for me, all the mercy you have so graciously bestowed upon me. Give me the compassion and mercy I need to forgive. Help me to forgive the person and not judge their actions. Help me to keep my mind fixed on you and stay in your perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3).

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NLT)

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.