Category:

Prayer

Settling

Posted on May 19, 2018

Single people in Christ are often told to not settle for less. We are told to accept nothing less than God’s best for our lives. Be it a potential partner or a career opportunity, how do we know what God’s best is for us? How can we make certain that we aren’t settling?

Everything we need is in God’s presence. In His presence, we will find victory, provision, protection, and discernment. Once we start to spend more and more time with God we get to know Him and He will reveal things to us. He will show us how to proceed with whatever opportunity presents itself. He will show us who is sent from Him and who is sent from the enemy.

Spending time with God requires intentionality. It also requires more than just going to church. Going to church is great, but how well can we know someone we only spend two hours with per week? How can we get to know God if the only time we spend with Him is on Sunday morning? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing anyone who does this, but like all things, in life, we get out what we put in.

We must honestly assess what we’re putting into our relationship with God. Are we sincere and genuine with Him? Are we really submitting ourselves to Him like we should? As we grow closer to God there is no way we could settle for anything less than His best. He will show us what He has for us. He will also give us the power and strength to work towards His promises until they manifest.

Spending time with God adjusts our expectations. We will begin to see the world and people through Him. We will start to put on the mind and attitude of Christ. Jesus’ purpose on Earth was to glorify the Father by obeying God. That should be our mindset as well. We have to make sure that we are doing what God told us to do and the rest will come.

We have to be faithful and dedicated to fulfilling the reason we’re put on the Earth. We all have a purpose. Abiding in God and spending time with Him will lead you to your purpose. As we start seeing things from God’s perspective our expectations will shift. We may go from having a list of 100+ things for a potential spouse to 10 things because we’re now looking for things that are more spiritual than physical.

We need standards and guidelines for dating and/or courting. God gives us those standards in the bible. He will provide what we need when we need it. I truly believe that when we dwell in His presence, obey, trust, and wait on Him, we will get our every heart’s desire. We have to hold tight to Him and His promises. We must not get weary for we will reap if we faint not. (Galatians 6:9)

This journey isn’t easy. If it was, the whole world would be following Christ. We have to remember who we are. We have to remember that we are royalty and co-heirs with Christ. We will have to say no sometimes. We will have to watch others get what we desire, all because we refuse to settle for less than God’s best. It may get painful or lonely at times, but I know it’s worth it. God will comfort and keep us. I know that whatever God has promised will come to pass.

Don’t give up. Serving God has its rewards. Keep sowing seeds of goodness and kindness. Keep spending time with Him and asking what His will is for your life. Be intentional. Take it one day at a time. Keep striving to be the better person God has called us to be. When we’re in Him and know what He has for us, the only way we settle is if we give up and stop believing what He has for us will come. Keep fighting. Keep working. Know that we’re all in this together and we’re fighting right beside one another.

Encourage one another along this Christian journey. Pray for each other. If you see a fellow sister or brother struggling, reach out and build them up; say an encouraging word. Remind everyone and yourself to remain faithful and to take God at His word. It’s hard not to settle for what’s in right front of us. Remember your purpose and keep God’s standards in the forefront of your mind. Ask God for wisdom. He will give it to us. He has a plan for us. He has the plan to prosper and not harm us. He has the plan to give us a future and hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Keep going and don’t settle. It’ll be worth it.

 

Our Father,

Thank You, God, for helping us put on the mind of Christ. Help us to live for You and put You first. We know that by putting You first, everything else will be given to us. We ask You for wisdom, instruction, and understanding God. We also ask for an extra measure of patience and faith. Help us to not lose hope. You told us not to worry about tomorrow, God. Let us find the strength in You to just trust You and not worry. Thank You, God, for revealing Your truth to us. Help us to wait on You and not settle for less than Your best.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Matthew 6:31-34 (NIV)

31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 

Check out the latest podcast episode: Are you settling?

 

To Approach or To Not Approach?

Posted on April 27, 2018

We all know that faith without works is dead. So when it comes to entering a relationship, how much work are we as Christian women supposed to put in? Should we approach men? There are two schools of thought on the subject. Some people say it’s the man’s role to initiate and the woman’s role to respond. Others say that there’s nothing wrong with a woman initiating conversation or even asking a man on a date.

The problem with the former is that single Christian women are often frustrated with men that never initiate. Several of my girlfriends and I find it frustrating to have a man basically stare you down but never approach. The problem with the latter school of thought is that women should not pursue men. But is it really pursuing a man by initiating contact? It can get tricky.

There are all kinds of statistics and studies on why women should approach men but we are called to live by a different standard. What does God have to say about it? Is it sinful for a Christian woman to approach a Christian man?

The New Testament doesn’t really offer much in the way of dating advice. There is, of course, Ephesians 5 which encourages husbands and wives to submit to each other and sets out God’s design for leadership. The husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23). God wants the man to be the leader, but this verse speaks specifically to husbands and wives. What about single women? Are we supposed to let men lead in the dating world too?

The Old Testament does have some courting and marriage stories. The two that stuck out to me was Rebekah and Ruth. Rebekah’s story begins with Abraham wanting a wife for his son Isaac. Abraham sent his servant to find a wife and while the servant was traveling he asked God for a sign. He asked God that the woman to be Isaac’s wife offer him water and offer to water his camels.

This is significant because the servant had 10 camels with him and thirsty camels can drink up to 25 gallons of water. When the servant came to the well he asked Rebekah for some water. She said yes and offered to water his camels too. Rebekah didn’t initiate contact but she was kind and showed her true servant’s heart. Although the was very beautiful, it was her heart that ultimately won over the servant.

Ruth’s story begins with her being a widow and going back to Naomi’s, her mother-in-law, hometown. Because they had no male relative to take care of them, they were practically destitute. Ruth gleaned from the fields of Boaz so that she could eat. Boaz saw how hard she was working and. Told the men in the field to leave her alone. It is discovered that Boaz is their kinsman-redeemer so Naomi urged Ruth to dress up and go lay on the threshing floor with Boaz. Though this seems like Ruth is approaching Boaz for marriage, what she was really doing was asking for protection from poverty, which was Boaz’s responsibility. Her request just so happened to result in marriage.

So what now? Should Christian women initiate contact or not? I think the number one thing to do, in all circumstances, is to be led by the Holy Spirit and glorify God in everything you do. What we learn from Rebekah and Ruth is to be loyal, faithful, and kind-hearted. Those characteristics ultimately got them married. We also learn that their intentions were pure. Their interactions with the men weren’t for the purpose of starting a relationship.

There is nothing sinful with initiating contact by saying hello or smiling at a potential mate. Letting someone know through a wave or kind word that you’re open for conversation is perfectly fine. I personally would never ask a man out because I feel that blurs the line of pursuit. I don’t want to be in the position to continually have to initiate every date or contact. I think the man should show some leadership skills if we are dating with the purpose of marriage in mind.

Rebekah and Ruth didn’t do anything extraordinary to meet their husbands. They were out living their lives and doing what they probably did every day. Rachel was getting water from the well. Ruth was getting some food to eat. Their loyalty, generosity, and hard work led to their marriages. The men noticed something different about them through their everyday actions.

If you desire marriage, get serious about doing our Father’s business. Figure out the purpose He’s placed on your life and get busy. While you’re out serving or just in the regular course of your day, there’s no telling who you’ll meet. Arrange a group dinner with men and women. Be deliberate about who you invite. Strike up conversations about everything. Get some good eye contact in. Be open, be kind, and follow God. He’s sure to give you the desires of your heart.

 

Our Father,

I pray Your will be done in my life. Thank You for allowing me to serve You. I consider it a privilege and an honor. I trust You, God. I believe that Your promises are yes and amen. I believe that Your faithful promises are my armor and protection. Help me to give You all of my cares, worries, and frustrations. Help me to wait on and trust in You, Lord. I pray that my husband seeks You and is led by You. I pray that my husband exhibits leadership qualities and surrenders his will to Yours. Thank You for already arranging the day we will meet. Help us to live a life pleasing to You. Help us to live according to Your commands. Let our meeting, courtship, and marriage glorify You, God.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

 

Watch the latest podcast episode: Approachable

Prayer

Posted on April 13, 2018

Prayer is an essential part of our relationship with God. Sometimes, for whatever reason, it’s hard to pray. I struggle with this more often than I’d like to admit. The natural question is how do we overcome that? How can we, despite our mood and environment, still talk to God?

I think one thing we should do is remove some misconceptions about prayer. Prayer is just talking to God. It’s just another way we communicate with God. I used to think prayer had to be done in a certain way and in a specific environment to be a “real prayer.” That’s just not true.

Prayer can be done in private or in public. Prayers can be said silently or aloud. Prayers can be said with your eyes open or closed, kneeling, standing, or walking. There is no way that is better than another. The most important thing is making sure your heart is in the right position.  We must be confident in the things we pray about. 1 John 5:24 says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” We have to approach prayer knowing that He hears us and will answer. 

We must also make sure that we are praying with pure motives. We can’t be out to manipulate God into doing what we want Him to do. We have to seek His will above our own. I know this is tough. We all want what we want.  But we must endeavor to crucify our flesh. James 4:3 says, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” That’s why it’s so important, no matter how you pray, that your heart and mind are focused on God’s will. 

Okay, so what happens when your heart is for God and you still find it difficult to pray? Keep in mind that there is no length requirement for prayer. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “…constantly pray.” Which means you can pray to God throughout the day. There’s no right or wrong time to pray.  Pray whenever you get a chance for however long you feel you need to pray.

Paul wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6–7) So we can pray about everything that concerns us. We should pray in every situation. God cares for us, we just need to talk to Him about what’s going on. Ask Him for help with everything.

If you’re still feeling a little stuck, send up a prayer of adoration. Just praise God for who He is. Or confess to God about some of the things you’ve done and agree with Him that you need forgiveness. You could pray a prayer of thanksgiving. Give thanks to God for what He’s done, what He’s doing, and what He’s going to do. You could also talk to God and tell Him what’s concerning you and then cast your cares on Him. You can do a combination of these or all of these, just as long as you’re talking to God from your heart.

Listen to some of your favorite worship music. You know the songs I’m talking about, the ones that always take you to the throne. When we worship God prayer usually flows naturally from there. You can also look back at your life and see how far God has brought you. When I do this I usually end up in a prayer thanking and praising God. Looking back allows you to see how good God really is and can be motivation to pray.

If you’re going through something, look up bible verses dealing with that subject and speak them back to God. For example, if I’m feeling lonely or confused or having a moment of doubt, I just look up verses about love, wisdom, or faith and speak those verses back to God over and over until I receive them in my heart.

I often use the Lord’s prayer sort of as jumping off point. This is a prayer that Jesus taught His disciples in Matthew 6:9-13. I like to say it because each part reminds me of my relationship with God and it makes it easier to communicate with Him.

Our Father in heaven: This reminds me that I have a close parent/child relationship with God. I can call Him Father. He is that close to me. And not only is He my Father, He’s our Father. Which means I’m not only in relationship with Him, but I have brothers and sisters in Christ all around the world that I’m in a relationship with as well. He’s our Father.

Hallowed be thy name: To hallow something means to honor it as holy, it means to revere and respect it. This reminds me of who God is and how I should treat Him. He is holy and I revere Him.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven: This reminds me to crucify my flesh with its selfish desires and pray for God’s will to be done. I want that same will that is happening in heaven to happen right here on earth.

Give us our daily bread: This reminds me that God’s mercy is new every day and that I also have to seek him daily for what I need and that I have to pray without ceasing.

Forgive Us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us: I have to ask for forgiveness for every sin and forgive others just like God forgave me. I have to be as forgiving as God is toward me. I have to show the same compassion and mercy towards others that God gives me daily.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil: This is a plea for protection from every trap, trial, and temptation set up by the enemy of our souls. God will never tempt us, this is a cry to God to help us not give in, to help us avoid sin. This helps me to remember where my victory comes from and how He will protect me.

I don’t want to over-complicate prayer. At the end of the day, prayer is just communication between us and God. It’s a way to get peace, it’s a way to stop worrying. Prayer helps us discern God’s will and defeat whatever the enemy is throwing at us. The effectual and fervent prayers of the righteous accomplish much (James 5:16). There’s no wrong or right way to pray. The purpose of the prayer is what matters.

Our Father,

Thank You for ripping the veil and allowing us access to Your throne. Thank You, God, for the ability to come to you with all of our cares and worries and cast them on You. Help our hearts to have the right motives when we approach You. Let nothing distract us from talking to our Creator. Free us from any misconceptions of prayer so that we can come to You in prayer as often as we need to. Help us to trust that our prayers will be answered. Help us to seek Your will above our own in every situation.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Check out the latest podcast episode: Essentials of Prayer