Category:

Prayer

Journaling

Wildest Dreams

Posted on December 21, 2019

As we approach the new year, I often take time to plan ahead for the new one. This time I want to take a slightly different approach. God can do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think according to the power that works within us. So, instead of the same old new year’s resolutions, let’s resolve to go after our wildest dreams.

Wild Dreams

What are those dreams that you just can’t seem to shake? The big, bold, and grand dreams that you know God placed in your heart. Why not ask Him for those dreams? Hashtag goals can be a reality. I believe 2020 is the year that God-given dreams and gifts must manifest. It’s time y’all. So I’ll ask again, what’s your wildest dream?

Last year, a group of friends and I sat around discussing our plans for 2019. We spoke them with conviction and we put some work behind our faith. I didn’t only ask for tangible things, I also asked to be in a better position to serve Him.

In 2019 we saw God manifest what we spoke out loud and more. So, that got me to thinking. What if I was bold in my declarations for 2020? If God did all that for me in 2019, what more would He do if I asked for what I really wanted? How much would my life and the lives of others change if I followed that wild (and crazy) dream God gave me?

2020 Journal

For 2020, I’m declaring that I serve a God who cannot and has not failed. I declare that I have put forth the work and effort necessary for God’s promises to manifest in my life. God will abundantly exceed my wildest dreams in 2020. I believe He will do it for me and you. I created a journal to help me let go of limiting thoughts. This journal has scriptures and prompts to help get the creative juices flowing.

Take some time to write out your wildest dreams in the journal. I’m talking about that dream that’s a little (or a lot) scary to even mention aloud. Write those things that you really want. Then believe that God will move on your behalf. Stand in the confident expectation that God will do more than you can ask or think. Pray over that list, make sure you’re keeping God first, and then move!

What a Mighty God We Serve

God is already moving. He has already moved in a mighty way in my life with my wildest dreams list. We serve an active and living God. He doesn’t have to wait until 2020 to do it. It can happen now! What an amazing feeling to know that God loves and hears us. I pray that you have a prosperous and happy new year! May God continue to bless you beyond belief.

Get the journal here

Thanks for joining me on this journey through singleness,

Kim

Bible Study

God’s Truth

Posted on December 7, 2019

What do I believe? Is it God’s truth or what I want to believe? It’s time to get back to the truth. The truth is found in God’s word and to follow it I must know it. In an effort to become more transparent and honest with myself and God, I decided to really look at what I believed. Where did the belief originate? Is it the truth? Am I correctly perceiving and understanding God?


Brittany Broaddus, a guest on The Love Hour podcast, stated there are 3 principles that often get confused when discussing theology and things of God;

  • Biblical Mandate
  • Convictions
  • Preference


I decided to research this further. I want to be absolutely sure that I’m sharing the truth.

Biblical Mandate


A biblical mandate is universally applicable. This is what God says about the issue and we all, as believers, have to follow it. The bible is the divinely inspired word of God. What God says goes. For example: Drinking alcohol. There isn’t a biblical mandate that makes drinking alcohol a sin. However, there are people who preach against drinking alcohol, as if it’s a sin. Here’s how confusion enters and why it’s so important to know God’s word for yourself.


Over the course of the years, many well-intentioned people have misquoted, taken out of context, misapplied, or plain just misused scripture. It is very important when reading and studying the bible to ask some very basic questions.

  • Who is God talking to?
  • What is happening at this time in history in the bible?
  • What is the context of the verse?
  • Why is God saying this at this time?


We must study to show ourselves approved as workers who can rightly divide the truth. Are we accurately quoting scripture? Does God say that or did someone we love and admire say that? We have to get back to God’s word. We have to get back to the truth.

Conviction


Convictions are caused by the living Holy Spirit that dwells inside of us. As Christians, once we confess with our mouths and believe with our hearts, we receive salvation and the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit leads, guides, comforts, and convicts. Conviction is something the Holy Spirit leads us not to do because it’s not for us. Let’s look at drinking alcohol again.

There is no biblical mandate against drinking. There are, however, biblical mandates calling believers to be sober-minded and to not be drunk. This is where conviction comes in. Because God knows us, He may tell some people not to drink or the Holy Spirit will convict us if we partake in too much alcohol. But, the Holy Spirit may not lead others that way.

Whose Voice?

Conviction by the Holy Spirit is great. It will lead us in the right direction. We must be careful however to distinguish between conviction and condemnation. The enemy condemns and the Holy Spirit convicts. Conviction is a gentle push to do what you know is right. Condemnation is a heavy feeling of guilt or shame for doing what you know is wrong. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.


Also, make sure the conviction we’re feeling is from the Holy Spirit and not the voice of anyone else whispering their convictions in our ear. I have been guilty of this. I used to follow a teacher that said as Christians we were so holy we couldn’t do anything in this world, like go to the movies. Going to the movies convicted me! Seems silly now, but that used to make me feel so bad. There is no biblical mandate against enjoying a movie. The Holy Spirit may convict me about the type of movie I watch, but I was needlessly misguided based on another’s personal conviction or misinterpretation of scripture. Another reason to be grounded in God’s truth.

Preferences

Lastly, there are personal preferences. While these can be guided by biblical mandates or convictions, they are usually what a person wants. Take the example of drinking alcohol. There isn’t a biblical mandate against it and I don’t personally feel convicted by drinking, but I prefer to drink wine over hard liquor. Preferences can be based on anything or nothing. So, when following a certain teacher or speaking on things of God, we must be vigilant and make sure that it’s based on Biblical truth.


Ultimately, the best thing to do is to test the spirit by the spirit. Spend time with God so that we know His voice. That includes me. I try my best to know His word and His truth, but it’s not always easy. Especially if we are listening to someone we know, love, and trust. So, I apologize if I ever passed off a conviction or preference as a scriptural mandate from God. From now on, I will try my best to operate in truth. I will take more time to study and hear from God.


Thanks for joining me on my journey through singleness!
Until next time,
Kim

Recommended Resources: www.theintimacyfirm.com

Suggested Reading: Dating Lessons

The Battle

Posted on November 26, 2019
falling short

I’m battling God and I’m tired. I’m running away from the calling God placed on my life. I’m battling to keep what I need to let go. I fought for so long to have my way and now I’m exhausted. The battle cost me peace, happiness, the ability to love without condition, and patience. Why am I fighting with God? Because I am afraid.

Terrified

I’m terrified I’m not worth more than what I have right now. What if this is all there is and God doesn’t do what He promised? What if He takes longer than I’m willing to wait. Am I willing to forsake the future God showed me, for now? If I continue to keep what He told me to let go, will I ever get to what God has for me?

Even if I embrace God’s path for me, will I get to it? Am I even worthy enough to do His work? It gets hard and lonely as the super saved girl. What if I just don’t have what it takes? I declare every day that I am confident in God and His word. But, how do I trust when it seems like I’m waiting in vain? This I know for sure, every time I fully surrendered and trusted Him fully, He blew my mind.

Surrender

So, how do I get back to that place? That place where I let go and let God. How do I get to the fully surrendered, prostrate before the Lord, just me and Him place? I used to be there. I heard His voice clearly and followed it. My selfish desires get the best of me. I got distracted, confused, and lost. I fell all the way down. How did I get here?

I know the scriptures, I know the pitfalls to avoid. Or, at least I thought I did. Now I’m unstable. I’m fighting and screaming just to get back, but He seems so far away. That’s when I fell to my knees and gave up the fight. God, I cannot live this way. You called me to be holy and set apart. The righteous fall seven times and get back up. I need to get up. I have sinned and fallen short of the glorious standard of Christ but there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ.

Victory at Last

I’m in Christ. He has taken on every sin. He paid the penalty for each fall. Lord, help me get to a place where I abhor sin. Where I crucify my flesh with its lust and desires for this world, and pick up my cross and follow You. Help me to be grateful for today and not worry about tomorrow or what’s to come. Let me do what I can do today.

I have to make sure I’m hearing God’s voice above it all. God’s voice is in His word. I surrender God, I surrender all. I’m tired of trying it my own way. I fully accept the calling, gifts, and talents you have placed in my life. You win God. Funny thing is, I finally feel victorious. Now, I’m ready to walk the path to redemption.


Online Dating

Online Dating: Why I Went Back

Posted on April 26, 2019


I went back to online dating simply because I wanted to date and it’s the easiest way to meet new people. The real question is why did I stop in the first place?

Broken

To answer that question let’s go all the way back to 2012. I was fresh out of a five-year relationship. I was broken-hearted and crushed. I was too through with men and knew I needed time to heal. So, I intentionally took a three-year break from dating. During those three years, I got to know myself and found God for real. He restored me. Then in 2015, I figured I was ready to get back out into the dating world. So, I joined Plenty of Fish (POF).

Exhausted

During the year of 2015, I dated a lot. I went out with everybody who asked. I had no idea how to date. I was talking to about 7 men at once.  I was constantly texting, going out on dates, and talking on the phone with men. It was popping, but I wasn’t having fun. I couldn’t build anything of substance because there were just too many men. I got tired of surface-level conversations. But what else could there be? I literally had no time to interact with any of them on a deeper level.

I quit dating out of pure frustration and exhaustion. I needed a break to rest. I was so tired. During my rest period, I figured that this wasn’t the right way to date. So, I tightened my dating criteria and decided to get back out there.

Restricted

2016 was the year of three bad dates. I refused to go out with just anyone. I was trying to be smart about dating. I wanted marriage and my past method wouldn’t work. So, I wrote a list of 70+ things that I required for a man to have to date me. Problem is that man doesn’t exist. I put so much pressure on myself to find the perfect man, I developed anxiety. The last date I went on that year was horrible. It was so bad I quit dating for almost 2 years. I gave up hope.

Lonely

In 2017 I went on no dates. I was lonely, frustrated, and confused. I thought dating would help bring me out of a slump. Crazy right? So, I joined POF again.  Of course, I only met some rusty, crusty, dusty dudes. I thought maybe my filters weren’t good enough. I reset them and now it was only old men. I didn’t go out with anyone this time. I was done for real this time. I even wrote a long post about how I was done with online dating. But God had other plans.

In 2018 my word for the year was whole, as in becoming a whole person. I took the time to make sure I was really whole and healed. I still had no plans to date though. I was finally happy and whole. Then, in late 2018, God told me He wanted me to write about dating. How could I do that if I was sitting at home alone all the time?

No More Breaks

In late 2018, I joined multiple datings sites, started dating, and haven’t looked back. There won’t be any more breaks from dating. I don’t put so much pressure on myself to meet my husband anymore. It will happen in God’s timing and I’m okay with that. I decided this time would be fun and it has been. Dating multiple men at once is still how I choose to date. I know this doesn’t work for everyone, but I love it. I’ve learned my limit is two men at once. Being open and honest up front is the key. I’m going to keep dating and having fun until I meet my husband.

The Difference

Here’s the difference between all my other dating experiences and now; I am in control this time. All of those other times, I let the men dictate and control. I stopped doing what I wanted to accommodate them. Looking back, I thought this was the way to keep a man. Now, I feel this dating path is God-ordained. I know this dating period will result in marriage.

Anxiety and nerves used to take over on dates. Having fun and flirting was so far from my mind. I was so focused on finding my husband, I treated men as objects. Now, I date on my terms. My anxiety has dissipated. Dating can be fun and holy. While I dated multiple men, there’s been no kissing, no hugging, and barely any hand-holding. Full transparency though, I’m only dating one man now and we hug, hold hands, and have the occasional kiss. It’s still on my terms and we still keep it holy.

What Now?

I’m not sure what the future holds, but I am learning to trust God and enjoy the process. Online dating isn’t for everybody. God had to change my mindset before it worked for me. I had to let go of a lot of old ideas and be sure of what I wanted before I could date. I pray God gives you that same freedom whether you date online or meet men in real life. I pray you don’t give up as easily as I did either. The journey can be just as rewarding as the destination. As always, thanks for joining me on my journey of singleness. Be sure to be let the Holy Spirit guide you in everything you do!

-Kim

P.S. I only started dating one guy two weeks ago. He’s the same guy that wants to be exclusive. He keeps asking to meet my support system and I kept stalling. I finally invited him to church because that’s the easiest way to meet everyone. I’ll keep you all posted.

Keeping God First While Dating

Posted on February 15, 2019

Dating can be a pretty treacherous thing. Especially in today’s world.  There are so many men who seem so good, but end up being crazy, sex-crazed, or just plain weird. So what is a single Christian woman supposed to do? We must make sure to put God first. Seems simple right? But how can we make sure to put God first while dating?

Matthew 6:33 says, “But above all pursue His kingdom and righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.” I want all those things given to me, so here are some tips to help you put God first while dating.

  1. Pray

There is no way you can do this on your own. Prayer strengthens, calms, and provides clarity. Pray for wisdom, discernment, and for more faith to trust God fully. Most importantly, pray for His will to be done and to be led by the Holy Spirit. In order to keep God first, you must talk to Him consistently. You should also spend time with Him and His word meditating and studying. Which, coincidentally, is the next tip. 

  1. Meditate and Study

There aren’t really any scriptures for dating in this technology-driven age. However, there are plenty of scriptures on trusting God, depending on God, and following the leading of the Holy Spirit. One that immediately comes to mind is Proverbs 3:5-7 which says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.”

Study and meditate on these scriptures so that you will keep God first and won’t be led astray or distracted by someone who doesn’t belong in your future. Get them down in your heart and spirit so that you will be able to discern what’s from God. These types of scriptures will help you decide who to date in the first place.

  1. Pray with and for your date

Hopefully, you’re dating a Christian man who prays.  If he’s not a Christian, then why are you dating him sis? No, seriously, why are you dating him? You should only be dating men that are marriage potential, but that’s another post. As you can see, prayer is a key component in keeping God first while dating. Pray for him before and after your date. Pray that God reveals anything about him that may be a red flag. Pray that he is led by the Holy Spirit too.

Now, praying with him may be a bit awkward, especially if the relationship is new. But, if he prays on a regular basis, asking him to pray with you shouldn’t run him off. If it does, then do you really want that man anyway? If you want to ease into praying with him, ask him what he’s been praying about lately. That way, you can broach the topic without seeming too religious or spooky deep.

Now, I’m not telling you anything that I haven’t personally done. These are tips that I have learned to do the hard way. It’s so important that you keep God first in everything because He will be the foundation of a good marriage.

As I continue to date, I’m learning so much about myself and about how important it is for me to lean on God. I pray that you learn from my dating misadventures so you won’t have to repeat the same mistakes. Thanks for following me on this journey as a single Christian woman. Remember to be led by the Holy Spirit in all you do!

-Kim

 

Recommended Resource:

Pursue Righteousness

Related Topics:

Prayer

Called To Be Single

Temptation: A Bible Study

Temptation: A Bible Study

Posted on February 1, 2019

As I re-enter the dating world and embark on this sort of new adventure, I want to have the right mindset. I want to make sure that I’m putting on the mind of Christ and keeping God first. So I decided to do a bible study. And what better place to start than with the life and works of Jesus in Matthew?

As I read and studied my way through the book of Matthew, the first 11 verses of chapter 4 captured me. These verses deal with the temptation of Jesus in the wilderness. Since I was so struck by these verses, I want to share what I have learned.

Jesus Is Tested in the Wilderness

Matthew 4:1 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

  1. We can be in the will of God and be led by the Holy Spirit and still end up in the wilderness facing temptation.
  2. It seems like in the will of God, this shouldn’t happen. Why would He lead me into the wilderness to be tempted? Because it’s a test.
  3. God doesn’t tempt, He tests us. The enemy is the one who tempts.
  4. God knew all along what was going to happen.
  5. What is temptation?
    1. Enticement to sin
    2. Sinful thoughts
    3. Troubles
    4. Afflictions
    5. Rebellious spirits

There’s a Way Out

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

  1. The temptation you are facing has been faced by others (common to mankind)
  2. God is faithful
    1. Trustworthy
    2. Reliable
    3. Deliverer of promises
  3. Promise: He will not let you be tried beyond what you can bear
    1. He will not give up on you or leave you alone
    2. He will not give you more than you can handle (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually)
  4. 2nd Promise: But with the trial will also provide a way out
    1. God will make, produce, cause, or prepare a way of escape, an end to the trial/temptation.
  5. So that you may be able to endure it
    1. He will place you on His shoulders and support you so that you can endure the adversity.

Let’s Go Back to Jesus’ Example on How to Find the Way Out

Matthew 4:2 -3 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

  1. He was tempted where He was weak. He was hungry and he was tempted with food.
  2. The temptation was for a need. He was legitimately hungry, but the devil wanted to Him to fill his legitimate need in an illegitimate way.
  3. Example in the dating world: you have a legitimate need for companionship because God didn’t create us to be alone. However, the temptation comes in because we try to meet that legitimate need in illegitimate ways like fornication or seriously dating people that we know doesn’t give God glory.

Matthew 4:4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ”

  1. Jesus didn’t rely on His own strength to face the temptation, He relied on the Word of God. That’s how He remained victorious over sin.

The Tempter Keeps Coming

Matthew 4:5-7 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple.“If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’ ” Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ ”

  1. The enemy tried different tactics to get Jesus to slip up. Jesus remained steadfast and only answered with the truth of God.
  2. This also shows how important it is to know the Word of God for yourself. How can we competently and effectively defeat the enemy if he knows more of God’s Word than we do? Which is why Bible study is so important.

Matthew 4:8 -11 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” 1Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’ “1Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

  1. Here, the devil showed Jesus something God had already given him; all power. Jesus already knew His purpose and what He had in God. We must know what God has already given us and put inside us in order to escape temptation.
  2. Again, the enemy is trying to get Jesus to obtain God’s promises in an illegitimate way.
  3. Jesus conquered temptation and was ready to pursue the purpose God has set before Him.

Major Takeaways

The major takeaways for me are that even in God’s good and perfect will, I’ll face temptation. But I don’t have to worry because there is no temptation that others haven’t faced, including Jesus. I can defeat every trial and temptation thrown at me by relying on God’s strength and truth and not my own strength. The temptation isn’t a one-time thing. It’s the enemy’s job to keep coming at me. However, God is faithful, he won’t let me endure more than I can bear.

What are some of your takeaways? Let me know in the comments and remember to be led by the Holy Spirit in all you do!

Birth of Single In Christ

Posted on September 28, 2018

My 33rd birthday was three days ago and every year when my birthday rolls around I take some time to reflect on the past year.  I thought my life would look so different by now.

10 years ago when I was 23, I thought the next decade would see a great marriage,  beautiful home, and nice cars. What I didn’t take into account was God‘s plan for my life. I didn’t know He had Single In Christ in store for me.

I started Single In Christ about one year ago because God put a burden and passion in my heart for single people. I feel like single people need encouragement from someone who is currently single.

I understand the appeal of seeking advice from married people. They are where we want to be. While I thank God for our married brothers and sisters, sometimes they are just a little too far removed from single life.  Or they haven’t been single as long as some of us that are currently single. I thought if I need a different type of encouragement, then other people would too.

As I was praying and asking God exactly what He wanted me to do, I got the answer to start a blog called Single In Christ. I was really hesitant to do it at first. I was afraid of being branded as the single girl (though I am). I was afraid that starting Single In Christ was akin to me saying I want to be single forever (which I don’t).

I was fearful that I’d have to commit to being single for a really long time (which I also don’t want).  I didn’t want to have to think about being single all the time or seem like I’m complaining about it. Although I celebrate those people who get married after several decades of singleness, I do not want that to be my testimony.

I also knew I couldn’t be led by my fears. I knew if God was telling me to do something I just had to trust Him enough to do it. In spite of all that, I still created Single In Christ, with God’s help.

Single In Christ started as a blog and is now a 2018 Gospel Image Award nominated video podcast.  God has really moved and I am glad I trusted Him. Through Single In Christ, He has blown my mind.

This time last year I said I wanted to feel accomplished.  Looking back, I’m proud to say that I do feel accomplished. I did something God told me to do. Prayerfully this ministry has persuaded at least one person to live for God. I’m diligently saving to buy a house.  I’ve changed my career path slightly. I’m sure of my purpose and what I’m supposed to do next. I’m more confident in how I see myself and how God sees me.

Yet I’m still single. I know God will give me what I need when I need it, but honestly, keeping the faith is a struggle. The wait is frustrating. Each day I’m relying on God and figuring out how to wait. So until His promise comes, I’ll keep getting closer to God. I’m confident that I will get married.

I’ll rest assured in Him knowing that his grace is sufficient. I don’t have to worry or be anxious about anything because God‘s got me. Until I get every promise I’m going to keep holding on to the joy and peace God gave me. I’m going to be happy right now.

I’m going to take comfort in the fact that next year I’ll be a better person and even more secure in God. I trust him enough to wait and work on me in the process. So as you’re reflecting on your personal new year don’t forget to celebrate your successes and remember that God is still good.

Our Father,

Thank You for a new season. Let me grab hold of everything You have for me. Help me to be more like You. Let me recognize every blessing You have for me. Help me to keep pressing forward. Thank You that my latter shall be greater. Thank You for showing Yourself strong and mighty in my life. I will continue to trust You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Philippians 4:4-7 (NLT)

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

 

Check out the latest podcast episode: Birth of Single In Christ

Onward and Upward

Posted on August 18, 2018

Remember, though things conspire and seek to destroy me, God has a plan to work it all for my good. Though I may be walking on thin ice, I know God’s got me. His ways are higher than mine. I don’t have to worry or be afraid. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. Jesus has already conquered the world and rose with all authority. What do I have to fear? Of whom shall I be afraid?

Satan has no authority over me. My help comes from the hills, from Jesus Himself. If He provides for the birds of the air and flowers in the field, won’t He also provide for me? So I will pray about everything and worry about nothing. I will give thanks. His grace is always sufficient to cover me and get me through. I will rest in God’s authority and ability. I need You, God to make it. God, You must be glorified in every aspect of my life.

I must die to myself so that Christ can live in me. Holy Spirit give me ears to hear what the Lord says. Forgive me Father for not always doing things Your way. I want Your will for my life. Help me to honestly repent and change my mindset. Help me to let go of those sinful things to which I desperately cling. Empty me out and fill me up with You. I want to live a holy life.

Whatever comes with attaining holiness, I accept with pleasure. Whether it’s a trial or a blessing, I will count it all joy. I know You will fortify me. You are my rock, my sword, and my shield. I will put on the armor of God and stand as You command. It is not in my own strength that I can do this. It’s only in yours that I am able to do anything.

Tha accuser is conquered by the blood of the Lamb, the word of my testimony, and by me not loving my own life unto death. I will move onward and upward. In You, God, that is the only place I can go.

In Jesus’ name

Amen.

Keep The Faith Part 2

Posted on July 20, 2018

Last week I posted about an encounter I had with an older woman who lost her faith in being married. The reason her story resonated with me is that I was once in that place. My faith in God wavered in many areas especially the area of getting married.

I feared that I would marry the wrong person. I convinced myself that I would marry an unfaithful man that really didn’t like me. I couldn’t shake the fear that I would marry this awful man who fooled me in the beginning and then revealed his true nature after marriage.

I thought if this is what I’m destined for, why get married at all? Why should I hope and have faith in God for something that would destroy me? I decided to just be that great friend who is always single or that fantastic aunt that gives her nieces and nephews the best gifts because she didn’t have any kids of her own.

I suspect the fear came from past relationships where I felt it started out wonderfully, then turned horrible. I couldn’t see anything else for myself. I forgot that faith isn’t about what I see. That fear developed into doubt. I didn’t trust God. I didn’t believe He could do what He promised.

I convinced myself that I didn’t even want a husband or kids. There weren’t any male prospects around me. I felt really lonely and bad about myself. I lost hope. I stopped praying because I didn’t think God heard me. I honestly thought He was punishing me for mistakes I made in the past. Instead of turning to God and casting my cares on Him so He can exalt me at the proper time, I turned to myself. I created a vision for my life that didn’t include the will of God.

I lost hope for the better part of a year. I literally felt like His grace left me. I felt like I was on my own, forever. It was a terrible feeling.  I doubted Him and forgot His promises. I forgot that He told me that I will be a wife and mother. I forgot He told me that grace is a gift from Him that I can’t earn. I forgot that nothing can separate me from His love. I forgot that the will of God is pleasing, good, and perfect. I forgot that the blessings of the Lord make me rich and won’t give me any sorrow.  I lost sight of Him. I allowed my emotions to rule me.

Instead of loving God with all of my mind, heart, and soul, I loved only myself. I put on the appearance of a Christian without living the lifestyle. I know all the churchy buzzwords to make it seem like I’m fantastic. Thank God that He knows my heart. He knew the pain and hopelessness I felt. He restored me. He gave me an unshakable faith in Him by sending people to speak life over me.

He sent His people to remind me of His promises. He told me that marriage is in His will for my life. He told me that I will be happy and loved. He told me that I am lovable. He told me that I will be a mother. He told me that He didn’t give me the spirit of fear. I chose to believe Him. I asked Him for forgiveness and to renew my mind. Renewal is a process.

I still have to tell myself daily that I trust in the Lord and in His timing. I still have to tell myself that I am a wife and mother. Notice that I use the present tense. I have to see myself as God sees me. He sees my entire future and I believe that in His perfect timing I will be a wife and mother. I believe that I am and will be happy.

I see now that loving and trusting God is a daily (or more often) choice. I choose to trust Him. I choose to pray and be honest about how I’m feeling. I choose to have daily affirmations that remind me of His promises for my life. I choose to remain in fellowship with those that speak life over me and remind me to keep God first.

If you have ever lost hope, my prayer is that this encourages you to seek God. Be honest with how and why you’re feeling the way you are. God hasn’t left you. He’s not punishing you for anything. I pray you are able to feel how much He loves you. I pray He sends angels to encircle you and encourage you. I pray that you surround yourself with people who will speak life into you if you’re struggling to believe. I’m a living witness that you can be restored. Your faith can increase. I pray that you are encouraged and continue to keep the faith.

Heavenly Father,

I praise You in advance for Your will being done in our lives. Thank You for every promise that You have spoken over us. I choose to cast down doubt and fear and live in the power and love that You have given us. I choose to trust You, Lord. I choose to seek You diligently. I choose to put You first in every area of my life. Renew our mind,  Lord. Help us to have the attitude and mind of Christ. Thank You Holy Spirit, for leading and guiding us into all truth. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Mark 11:22-24 (NIV)

22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Keep the Faith

Posted on July 13, 2018

I was speaking with an older woman who had given up the hope of ever getting married. She thought she should have been married at her age. She kept believing and hoping in God for the majority of her life, but as the years kept passing, with no real prospect in sight, she eventually lost hope. She now believes that she will never be wife or mother.

Several people, including me, tried to encourage her and tell her to keep the faith. We told her that God is faithful and just to deliver His promises. We told her losing hope gives one a pessimistic viewpoint on everything. Although she listened to our words of encouragement, I could tell that we had not changed her mind. She had lost hope. She had given up.

As this realization dawned on me, I couldn’t help but wonder, what happens to her now? What happens to people who lose their faith in God? What happens to God’s plan for their life? Is there any way that faith can be restored?

To answer these questions, I first looked at what faith is. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” I’m sure most of us have heard that scripture our entire lives and can even quote it, but what does it really mean?

Having faith really boils down to trusting God. Faith is having a confident expectation, a forward look with assurance. Faith is an expectation of a desire and proof of things we cannot yet see. Faith requires a person to wait in expectancy. Faith requires a person to have righteous desires and have the assurance that those desires will come to pass.

Faith isn’t just about believing God for certain things, it’s about believing that God is real and that He is who He says He is. Hebrews 11:6 says, “Now without faith it is impossible to please Him, for the one who approaches God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him.”

God is not pleased with those who do not have faith. He rewards those who through faith seek Him. By losing hope in God, you risk His displeasure with you. John 15:6 says, “If anyone does not remain in me, he is thrown out like a branch, and dries up; and such branches are gathered and thrown into the fire, and are burned up.” I certainly don’t want to experience God’s displeasure. I’m sure you don’t either, so be sure to faithfully remain in God.

God’s plan continues with or without you. Matthew 25 contains the parable of the talents. The master gives three people a sum of money, leaves, and does not tell them when He is returning. Two of the three make more money, but one is fearful and hides the money. When the master comes back, he commends the two, but about the one he says, “Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” (Matthew 23:28-29)

If your faith in God is lost, you cannot be obedient and you cannot remain in His will. You will lose out on the promises He has for you. They will be given to those who are faithful and obedient. God’s plan will be realized (Isaiah 55:11) so it’s best for you to be part of His plan.

It’s possible to restore faith in God because faith is a gift from God. It doesn’t come from works, it cannot be earned, it comes through grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). If you have lost faith repent, ask God for forgiveness, and ask Him to renew your mind. It’s not too late to start operating in faith instead of fear. Learn to lean on God and expect Him to come through for you. Don’t give up on God, He will never give up on you.

Our Father,

Thank You for increasing our faith in You. Help us to see You as strong and mighty. Holy Spirit bring to our memories every time that God has delivered on His promises. Help us to remember that God does not lie and His word does not return to Him void. Let us walk in expectation and have a confident assurance that God will do what He said He would do.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

Matthew 17:20 NET

“He told them, “It was because of your little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; nothing will be impossible for you.”