Category:

Obedience

Maybe It’s You…

Posted on October 13, 2018

Maybe it’s you. Let’s consider for a moment that you are the reason you are single. Maybe it’s not because all men or women are trash. Maybe it’s not God. Maybe we are blocking our own blessings.

Let me get personal for a minute. Maybe I’m the reason I’m single. I have to take an honest look at myself. In which areas could I improve?

I’m a horrible flirter. I take things too literally. I often can’t tell when someone is interested in or flirting with me. I give direct answers to flirty questions. I always think people are being nice, not flirty.  Men walk away without my number assuming I wasn’t interested. My friends have to tell me when someone flirting with me.

I don’t really go out. Most of the time I’m tired from work or church and when I get some time to myself, I want to spend it resting. How can I meet someone when I’m at home alone so much?

Do I even really know what I’m looking for in a future spouse. I always say things like he should have a good sense of humor and be a man of God, but what do those things really mean?

Do I want him to be funny or just know how to take a joke? Do I just want him to go to church or do I want him to have a relationship with Christ?

Am I still bitter from past relationships? Do I make the new men pay for what the old man did? Have I really forgiven my ex like I thought I did? I still have trust issues. I’m not sure I believe that a man will be faithful.

Let’s go a bit deeper. Am I being obedient to God’s word and His will? Does my daily walk look like I’m a follower of Christ? Am I willing to serve and be supportive?

Can I be selfless and forgiving? Am I prepared to let someone else have a say in my decisions other than God?

Or maybe I’m fantastic and I just haven’t met the right man yet. Either way, I want to remove everything that will keep me out of God’s will.

I am going to be a full participant in my marriage and I don’t want anything in me to hinder it. Moreover, I don’t want anything in me to hinder any blessing God has for me.

So, I’m taking the last quarter of 2018 to focus on becoming whole. I still desire marriage. By focusing on my own healing, wholeness, and deliverance I’ll just be better prepared for it.

I’m not perfect and I’m not expecting my husband to be either. I am going to keep pushing to be a better version of me though. Not for my husband, but to please God. I want everything He placed in me to be poured out.

I believe it’s time for us to focus on becoming whole and satisfied by ourselves. God is faithful even in our singleness. After all, the goal isn’t marriage. The ultimate goal is to get to heaven and I’m determined to get there.

Watch the latest podcast episode: Why Celibacy?

Birth of Single In Christ

Posted on September 28, 2018

My 33rd birthday was three days ago and every year when my birthday rolls around I take some time to reflect on the past year.  I thought my life would look so different by now.

10 years ago when I was 23, I thought the next decade would see a great marriage,  beautiful home, and nice cars. What I didn’t take into account was God‘s plan for my life. I didn’t know He had Single In Christ in store for me.

I started Single In Christ about one year ago because God put a burden and passion in my heart for single people. I feel like single people need encouragement from someone who is currently single.

I understand the appeal of seeking advice from married people. They are where we want to be. While I thank God for our married brothers and sisters, sometimes they are just a little too far removed from single life.  Or they haven’t been single as long as some of us that are currently single. I thought if I need a different type of encouragement, then other people would too.

As I was praying and asking God exactly what He wanted me to do, I got the answer to start a blog called Single In Christ. I was really hesitant to do it at first. I was afraid of being branded as the single girl (though I am). I was afraid that starting Single In Christ was akin to me saying I want to be single forever (which I don’t).

I was fearful that I’d have to commit to being single for a really long time (which I also don’t want).  I didn’t want to have to think about being single all the time or seem like I’m complaining about it. Although I celebrate those people who get married after several decades of singleness, I do not want that to be my testimony.

I also knew I couldn’t be led by my fears. I knew if God was telling me to do something I just had to trust Him enough to do it. In spite of all that, I still created Single In Christ, with God’s help.

Single In Christ started as a blog and is now a 2018 Gospel Image Award nominated video podcast.  God has really moved and I am glad I trusted Him. Through Single In Christ, He has blown my mind.

This time last year I said I wanted to feel accomplished.  Looking back, I’m proud to say that I do feel accomplished. I did something God told me to do. Prayerfully this ministry has persuaded at least one person to live for God. I’m diligently saving to buy a house.  I’ve changed my career path slightly. I’m sure of my purpose and what I’m supposed to do next. I’m more confident in how I see myself and how God sees me.

Yet I’m still single. I know God will give me what I need when I need it, but honestly, keeping the faith is a struggle. The wait is frustrating. Each day I’m relying on God and figuring out how to wait. So until His promise comes, I’ll keep getting closer to God. I’m confident that I will get married.

I’ll rest assured in Him knowing that his grace is sufficient. I don’t have to worry or be anxious about anything because God‘s got me. Until I get every promise I’m going to keep holding on to the joy and peace God gave me. I’m going to be happy right now.

I’m going to take comfort in the fact that next year I’ll be a better person and even more secure in God. I trust him enough to wait and work on me in the process. So as you’re reflecting on your personal new year don’t forget to celebrate your successes and remember that God is still good.

Our Father,

Thank You for a new season. Let me grab hold of everything You have for me. Help me to be more like You. Let me recognize every blessing You have for me. Help me to keep pressing forward. Thank You that my latter shall be greater. Thank You for showing Yourself strong and mighty in my life. I will continue to trust You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Philippians 4:4-7 (NLT)

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

 

Check out the latest podcast episode: Birth of Single In Christ

Onward and Upward

Posted on August 18, 2018

Remember, though things conspire and seek to destroy me, God has a plan to work it all for my good. Though I may be walking on thin ice, I know God’s got me. His ways are higher than mine. I don’t have to worry or be afraid. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. Jesus has already conquered the world and rose with all authority. What do I have to fear? Of whom shall I be afraid?

Satan has no authority over me. My help comes from the hills, from Jesus Himself. If He provides for the birds of the air and flowers in the field, won’t He also provide for me? So I will pray about everything and worry about nothing. I will give thanks. His grace is always sufficient to cover me and get me through. I will rest in God’s authority and ability. I need You, God to make it. God, You must be glorified in every aspect of my life.

I must die to myself so that Christ can live in me. Holy Spirit give me ears to hear what the Lord says. Forgive me Father for not always doing things Your way. I want Your will for my life. Help me to honestly repent and change my mindset. Help me to let go of those sinful things to which I desperately cling. Empty me out and fill me up with You. I want to live a holy life.

Whatever comes with attaining holiness, I accept with pleasure. Whether it’s a trial or a blessing, I will count it all joy. I know You will fortify me. You are my rock, my sword, and my shield. I will put on the armor of God and stand as You command. It is not in my own strength that I can do this. It’s only in yours that I am able to do anything.

Tha accuser is conquered by the blood of the Lamb, the word of my testimony, and by me not loving my own life unto death. I will move onward and upward. In You, God, that is the only place I can go.

In Jesus’ name

Amen.

Keep the Faith

Posted on July 13, 2018

I was speaking with an older woman who had given up the hope of ever getting married. She thought she should have been married at her age. She kept believing and hoping in God for the majority of her life, but as the years kept passing, with no real prospect in sight, she eventually lost hope. She now believes that she will never be wife or mother.

Several people, including me, tried to encourage her and tell her to keep the faith. We told her that God is faithful and just to deliver His promises. We told her losing hope gives one a pessimistic viewpoint on everything. Although she listened to our words of encouragement, I could tell that we had not changed her mind. She had lost hope. She had given up.

As this realization dawned on me, I couldn’t help but wonder, what happens to her now? What happens to people who lose their faith in God? What happens to God’s plan for their life? Is there any way that faith can be restored?

To answer these questions, I first looked at what faith is. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” I’m sure most of us have heard that scripture our entire lives and can even quote it, but what does it really mean?

Having faith really boils down to trusting God. Faith is having a confident expectation, a forward look with assurance. Faith is an expectation of a desire and proof of things we cannot yet see. Faith requires a person to wait in expectancy. Faith requires a person to have righteous desires and have the assurance that those desires will come to pass.

Faith isn’t just about believing God for certain things, it’s about believing that God is real and that He is who He says He is. Hebrews 11:6 says, “Now without faith it is impossible to please Him, for the one who approaches God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him.”

God is not pleased with those who do not have faith. He rewards those who through faith seek Him. By losing hope in God, you risk His displeasure with you. John 15:6 says, “If anyone does not remain in me, he is thrown out like a branch, and dries up; and such branches are gathered and thrown into the fire, and are burned up.” I certainly don’t want to experience God’s displeasure. I’m sure you don’t either, so be sure to faithfully remain in God.

God’s plan continues with or without you. Matthew 25 contains the parable of the talents. The master gives three people a sum of money, leaves, and does not tell them when He is returning. Two of the three make more money, but one is fearful and hides the money. When the master comes back, he commends the two, but about the one he says, “Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” (Matthew 23:28-29)

If your faith in God is lost, you cannot be obedient and you cannot remain in His will. You will lose out on the promises He has for you. They will be given to those who are faithful and obedient. God’s plan will be realized (Isaiah 55:11) so it’s best for you to be part of His plan.

It’s possible to restore faith in God because faith is a gift from God. It doesn’t come from works, it cannot be earned, it comes through grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). If you have lost faith repent, ask God for forgiveness, and ask Him to renew your mind. It’s not too late to start operating in faith instead of fear. Learn to lean on God and expect Him to come through for you. Don’t give up on God, He will never give up on you.

Our Father,

Thank You for increasing our faith in You. Help us to see You as strong and mighty. Holy Spirit bring to our memories every time that God has delivered on His promises. Help us to remember that God does not lie and His word does not return to Him void. Let us walk in expectation and have a confident assurance that God will do what He said He would do.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

Matthew 17:20 NET

“He told them, “It was because of your little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; nothing will be impossible for you.”

Settling

Posted on May 19, 2018

Single people in Christ are often told to not settle for less. We are told to accept nothing less than God’s best for our lives. Be it a potential partner or a career opportunity, how do we know what God’s best is for us? How can we make certain that we aren’t settling?

Everything we need is in God’s presence. In His presence, we will find victory, provision, protection, and discernment. Once we start to spend more and more time with God we get to know Him and He will reveal things to us. He will show us how to proceed with whatever opportunity presents itself. He will show us who is sent from Him and who is sent from the enemy.

Spending time with God requires intentionality. It also requires more than just going to church. Going to church is great, but how well can we know someone we only spend two hours with per week? How can we get to know God if the only time we spend with Him is on Sunday morning? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing anyone who does this, but like all things, in life, we get out what we put in.

We must honestly assess what we’re putting into our relationship with God. Are we sincere and genuine with Him? Are we really submitting ourselves to Him like we should? As we grow closer to God there is no way we could settle for anything less than His best. He will show us what He has for us. He will also give us the power and strength to work towards His promises until they manifest.

Spending time with God adjusts our expectations. We will begin to see the world and people through Him. We will start to put on the mind and attitude of Christ. Jesus’ purpose on Earth was to glorify the Father by obeying God. That should be our mindset as well. We have to make sure that we are doing what God told us to do and the rest will come.

We have to be faithful and dedicated to fulfilling the reason we’re put on the Earth. We all have a purpose. Abiding in God and spending time with Him will lead you to your purpose. As we start seeing things from God’s perspective our expectations will shift. We may go from having a list of 100+ things for a potential spouse to 10 things because we’re now looking for things that are more spiritual than physical.

We need standards and guidelines for dating and/or courting. God gives us those standards in the bible. He will provide what we need when we need it. I truly believe that when we dwell in His presence, obey, trust, and wait on Him, we will get our every heart’s desire. We have to hold tight to Him and His promises. We must not get weary for we will reap if we faint not. (Galatians 6:9)

This journey isn’t easy. If it was, the whole world would be following Christ. We have to remember who we are. We have to remember that we are royalty and co-heirs with Christ. We will have to say no sometimes. We will have to watch others get what we desire, all because we refuse to settle for less than God’s best. It may get painful or lonely at times, but I know it’s worth it. God will comfort and keep us. I know that whatever God has promised will come to pass.

Don’t give up. Serving God has its rewards. Keep sowing seeds of goodness and kindness. Keep spending time with Him and asking what His will is for your life. Be intentional. Take it one day at a time. Keep striving to be the better person God has called us to be. When we’re in Him and know what He has for us, the only way we settle is if we give up and stop believing what He has for us will come. Keep fighting. Keep working. Know that we’re all in this together and we’re fighting right beside one another.

Encourage one another along this Christian journey. Pray for each other. If you see a fellow sister or brother struggling, reach out and build them up; say an encouraging word. Remind everyone and yourself to remain faithful and to take God at His word. It’s hard not to settle for what’s in right front of us. Remember your purpose and keep God’s standards in the forefront of your mind. Ask God for wisdom. He will give it to us. He has a plan for us. He has the plan to prosper and not harm us. He has the plan to give us a future and hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Keep going and don’t settle. It’ll be worth it.

 

Our Father,

Thank You, God, for helping us put on the mind of Christ. Help us to live for You and put You first. We know that by putting You first, everything else will be given to us. We ask You for wisdom, instruction, and understanding God. We also ask for an extra measure of patience and faith. Help us to not lose hope. You told us not to worry about tomorrow, God. Let us find the strength in You to just trust You and not worry. Thank You, God, for revealing Your truth to us. Help us to wait on You and not settle for less than Your best.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Matthew 6:31-34 (NIV)

31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 

Check out the latest podcast episode: Are you settling?

 

To Approach or To Not Approach?

Posted on April 27, 2018

We all know that faith without works is dead. So when it comes to entering a relationship, how much work are we as Christian women supposed to put in? Should we approach men? There are two schools of thought on the subject. Some people say it’s the man’s role to initiate and the woman’s role to respond. Others say that there’s nothing wrong with a woman initiating conversation or even asking a man on a date.

The problem with the former is that single Christian women are often frustrated with men that never initiate. Several of my girlfriends and I find it frustrating to have a man basically stare you down but never approach. The problem with the latter school of thought is that women should not pursue men. But is it really pursuing a man by initiating contact? It can get tricky.

There are all kinds of statistics and studies on why women should approach men but we are called to live by a different standard. What does God have to say about it? Is it sinful for a Christian woman to approach a Christian man?

The New Testament doesn’t really offer much in the way of dating advice. There is, of course, Ephesians 5 which encourages husbands and wives to submit to each other and sets out God’s design for leadership. The husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23). God wants the man to be the leader, but this verse speaks specifically to husbands and wives. What about single women? Are we supposed to let men lead in the dating world too?

The Old Testament does have some courting and marriage stories. The two that stuck out to me was Rebekah and Ruth. Rebekah’s story begins with Abraham wanting a wife for his son Isaac. Abraham sent his servant to find a wife and while the servant was traveling he asked God for a sign. He asked God that the woman to be Isaac’s wife offer him water and offer to water his camels.

This is significant because the servant had 10 camels with him and thirsty camels can drink up to 25 gallons of water. When the servant came to the well he asked Rebekah for some water. She said yes and offered to water his camels too. Rebekah didn’t initiate contact but she was kind and showed her true servant’s heart. Although the was very beautiful, it was her heart that ultimately won over the servant.

Ruth’s story begins with her being a widow and going back to Naomi’s, her mother-in-law, hometown. Because they had no male relative to take care of them, they were practically destitute. Ruth gleaned from the fields of Boaz so that she could eat. Boaz saw how hard she was working and. Told the men in the field to leave her alone. It is discovered that Boaz is their kinsman-redeemer so Naomi urged Ruth to dress up and go lay on the threshing floor with Boaz. Though this seems like Ruth is approaching Boaz for marriage, what she was really doing was asking for protection from poverty, which was Boaz’s responsibility. Her request just so happened to result in marriage.

So what now? Should Christian women initiate contact or not? I think the number one thing to do, in all circumstances, is to be led by the Holy Spirit and glorify God in everything you do. What we learn from Rebekah and Ruth is to be loyal, faithful, and kind-hearted. Those characteristics ultimately got them married. We also learn that their intentions were pure. Their interactions with the men weren’t for the purpose of starting a relationship.

There is nothing sinful with initiating contact by saying hello or smiling at a potential mate. Letting someone know through a wave or kind word that you’re open for conversation is perfectly fine. I personally would never ask a man out because I feel that blurs the line of pursuit. I don’t want to be in the position to continually have to initiate every date or contact. I think the man should show some leadership skills if we are dating with the purpose of marriage in mind.

Rebekah and Ruth didn’t do anything extraordinary to meet their husbands. They were out living their lives and doing what they probably did every day. Rachel was getting water from the well. Ruth was getting some food to eat. Their loyalty, generosity, and hard work led to their marriages. The men noticed something different about them through their everyday actions.

If you desire marriage, get serious about doing our Father’s business. Figure out the purpose He’s placed on your life and get busy. While you’re out serving or just in the regular course of your day, there’s no telling who you’ll meet. Arrange a group dinner with men and women. Be deliberate about who you invite. Strike up conversations about everything. Get some good eye contact in. Be open, be kind, and follow God. He’s sure to give you the desires of your heart.

 

Our Father,

I pray Your will be done in my life. Thank You for allowing me to serve You. I consider it a privilege and an honor. I trust You, God. I believe that Your promises are yes and amen. I believe that Your faithful promises are my armor and protection. Help me to give You all of my cares, worries, and frustrations. Help me to wait on and trust in You, Lord. I pray that my husband seeks You and is led by You. I pray that my husband exhibits leadership qualities and surrenders his will to Yours. Thank You for already arranging the day we will meet. Help us to live a life pleasing to You. Help us to live according to Your commands. Let our meeting, courtship, and marriage glorify You, God.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

 

Watch the latest podcast episode: Approachable

Prayer

Posted on April 13, 2018

Prayer is an essential part of our relationship with God. Sometimes, for whatever reason, it’s hard to pray. I struggle with this more often than I’d like to admit. The natural question is how do we overcome that? How can we, despite our mood and environment, still talk to God?

I think one thing we should do is remove some misconceptions about prayer. Prayer is just talking to God. It’s just another way we communicate with God. I used to think prayer had to be done in a certain way and in a specific environment to be a “real prayer.” That’s just not true.

Prayer can be done in private or in public. Prayers can be said silently or aloud. Prayers can be said with your eyes open or closed, kneeling, standing, or walking. There is no way that is better than another. The most important thing is making sure your heart is in the right position.  We must be confident in the things we pray about. 1 John 5:24 says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” We have to approach prayer knowing that He hears us and will answer. 

We must also make sure that we are praying with pure motives. We can’t be out to manipulate God into doing what we want Him to do. We have to seek His will above our own. I know this is tough. We all want what we want.  But we must endeavor to crucify our flesh. James 4:3 says, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” That’s why it’s so important, no matter how you pray, that your heart and mind are focused on God’s will. 

Okay, so what happens when your heart is for God and you still find it difficult to pray? Keep in mind that there is no length requirement for prayer. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “…constantly pray.” Which means you can pray to God throughout the day. There’s no right or wrong time to pray.  Pray whenever you get a chance for however long you feel you need to pray.

Paul wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6–7) So we can pray about everything that concerns us. We should pray in every situation. God cares for us, we just need to talk to Him about what’s going on. Ask Him for help with everything.

If you’re still feeling a little stuck, send up a prayer of adoration. Just praise God for who He is. Or confess to God about some of the things you’ve done and agree with Him that you need forgiveness. You could pray a prayer of thanksgiving. Give thanks to God for what He’s done, what He’s doing, and what He’s going to do. You could also talk to God and tell Him what’s concerning you and then cast your cares on Him. You can do a combination of these or all of these, just as long as you’re talking to God from your heart.

Listen to some of your favorite worship music. You know the songs I’m talking about, the ones that always take you to the throne. When we worship God prayer usually flows naturally from there. You can also look back at your life and see how far God has brought you. When I do this I usually end up in a prayer thanking and praising God. Looking back allows you to see how good God really is and can be motivation to pray.

If you’re going through something, look up bible verses dealing with that subject and speak them back to God. For example, if I’m feeling lonely or confused or having a moment of doubt, I just look up verses about love, wisdom, or faith and speak those verses back to God over and over until I receive them in my heart.

I often use the Lord’s prayer sort of as jumping off point. This is a prayer that Jesus taught His disciples in Matthew 6:9-13. I like to say it because each part reminds me of my relationship with God and it makes it easier to communicate with Him.

Our Father in heaven: This reminds me that I have a close parent/child relationship with God. I can call Him Father. He is that close to me. And not only is He my Father, He’s our Father. Which means I’m not only in relationship with Him, but I have brothers and sisters in Christ all around the world that I’m in a relationship with as well. He’s our Father.

Hallowed be thy name: To hallow something means to honor it as holy, it means to revere and respect it. This reminds me of who God is and how I should treat Him. He is holy and I revere Him.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven: This reminds me to crucify my flesh with its selfish desires and pray for God’s will to be done. I want that same will that is happening in heaven to happen right here on earth.

Give us our daily bread: This reminds me that God’s mercy is new every day and that I also have to seek him daily for what I need and that I have to pray without ceasing.

Forgive Us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us: I have to ask for forgiveness for every sin and forgive others just like God forgave me. I have to be as forgiving as God is toward me. I have to show the same compassion and mercy towards others that God gives me daily.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil: This is a plea for protection from every trap, trial, and temptation set up by the enemy of our souls. God will never tempt us, this is a cry to God to help us not give in, to help us avoid sin. This helps me to remember where my victory comes from and how He will protect me.

I don’t want to over-complicate prayer. At the end of the day, prayer is just communication between us and God. It’s a way to get peace, it’s a way to stop worrying. Prayer helps us discern God’s will and defeat whatever the enemy is throwing at us. The effectual and fervent prayers of the righteous accomplish much (James 5:16). There’s no wrong or right way to pray. The purpose of the prayer is what matters.

Our Father,

Thank You for ripping the veil and allowing us access to Your throne. Thank You, God, for the ability to come to you with all of our cares and worries and cast them on You. Help our hearts to have the right motives when we approach You. Let nothing distract us from talking to our Creator. Free us from any misconceptions of prayer so that we can come to You in prayer as often as we need to. Help us to trust that our prayers will be answered. Help us to seek Your will above our own in every situation.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Check out the latest podcast episode: Essentials of Prayer

Online Dating

Posted on March 23, 2018

Is Online Dating wrong for Christians? Not necessarily. But, let me tell you my story.

Back in the summer of 2015 on the advice of some friends I joined an online dating site.
Before I joined I always said I don’t think I’m going to meet my husband online. I just never felt that way. I joined anyway.

I went on my first online date in the summer of 2015. Although I was super nervous, the date went well. He was a gentleman. He walked me to my car and pulled out my chair. After the date, we even continued to talk, but it eventually fizzled out.

After that, there were a series of guys I talked to online. Nothing really ever came from those interactions either. After talking to a guy and it not working out, I would always go back to feeling like I’m not even supposed to be online dating in the first place.

I felt like it was a distraction from what I was really supposed to be doing and a waste of time. Yet, I persisted. I wanted to give online dating a real shot because some of my friends met really good guys from online dating.

I mean really good Christian guys and some were even getting married to these men they met online.

Even though I persisted, I always had a little tugging in my spirit saying that this isn’t really for me. By this time it is late 2016. I tell myself that if I’m going to do this, I will try out a paid online dating site. So I take my profile down from the free site and pay real actual dollars to meet men online.

I met a few men, and I went on a date with 2 of them. The first one was bad.He basically said that all he wanted was sex. I said thanks for being honest but Nah.The next date I went on was the worst date of my life.

After that date, I decided to take a break. I took down every profile and sat myself down.Here are some lessons I learned from my experience of online dating:

Although online dating by itself is not sinful, it’s not for me.

1 Corinthians 10:23 says, “I have the right to do anything,” you say–but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”–but not everything is constructive.”

I could have been in a very different place in my life had I just listened to the Holy Spirit. There is no telling what my life would be like right now.

I’m not going to beat myself up about it though because Romans 8:1 says, “so now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.”

I’m not condemned for my mistakes. I’m forgiven and through God’s mercy and grace, I have another chance to do it right.
I learned to listen to and follow the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:16 says, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.”
Had I been following the direction of the Holy Spirit I would have saved myself some time, money, and headache.

Ultimately what I want is for God to be glorified in my waiting, dating, and marriage.
1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

I have to make sure that all of my decisions and actions give God the glory. That definitely wasn’t happening when I was online dating. My motive was to find a husband, not to glorify God.

So is online dating wrong?

Not necessarily. But for me, it is, at least for right now. As I said before, I’m deciding to be more open to whatever God has for me and if He tells me to go online then that’s what I’ll do.The most important thing is to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit and make sure God is getting the glory out of everything.

Online dating may not be wrong for you. But don’t try to match anyone else’s story. God has written a unique and amazing story for each and every one of us. They all don’t have to be the same.

Some may meet their husband or wife online, some may meet them at Walmart. Just follow God. He’ll tell you what’s right or wrong.

Our Father,

God, I come to You asking that I allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me into all truth. I ask that the desires of my heart match Your will for me. Let me not be distracted. Let every decision I make and every action I take be for Your glory. Thank You, God, for forgiveness. Help me to not relive old mistakes, but keep pressing forward in You.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

 

Check out my latest podcast episode: Is Online Dating Wrong?

 

 

 

I Need You

Posted on March 9, 2018

Father, I need You. Help me live as You intended. I want my life to be holy, pleasing, and acceptable to You, Lord. I’m already in Christ, who is well pleasing to our Father. I just have to live according to Your precepts and commands. I have to be what You fearfully and wonderfully created. I have to stop trying to live up to the expectations of others. I have to live for Yahweh.

I still have to work and believe, but I don’t have to try so hard to make everything perfect. I’m not perfect. There is no one perfect except Jesus. The land and the fullness thereof has already been laid at my feet. I thank You, Yahweh, for what You have already done. I praise and worship You, Yahweh, because of who You are.

You already set the end before the beginning. So, thank You, Yahweh, for already providing.Thank You, Yahweh, for meeting every one of my needs. Thank You for giving me the desires of my heart. For allowing me to be me, the person You created uniquely. Thank You for removing fear and doubt and replacing them with love and approval. Yet, I still need You. 

I need Your strength. I need Your Holy Spirit so that I can be more available to You. I need to be Your vessel.  I need to be in the position You require so that Your will may be done. I need to put Your desires above my own.  Yahweh, I cannot do this alone! I need you! I need you! I know that all I have to do is believe and walk. Give me the strength to endure.

Hold me up on all sides. I command the angels ordered to protect me to make the path as clear as possible. I charge them to hold me up as I walk. I need to complete this journey to be able to successfully complete Your will. Without a vision, the people will perish. Help me to see the vision plainly, Yahweh. 

Thank You for already planting the seeds within me. Thank You for allowing me to learn and my faith to grow. Thank You for desiring an intimate relationship with me, for allowing me to know Your name.  Thank You for transforming my mind and allowing me to learn from You and those around me. I need You, Yahweh. 

In Jesus’ name, I pray,

Amen.

Psalm 91:11-12  (NLT)

For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.

Proverbs 29:18 (KJV)

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

Isaiah 46:10 (NET)

10 who announces the end from the beginning
and reveals beforehand what has not yet occurred,
who says, ‘My plan will be realized,
I will accomplish what I desire,’

Romans 12:1-2New Living Translation (NLT)

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

 

Check out my latest podcast episode Patiently Waiting:

https://youtu.be/Pk_99JYzI4s

https://youtu.be/Pk_99JYzI4s

 

Still Patiently Waiting…

Posted on March 2, 2018

I feel like giving up. Is all this really worth it? Everything is on my nerves. It seems like everyone else is getting exactly what they want and I’m over here waiting. Other people are living any kind of way and still getting promises. Is there something more I can do? I don’t want to hurry God along, but my goodness, He sure is taking His sweet time.

I’ve heard it all before. Those people seem like they have it all, but I don’t know the state of their soul. I don’t know what they had to do to get that. Well, you’re right. I don’t know the state of their soul, but they sure do look happy with those new cars, houses, and husbands. I don’t know what they’re doing to get all that, but I do know what I’m not doing and that I don’t have all that. They look like wives and mothers and I look like super-saved Sally. I’m exhausted. Maybe I’m doing too much or not doing enough. I don’t know.

I do know that blessings are not necessarily material things. I know that God also gives us spiritual blessings. But, sometimes I want the material things. It sounds bad, but it’s true. My focus should really be on pleasing God and seeking what He has for me to do in this waiting season. I’m sure my patience is being tested and I’ll have an awesome testimony on the other side of this. I’m just not feeling it right now.

I really appreciate all those people who waited 50 and 60 years for God to deliver His promise, but honestly, I don’t want that to be my testimony. God, can I be one of those ‘suddenly it happened’ people? I don’t want to have to wait forever. I know it’s whiny and selfish. I should be grateful for the way my life is right now. I am grateful for my life, mostly anyway. In the grand scheme of things, my waiting season hasn’t been that long. It just feels like it’s been forever.

I’m not just talking about marriage, house, and kids. I’m talking about whatever big or small thing is next. Whatever will take me out of this holding pattern. I know the waiting period has a purpose–to make sure I’m in a position to receive the next thing God has for me. That’s why I don’t understand how I got into this headspace. One day I just woke up and was tired of doing it all. Tired of being a leader. Tired of answering questions. Tired of being the poster child of a saved single woman. I want to quit.

I had to call on God. I told Him through prayer and journaling how I honestly feel. I want to wait with anticipation, expectation, and hope, but it’s hard right now. The problem is I don’t know why it’s so hard. Usually, I pray and read scripture, talk to God and some friends and I find encouragement. Usually, I am able to make it through this feeling. This time feels different. I really want to be grateful and obedient but it’s a real struggle right now.

I’m probably on the verge of some big breakthrough or receiving God’s promise. I feel like I’m hitting a wall and I’m just tired of everything. I want to stop everything. I know it’s my flesh rebelling against submitting to God. But again I ask, why now? Why do I feel this so strongly? I get like this from time to time and the only thing I can do is rely on God to renew my strength. His grace is sufficient and His power and strength are made perfect in my weakness. I gladly boast about how weak I’m feeling because I’m only making it through because of God’s power and strength.

I’m grateful that even this is working for my good. I don’t know how yet but I’m glad it is. I’m glad that I serve a God that gives me what I need when I need it. I’m so grateful that I can cry out to God and tell Him how I truly feel. I’m glad that I don’t feel the need to wear a mask and hide how I’m feeling. I’m thankful that God restores me and strengthens me. I’m happy that I can ask Him to help me with my unbelief.

I know that now is the time to press deeper into God, not run away. I have to trust Him now more than ever. I am totally relying on His strength. I cannot do this alone. I cannot rely on my feelings, I have to rely on my faith in Him. My faith tells me that Jesus is Lord and I have the Holy Spirit leading and guiding me. My feelings are telling me to quit everything and just do whatever I want to do.

Thank God, for His Holy Spirit. It’s a struggle, but I choose to crucify my flesh and follow Christ. I know what He has for me will be worth the wait. He didn’t bring me this far to leave me. I still love and trust Him, I just have to dig a little deeper to keep Him first. God is a promise keeper. God is faithful. I can’t lose sight of the promise. I don’t want anything less than what God has promised. I’ll just have to make sure that I’m grounded in God and constantly being led by the Holy Spirit. I’m not giving up, I’m still patiently waiting on the Lord.

 

Our Father,

Thank You, God, for my life as it is right now. Thank you that I am able to trust in You and You will renew my strength. Thank You, Father, that I can come to You with my honest feelings and thoughts. You give rest to the weary. I thank You for rest God. Help me to not compare my journey to the journey of others Lord. I believe that what You have for me will be worth the wait. Father, please remove every negative thought and feeling and help me to focus on You. Help me to renew my mind and crucify my flesh as often as necessary. Help me to think about things that are pleasing and worthy of praise. Help me to submit to You in every area of my life. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)

But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Check out my new podcast: Saved.

https://youtu.be/z2e3_raiVn4