Category:

Holy Spirit

Bible Study

God’s Truth

Posted on December 7, 2019

What do I believe? Is it God’s truth or what I want to believe? It’s time to get back to the truth. The truth is found in God’s word and to follow it I must know it. In an effort to become more transparent and honest with myself and God, I decided to really look at what I believed. Where did the belief originate? Is it the truth? Am I correctly perceiving and understanding God?


Brittany Broaddus, a guest on The Love Hour podcast, stated there are 3 principles that often get confused when discussing theology and things of God;

  • Biblical Mandate
  • Convictions
  • Preference


I decided to research this further. I want to be absolutely sure that I’m sharing the truth.

Biblical Mandate


A biblical mandate is universally applicable. This is what God says about the issue and we all, as believers, have to follow it. The bible is the divinely inspired word of God. What God says goes. For example: Drinking alcohol. There isn’t a biblical mandate that makes drinking alcohol a sin. However, there are people who preach against drinking alcohol, as if it’s a sin. Here’s how confusion enters and why it’s so important to know God’s word for yourself.


Over the course of the years, many well-intentioned people have misquoted, taken out of context, misapplied, or plain just misused scripture. It is very important when reading and studying the bible to ask some very basic questions.

  • Who is God talking to?
  • What is happening at this time in history in the bible?
  • What is the context of the verse?
  • Why is God saying this at this time?


We must study to show ourselves approved as workers who can rightly divide the truth. Are we accurately quoting scripture? Does God say that or did someone we love and admire say that? We have to get back to God’s word. We have to get back to the truth.

Conviction


Convictions are caused by the living Holy Spirit that dwells inside of us. As Christians, once we confess with our mouths and believe with our hearts, we receive salvation and the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit leads, guides, comforts, and convicts. Conviction is something the Holy Spirit leads us not to do because it’s not for us. Let’s look at drinking alcohol again.

There is no biblical mandate against drinking. There are, however, biblical mandates calling believers to be sober-minded and to not be drunk. This is where conviction comes in. Because God knows us, He may tell some people not to drink or the Holy Spirit will convict us if we partake in too much alcohol. But, the Holy Spirit may not lead others that way.

Whose Voice?

Conviction by the Holy Spirit is great. It will lead us in the right direction. We must be careful however to distinguish between conviction and condemnation. The enemy condemns and the Holy Spirit convicts. Conviction is a gentle push to do what you know is right. Condemnation is a heavy feeling of guilt or shame for doing what you know is wrong. There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.


Also, make sure the conviction we’re feeling is from the Holy Spirit and not the voice of anyone else whispering their convictions in our ear. I have been guilty of this. I used to follow a teacher that said as Christians we were so holy we couldn’t do anything in this world, like go to the movies. Going to the movies convicted me! Seems silly now, but that used to make me feel so bad. There is no biblical mandate against enjoying a movie. The Holy Spirit may convict me about the type of movie I watch, but I was needlessly misguided based on another’s personal conviction or misinterpretation of scripture. Another reason to be grounded in God’s truth.

Preferences

Lastly, there are personal preferences. While these can be guided by biblical mandates or convictions, they are usually what a person wants. Take the example of drinking alcohol. There isn’t a biblical mandate against it and I don’t personally feel convicted by drinking, but I prefer to drink wine over hard liquor. Preferences can be based on anything or nothing. So, when following a certain teacher or speaking on things of God, we must be vigilant and make sure that it’s based on Biblical truth.


Ultimately, the best thing to do is to test the spirit by the spirit. Spend time with God so that we know His voice. That includes me. I try my best to know His word and His truth, but it’s not always easy. Especially if we are listening to someone we know, love, and trust. So, I apologize if I ever passed off a conviction or preference as a scriptural mandate from God. From now on, I will try my best to operate in truth. I will take more time to study and hear from God.


Thanks for joining me on my journey through singleness!
Until next time,
Kim

Recommended Resources: www.theintimacyfirm.com

Suggested Reading: Dating Lessons

The Battle

Posted on November 26, 2019
falling short

I’m battling God and I’m tired. I’m running away from the calling God placed on my life. I’m battling to keep what I need to let go. I fought for so long to have my way and now I’m exhausted. The battle cost me peace, happiness, the ability to love without condition, and patience. Why am I fighting with God? Because I am afraid.

Terrified

I’m terrified I’m not worth more than what I have right now. What if this is all there is and God doesn’t do what He promised? What if He takes longer than I’m willing to wait. Am I willing to forsake the future God showed me, for now? If I continue to keep what He told me to let go, will I ever get to what God has for me?

Even if I embrace God’s path for me, will I get to it? Am I even worthy enough to do His work? It gets hard and lonely as the super saved girl. What if I just don’t have what it takes? I declare every day that I am confident in God and His word. But, how do I trust when it seems like I’m waiting in vain? This I know for sure, every time I fully surrendered and trusted Him fully, He blew my mind.

Surrender

So, how do I get back to that place? That place where I let go and let God. How do I get to the fully surrendered, prostrate before the Lord, just me and Him place? I used to be there. I heard His voice clearly and followed it. My selfish desires get the best of me. I got distracted, confused, and lost. I fell all the way down. How did I get here?

I know the scriptures, I know the pitfalls to avoid. Or, at least I thought I did. Now I’m unstable. I’m fighting and screaming just to get back, but He seems so far away. That’s when I fell to my knees and gave up the fight. God, I cannot live this way. You called me to be holy and set apart. The righteous fall seven times and get back up. I need to get up. I have sinned and fallen short of the glorious standard of Christ but there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ.

Victory at Last

I’m in Christ. He has taken on every sin. He paid the penalty for each fall. Lord, help me get to a place where I abhor sin. Where I crucify my flesh with its lust and desires for this world, and pick up my cross and follow You. Help me to be grateful for today and not worry about tomorrow or what’s to come. Let me do what I can do today.

I have to make sure I’m hearing God’s voice above it all. God’s voice is in His word. I surrender God, I surrender all. I’m tired of trying it my own way. I fully accept the calling, gifts, and talents you have placed in my life. You win God. Funny thing is, I finally feel victorious. Now, I’m ready to walk the path to redemption.


Pray and Wait

Posted on July 27, 2019

As Christian singles, especially single Christian women, we are advised to pray and wait. For every conceivable request, the answer is, and I think will probably always be, pray and wait. God will give you the desires of your heart girl, just pray and wait. He’s going to do it. Don’t give up, keep on praying and waiting. So, what happens when that advice isn’t working?

Advice for Christian Singles

I have even given that advice before. Just hold on to the promise. Don’t lose faith. It will be worth the wait. Keep praying. What no one discusses is the fact that the pray and wait mentality can lead to passivity. It can lead to a bunch of nothing. It can lead to frustrated men and women who are sick and tired of waiting and praying.

I do not believe the intention behind the advice to wait and pray is for the person to just sit back and expect God to do all the work. Nonetheless, it has that effect. People place all the responsibility on God and none on themselves. They get mad at God for not moving on their behalf and jump ahead of Him or abandon His promises altogether.

Talking About Me

Let me be clear when I say people I’m talking about me. I’m people. I thought that praying and waiting literally meant just that. I would pray about a thing, then wait for God to do something. So, I waited and waited. Nothing happened. I prayed again, thinking my prayer wasn’t good enough. Then nothing happened. This process was so frustrating. I decided my faith wasn’t strong enough. 

I prayed again, this time in faith.  Quoting scriptures, and writing declarations, I was so sure God would deliver this time. I was confident. But, nothing happened. Life went on as normal. The problem was that while I was praying and waiting, I wasn’t doing anything. All I did was serve in my church and community.   

Serving

Don’t get me wrong, you’re supposed to get involved in your local church and serve others while you wait. But isn’t that what I should be doing anyway? Regardless of if I’m waiting on God or not, shouldn’t I still be serving Him and His people? 

So, what now? I believe the “pray and wait” advice creates a mentality that the person praying and waiting only has to do these 2 things and whatever they want God will deliver. It makes God into this magical genie that gives you exactly what.

Prayer With Works Is Alive

I’m not discounting prayer or waiting. I believe that God will do what He said He will do. I also believe that I have to do my part. Prayer with works is alive. It’s time to stop placing all of the responsibility, and consequently the blame, on God. He gave us wisdom. He gave us discernment. Why aren’t we using it?  

Waiting is not just about serving. It’s also about expecting the Lord to move.  Waiting is about putting yourself in the position so that when God does move, you’ll be prepared to act. The question is, while you’re waiting in expectation, have you placed yourself in the position for your strength to be renewed? Are you ready to mount up like eagles? Are you ready to run and not get weary? Run and not faint? 

Just Do It

None of those things are passive. These things require movement on your part. Your job in the wait is to know that God will move on your behalf once you move, once you make your faith alive. He will renew your strength as you expect Him to do what He said. Don’t take this as an opportunity to do nothing. God will guide you.  Continue to trust Him.

I’m not against prayer or waiting. In fact, I believe that prayer is one of the most important things we can do. Prayer must spur us into action though. It’s in prayer that God gives us the action plan. It’s in prayer that He shows us what we can do. It’s up to us to actually do it. So, create a plan around that idea God gave you. 

Let’s pray and then act. You want to get married, date. You want to own a business, incorporate with the state. You want another job, start applying. Continue to pray and then be led by the Holy Spirit to move. Allow God to guide your decisions through prayer. His promises are still yes and amen! 

Thanks for following me on my single journey!

-Kim

Recommended Resources

https://www.gotquestions.org/wait-on-the-Lord.html

Related Articles

https://www.singleinchrist.org/?s=obedience

A Single Girl’s Guide to Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 8, 2019
valentine heart

So you’re single and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.  What are you going to do? How are you going to survive another Valentine’s Day being single? Are you going to pretend the day doesn’t exist? Will you stuff your face with food and hide out? You don’t have to do any of that. Here is a single girl’s guide to Valentine’s Day.

1. Date Yourself.

If you are confident and a little adventurous, put on that fancy dress and those heels and take yourself to that restaurant you’ve been dying to try.  Go see that movie that no one else will see with you. Get your nails and hair done. Look and feel as fabulous as you possibly can, then treat yourself to whatever makes you feel fancy.  Who says you have to wait on a man to take you on a date? You are already complete in Christ. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Girl, take yourself out. You deserve it.

2. Log Off of Social Media.

If  you are prone to feeling down or sad because you’re single around Valentine’s Day make sure you log off of social media.  Seeing those couples being lovey-dovey is one sure way to get you all in your feelings. So, just log off. You can log back on when all the Valentine’s Day posts and pictures die down. While you are off, spend some time doing something fulfilling. Read a book you’ve been wanting to read. Go exercise or talk to friends. Pray, meditate, and see what God wants you to do and what He wants to say to you. Take this time you usually spend on social media and just live your life. There is no reason you have to feel sad or lonely on Valentine’s Day.

3. Stop Comparing Yourself.

This goes hand in hand with number two. Looking at all those couples on Instagram or Facebook may have you thinking that you don’t measure up. Nothing is wrong with being single. Nor is it wrong to want companionship, but if you are looking at social media or people around you and pressuring yourself to get into a relationship then stop it. What usually happens when you compare yourself is that you either end up on the short end of the stick or you end up valuing yourself too highly. Neither of those are good for your soul or self-esteem. You must remember that you are enough within yourself.  You are doing this thing according to God‘s timing and it will work in your favor in the end. Your story will be beautiful too, even if it is taking a little longer than anticipated.

4. Go Out With Your Girls.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to get together with your girls and have a fun night out. This option is especially good for those who aren’t yet brave enough to go out alone. Take this time to catch up with some girlfriends you haven’t seen in a while.  Have dinner and see a movie. Go to a comedy club and just have plain good fun. You may just end up having more fun with your girls than you would with a valentine.

5. Do Not Go Out With Some Random Dude Just to Have a Valentine.

This is more of a don’t than a do, but it needs to be said all the same.  Dating a random is a bad idea because you probably don’t like him in the first place. Since you don’t like him, you probably won’t have a good time. As Christian singles we should really stick to dating quality men who we could possibly see a future with. Now I’m not saying you should evaluate men for marriage on the first date or even before the first date, but don’t go out with a random just to have a date on Valentine’s Day.  If a good man that meets your standards happens to ask you out, but all means go, but don’t let loneliness and desperation pressure you into dating a dusty, crusty, and lusty man.

6. Reflect on the Love You Already Have.

On Valentine’s Day we always default to the idea of romantic love or a lack thereof. In reality we are surrounded by an abundance of love. Reflect on the love of family, friends, or even children. Look at how loved and supported you have been just this year. Also reflect on the love that God has for you.  He has loved you and known you before you were even in your mother’s womb. Don’t forget to reflect on how much you love yourself. Look back on how far you’ve come. You’re pretty amazing. Remember who you are and how loved you truly are despite not having a man for Valentine’s Day.

7. Make a Plan for Companionship.

If you are tired of being alone on Valentine’s Day and you want this to be the last year that you do not have a valentine make a plan to not be single next Valentine’s Day. Evaluate your mindset. Do you have a mindset that would attract a quality man?  Who are you as a person? What are you attracted to? You may have to change your social habits. Maybe you need to make more female friends so that you can go out more. Pray that God reveals what’s really keeping you single. Once He reveals it to you make a strategic plan on how to overcome those obstacles so this can be the last year you’re single. Be sure to have realistic and measurable goals and ask for God’s help every step of the way. This could be the last Valentine’s day you spend without a man.

When it’s all said and done remember Valentine’s Day is just a day. You will get through this one like you have gotten through all the other ones. Valentine’s Day does not determine your self-worth or your value as a woman. The lack of romantic interest on Valentine’s Day does not diminish anything about you. You are still a strong, loving, and amazing woman. Keep pressing forward and remember to be led by the Holy Spirit in everything you do! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Insecurities

Posted on April 20, 2018

Ever since I was a small child I have struggled with insecurities. I don’t remember if it was one specific event or a series of events, but as far back as I can remember I’ve been very insecure. I remember thinking I was ugly and unwanted. I felt like if I disappeared no one would care or even be affected. I battled these feelings until my mid to late twenties.

As a result of my insecurities and feelings of worthlessness, I closed myself off. I became a loner and a people pleaser so that I wouldn’t get hurt. I never got too close to anyone because I didn’t want to feel the pain of rejection. The people I let get a little closer to me, I constantly tried to please.

I didn’t want my assumptions about people to be correct. I didn’t want to be hurt or rejected. The only way I knew how to not be hurt was to distance myself from people. I kept everyone at least an arm’s length distance from me. Which is just close enough for me to have the illusion of a relationship, but still far away enough that they wouldn’t know me enough to hurt me.

I felt like people never really understood me. But looking back, how could they? I was caught in this vicious cycle of longing for acceptance and understanding, but too fearful of the hurt to allow someone close enough to accept or understand me. This cycle went on for years. I just couldn’t seem to break it. In my early twenties, I accepted the fact that this would be my life.

Mind you I have been in church all of my life. I should have known the promises of God. I should have known what He thinks about me and how much He loves me. But I didn’t. That’s my own fault. I had access to the King and His kingdom my entire life but I didn’t take advantage. I didn’t put in the effort to simply enter in and experience His grace and loving mercy. I didn’t take the time to get to know God through our Savior and bask in His presence.

So I kept battling these insecurities and feelings of low self-esteem. Then came college. I thought that this would be the best opportunity for me to start over. I moved to a new place where people didn’t know me and I could hide how I really felt about myself. I put on a brave face and pretended like I was confident.

It worked for a while, at least I thought so. Looking back, I still had insecure tendencies. I still craved the acceptance of people. I still sought to please people in order to gain their approval. Those same thoughts and feelings were still lurking under the surface.

Though I presented to the world that I was confident, I think my new found freedom helped me to mask those feelings of insecurity better. No healing had taken place. No true deliverance occurred. I just became a master at pushing what I really felt down and away. I was living a facade.

Those deep-seeded feeling of insecurity and low self-esteem caused me to make bad decisions. I was making life decisions from a wounded place. My need for approval and my hurt and pain from perceived rejection got me into some pretty sticky situations. It’s only by the grace of God that I didn’t end up diseased, pregnant, or seriously injured.

By this time I’m nearing the end of college and I get into this relationship. I thought that this would be the answer to everything. I thought this relationship would finally heal me. Needless to say, it didn’t. The relationship only exposed my false confidence and it brought up all those insecurities I tried to hide. When someone wants to be that close to you, it’s hard to keep on the mask.

Fast forward five years and the relationship is over. I was alone, aloof, and distraught. I spiraled deeper and deeper into the already dark and discouraged recesses of my mind. I allowed those feelings to take a stronghold in my life and believed they were true. I believed what those thoughts said about me.

At this time when I envisioned my future, I saw a dark and lonely place. I saw a literal cloud hanging above me for the rest of my life. I didn’t think anything would ever lift me from this fog. I actually believed that there was no hope for me. That’s when I had my come to Jesus moment.

Through much prayer, tears, and counseling I learned how to fight against those thoughts. I learned that I don’t have to push the thoughts and feelings down. I have permission to feel. I can feel them and then push them away. Just because the thought came doesn’t mean it has to stay. I have control over what happens in my mind.

Though less frequent, the thoughts do still come. But instead of dwelling on them and believing them, I tell myself the truth about who I am and about whose I am.  I have a wall of affirmations that I say aloud every day. I put them up in my room, on my computer at work, and on my phone so that I have a constant reminder.

I admit I didn’t believe them at first. I had to say them with tears streaming down my face, but I still said them. I repeated these affirmations over and over until I received them in my heart. I often say them while I’m looking in the mirror because I need to see myself saying something positive about me. The affirmations remind me that I am somebody and my hope and confidence are in Jesus.

Here are a few of the affirmations I say daily:

I decree and declare that my words have power.

I believe that which I speak will manifest.

I speak with expectation.

I am more than a conqueror through Jesus.

I am smart, beautiful, and I make wise decisions.

I trust God and His timing.

I am happy, whole, and confident in the woman God has created me to be.

I am worthy.

I am valuable.

I am loved, loving, and lovable.

I have a lot more on my wall of affirmation. Reaching this point didn’t happen overnight. I started with a few affirmations that I would say and now I have 4 poster boards full. That old pain helped to push me into my purpose. It pushed me closer to God.

Your testimony may be different than mine, but I’m here to tell you that there is an after this. Seek God and He will provide healing and restoration. He rewards those that diligently seek Him. Your sense of self should not depend on what the world says you are or aren’t. Your self-esteem should only come from who you are in Christ.

Our Father,

Allow us to see who we are in You. Do not let us be fooled or tricked by the enemy. We believe what You say about us. We believe that we are etched in the palm of Your hand. We believe that we are loved and that nothing will ever separate us from Your love. We believe that You have deemed us worthy and valuable and that You do not lie. Thank You, God, for deliverance, healing, and restoration. Thank You, for making our stone hearts into flesh. Help us be confident in who we are in You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

Luke 12:7 (ESV)

Why even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Check out the latest podcast episode: Insecurities

Resurrection Weekend

Posted on March 30, 2018

There will be no official post this week. I challenge you to spend this Resurrection Weekend becoming more intimate with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. There are some scriptures listed below. Please take some time out this weekend to read them and know just how much Jesus sacrificed for us.

“As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples…’” Mark 16:5-7

“He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’” Luke 24:6-7

“He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.” Matt. 28:6

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he dies, yet shall he live,” John 11:25

“And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.”  1 Cor. 6:14

“We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.” Romans 6:4-5

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,” 1 Pet. 1:3

“For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” John 6:40

“For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.” 1 Thess. 4:14

“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.” Rom. 8:11

“For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last, he will stand upon the earth…” Job 19:25

“That you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.” Eph. 1:18-21

“That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,” Phil. 3:10

“He was buried, and he was raised from the dead on the third day, just as the Scriptures said.” 1 Cor. 15:4

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you.” 1 Pet. 1:3-4

“And with great power, the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all.” Acts 4:33

“Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.” Rom. 6:8-11

“And Jesus Christ our Lord was shown to be the Son of God when God powerfully raised him from the dead by means of the Holy Spirit.” Rom. 1:4

“Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised— who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.” Romans 8:34

“He will swallow up death in victory, and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces.” Isaiah 25:8

“For as by a man came death, by a man has come to the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ shall all be made alive.” 1 Corinthians 15:21-22

“We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.” Romans 6:9

“He was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.” Romans 4:25

“Having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through your faith in the working of God, who raised him from the dead.” Col. 2:12

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9*

 

 

 

 

*Taken from 25 Resurrection Scriptures to Celebrate: He Has Risen!

 

Online Dating

Posted on March 23, 2018

Is Online Dating wrong for Christians? Not necessarily. But, let me tell you my story.

Back in the summer of 2015 on the advice of some friends I joined an online dating site.
Before I joined I always said I don’t think I’m going to meet my husband online. I just never felt that way. I joined anyway.

I went on my first online date in the summer of 2015. Although I was super nervous, the date went well. He was a gentleman. He walked me to my car and pulled out my chair. After the date, we even continued to talk, but it eventually fizzled out.

After that, there were a series of guys I talked to online. Nothing really ever came from those interactions either. After talking to a guy and it not working out, I would always go back to feeling like I’m not even supposed to be online dating in the first place.

I felt like it was a distraction from what I was really supposed to be doing and a waste of time. Yet, I persisted. I wanted to give online dating a real shot because some of my friends met really good guys from online dating.

I mean really good Christian guys and some were even getting married to these men they met online.

Even though I persisted, I always had a little tugging in my spirit saying that this isn’t really for me. By this time it is late 2016. I tell myself that if I’m going to do this, I will try out a paid online dating site. So I take my profile down from the free site and pay real actual dollars to meet men online.

I met a few men, and I went on a date with 2 of them. The first one was bad.He basically said that all he wanted was sex. I said thanks for being honest but Nah.The next date I went on was the worst date of my life.

After that date, I decided to take a break. I took down every profile and sat myself down.Here are some lessons I learned from my experience of online dating:

Although online dating by itself is not sinful, it’s not for me.

1 Corinthians 10:23 says, “I have the right to do anything,” you say–but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”–but not everything is constructive.”

I could have been in a very different place in my life had I just listened to the Holy Spirit. There is no telling what my life would be like right now.

I’m not going to beat myself up about it though because Romans 8:1 says, “so now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.”

I’m not condemned for my mistakes. I’m forgiven and through God’s mercy and grace, I have another chance to do it right.
I learned to listen to and follow the direction of the Holy Spirit.

Galatians 5:16 says, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.”
Had I been following the direction of the Holy Spirit I would have saved myself some time, money, and headache.

Ultimately what I want is for God to be glorified in my waiting, dating, and marriage.
1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

I have to make sure that all of my decisions and actions give God the glory. That definitely wasn’t happening when I was online dating. My motive was to find a husband, not to glorify God.

So is online dating wrong?

Not necessarily. But for me, it is, at least for right now. As I said before, I’m deciding to be more open to whatever God has for me and if He tells me to go online then that’s what I’ll do.The most important thing is to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit and make sure God is getting the glory out of everything.

Online dating may not be wrong for you. But don’t try to match anyone else’s story. God has written a unique and amazing story for each and every one of us. They all don’t have to be the same.

Some may meet their husband or wife online, some may meet them at Walmart. Just follow God. He’ll tell you what’s right or wrong.

Our Father,

God, I come to You asking that I allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me into all truth. I ask that the desires of my heart match Your will for me. Let me not be distracted. Let every decision I make and every action I take be for Your glory. Thank You, God, for forgiveness. Help me to not relive old mistakes, but keep pressing forward in You.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

 

Check out my latest podcast episode: Is Online Dating Wrong?

 

 

 

Still Patiently Waiting…

Posted on March 2, 2018

I feel like giving up. Is all this really worth it? Everything is on my nerves. It seems like everyone else is getting exactly what they want and I’m over here waiting. Other people are living any kind of way and still getting promises. Is there something more I can do? I don’t want to hurry God along, but my goodness, He sure is taking His sweet time.

I’ve heard it all before. Those people seem like they have it all, but I don’t know the state of their soul. I don’t know what they had to do to get that. Well, you’re right. I don’t know the state of their soul, but they sure do look happy with those new cars, houses, and husbands. I don’t know what they’re doing to get all that, but I do know what I’m not doing and that I don’t have all that. They look like wives and mothers and I look like super-saved Sally. I’m exhausted. Maybe I’m doing too much or not doing enough. I don’t know.

I do know that blessings are not necessarily material things. I know that God also gives us spiritual blessings. But, sometimes I want the material things. It sounds bad, but it’s true. My focus should really be on pleasing God and seeking what He has for me to do in this waiting season. I’m sure my patience is being tested and I’ll have an awesome testimony on the other side of this. I’m just not feeling it right now.

I really appreciate all those people who waited 50 and 60 years for God to deliver His promise, but honestly, I don’t want that to be my testimony. God, can I be one of those ‘suddenly it happened’ people? I don’t want to have to wait forever. I know it’s whiny and selfish. I should be grateful for the way my life is right now. I am grateful for my life, mostly anyway. In the grand scheme of things, my waiting season hasn’t been that long. It just feels like it’s been forever.

I’m not just talking about marriage, house, and kids. I’m talking about whatever big or small thing is next. Whatever will take me out of this holding pattern. I know the waiting period has a purpose–to make sure I’m in a position to receive the next thing God has for me. That’s why I don’t understand how I got into this headspace. One day I just woke up and was tired of doing it all. Tired of being a leader. Tired of answering questions. Tired of being the poster child of a saved single woman. I want to quit.

I had to call on God. I told Him through prayer and journaling how I honestly feel. I want to wait with anticipation, expectation, and hope, but it’s hard right now. The problem is I don’t know why it’s so hard. Usually, I pray and read scripture, talk to God and some friends and I find encouragement. Usually, I am able to make it through this feeling. This time feels different. I really want to be grateful and obedient but it’s a real struggle right now.

I’m probably on the verge of some big breakthrough or receiving God’s promise. I feel like I’m hitting a wall and I’m just tired of everything. I want to stop everything. I know it’s my flesh rebelling against submitting to God. But again I ask, why now? Why do I feel this so strongly? I get like this from time to time and the only thing I can do is rely on God to renew my strength. His grace is sufficient and His power and strength are made perfect in my weakness. I gladly boast about how weak I’m feeling because I’m only making it through because of God’s power and strength.

I’m grateful that even this is working for my good. I don’t know how yet but I’m glad it is. I’m glad that I serve a God that gives me what I need when I need it. I’m so grateful that I can cry out to God and tell Him how I truly feel. I’m glad that I don’t feel the need to wear a mask and hide how I’m feeling. I’m thankful that God restores me and strengthens me. I’m happy that I can ask Him to help me with my unbelief.

I know that now is the time to press deeper into God, not run away. I have to trust Him now more than ever. I am totally relying on His strength. I cannot do this alone. I cannot rely on my feelings, I have to rely on my faith in Him. My faith tells me that Jesus is Lord and I have the Holy Spirit leading and guiding me. My feelings are telling me to quit everything and just do whatever I want to do.

Thank God, for His Holy Spirit. It’s a struggle, but I choose to crucify my flesh and follow Christ. I know what He has for me will be worth the wait. He didn’t bring me this far to leave me. I still love and trust Him, I just have to dig a little deeper to keep Him first. God is a promise keeper. God is faithful. I can’t lose sight of the promise. I don’t want anything less than what God has promised. I’ll just have to make sure that I’m grounded in God and constantly being led by the Holy Spirit. I’m not giving up, I’m still patiently waiting on the Lord.

 

Our Father,

Thank You, God, for my life as it is right now. Thank you that I am able to trust in You and You will renew my strength. Thank You, Father, that I can come to You with my honest feelings and thoughts. You give rest to the weary. I thank You for rest God. Help me to not compare my journey to the journey of others Lord. I believe that what You have for me will be worth the wait. Father, please remove every negative thought and feeling and help me to focus on You. Help me to renew my mind and crucify my flesh as often as necessary. Help me to think about things that are pleasing and worthy of praise. Help me to submit to You in every area of my life. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)

But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Check out my new podcast: Saved.

https://youtu.be/z2e3_raiVn4

 

Saved.

Posted on February 23, 2018

Single In Christ is a space for those who are single, saved, and patiently waiting. I don’t want to take for granted that everyone is saved or understands what salvation is. No matter what stage of life you are in, being in Christ and being saved will be the best decision you have ever made.

What does it mean to be saved? 

Being saved means you believe by faith that Jesus Christ lived, died, was resurrected, and now lives again for you.  You accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Once you believe, you are saved by God’s grace from eternal punishment from sin. Once you believe you receive the Holy Spirit and He seals you with a promise. That promise is that you’ll never be alone. The promise is that you now have a life beyond this earth. You now have the power to become a new person through Christ. You’re now free from sin and condemnation. You’ll always have a comforter, a guide, and an advocate. 

How does one become saved?

Acts 16:30-31 says, “Then he brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.” Salvation comes from first believing in Jesus. This means you believe he was born of the Virgin Mary. This means you believe that he was hung on a cross and died to atone for our sins. This also means that you believe that he rose and is now living with our Father in heaven. The only way to be saved and receive the grace and redemption available to us is to go through Jesus Christ. “Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

God is the only one who can save. “For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this not because we deserve it, but because it was His plan from the beginning of time–to show us His grace through Jesus Christ” (2 Timothy 1:9). Salvation is a free gift from God. He didn’t save us because we are so good or because we are so deserving. God sent Jesus to save us because God is good, kind, and gracious. We only receive salvation because of God’s grace. It’s up to us to accept His gracious offer of salvation.

How does one keep up salvation?

Once you’re saved you can now rely on God and His power to keep you. He sent His Holy Spirit to lead and guide you into all truth. God loves you. He wants to spend time with you. The way to keep up your salvation is to develop a close relationship with Him. Take all of your cares and worries to Him. You now have the power to change. You have a new life through the Holy Spirit. You will have to pray and seek God about what to remove from your life so that you can stay close to Him. Repent of any sins that will separate you from God. Join a church that teaches and preaches the real Word of God. Find a group of like-minded people who are living the way you want to live. You will have to study and read the bible so you know what God says for yourself. Remember that this is a journey. Life will still happen. You may fall short of God’s glorious standard. Just keep going and striving to do your best for God.  

What does living as a saved person look like?

There is a perception that saved people are old and boring. Salvation is not just for old people. Salvation is for everyone. You do not have to wait until you’re old to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.  Ecclesiastes 12:1 says, “Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.” Life in Christ is different from life in the world. Once you’ve accepted Jesus as your Savior then the things that you considered fun won’t have as much appeal. The things you pursued before Christ were only fun temporarily. The fun moments were fleeting. Eternity is what concerns Christ. Try God for yourself and “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8). It’s true that as a Christian you give up some things, but that does not mean life as a Christian cannot be fun. The difference is your motivation will be to please God and not please yourself. Your life will not be the same once you truly are saved. The things you talk about will change, the way you dress will change, your friends may even change. Don’t be discouraged, God has something better in store for you. Life as a Christian involves going to church, serving and lots of praying. You will be able to find joy and fun in the things of God. 

Christian life may not be easy, but it’s worth it. In John 16:33, Jesus said “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus Christ promised that he has overcome this world and its troubles. We don’t have to worry, He gives us peace when we are in Him. Receiving salvation grants you immediate access to Him.

If you are not saved and want to have full access to God through Christ, I urge you to read the prayer below aloud and invite God into your heart.

 

Our Father,

Thank you for the gift of salvation. I come to You asking to be saved. I believe that Jesus Christ died and rose again to save me from condemnation and to wash away my sins. I invite the Holy Spirit into my life to guide me. I receive Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I repent of all sins that will lead me away from You. I thank You, God, for your Son Jesus. I thank You, Jesus, for your love and sacrifice. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

Titus 3:5

He saved us, not because of the righteous thing we have done, but because of His mercy. He washed away our sins giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 2:8

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.