Category:

Faith

Temptation: A Bible Study

Posted on February 1, 2019

As I re-enter the dating world and embark on this sort of new adventure, I want to have the right mindset. I want to make sure that I’m putting on the mind of Christ and keeping God first. So I decided to do a bible study. And what better place to start than with the life and works of Jesus in Matthew?

As I read and studied my way through the book of Matthew, the first 11 verses of chapter 4 captured me. These verses deal with the temptation of Jesus in the wilderness. Since I was so struck by these verses, I want to share what I have learned.

Jesus Is Tested in the Wilderness

Matthew 4:1 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

  1. We can be in the will of God and be led by the Holy Spirit and still end up in the wilderness facing temptation.
  2. It seems like in the will of God, this shouldn’t happen. Why would He lead me into the wilderness to be tempted? Because it’s a test.
  3. God doesn’t tempt, He tests us. The enemy is the one who tempts.
  4. God knew all along what was going to happen.
  5. What is temptation?
    1. Enticement to sin
    2. Sinful thoughts
    3. Troubles
    4. Afflictions
    5. Rebellious spirits

There’s a Way Out

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

  1. The temptation you are facing has been faced by others (common to mankind)
  2. God is faithful
    1. Trustworthy
    2. Reliable
    3. Deliverer of promises
  3. Promise: He will not let you be tried beyond what you can bear
    1. He will not give up on you or leave you alone
    2. He will not give you more than you can handle (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually)
  4. 2nd Promise: But with the trial will also provide a way out
    1. God will make, produce, cause, or prepare a way of escape, an end to the trial/temptation.
  5. So that you may be able to endure it
    1. He will place you on His shoulders and support you so that you can endure the adversity.

Let’s Go Back to Jesus’ Example on How to Find the Way Out

Matthew 4:2 -3 After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

  1. He was tempted where He was weak. He was hungry and he was tempted with food.
  2. The temptation was for a need. He was legitimately hungry, but the devil wanted to Him to fill his legitimate need in an illegitimate way.
  3. Example in the dating world: you have a legitimate need for companionship because God didn’t create us to be alone. However, the temptation comes in because we try to meet that legitimate need in illegitimate ways like fornication or seriously dating people that we know doesn’t give God glory.

Matthew 4:4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ”

  1. Jesus didn’t rely on His own strength to face the temptation, He relied on the Word of God. That’s how He remained victorious over sin.

The Tempter Keeps Coming

Matthew 4:5-7 Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple.“If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’ ” Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ ”

  1. The enemy tried different tactics to get Jesus to slip up. Jesus remained steadfast and only answered with the truth of God.
  2. This also shows how important it is to know the Word of God for yourself. How can we competently and effectively defeat the enemy if he knows more of God’s Word than we do? Which is why Bible study is so important.

Matthew 4:8 -11 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.” 1Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’ “1Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

  1. Here, the devil showed Jesus something God had already given him; all power. Jesus already knew His purpose and what He had in God. We must know what God has already given us and put inside us in order to escape temptation.
  2. Again, the enemy is trying to get Jesus to obtain God’s promises in an illegitimate way.
  3. Jesus conquered temptation and was ready to pursue the purpose God has set before Him.

Major Takeaways

The major takeaways for me are that even in God’s good and perfect will, I’ll face temptation. But I don’t have to worry because there is no temptation that others haven’t faced, including Jesus. I can defeat every trial and temptation thrown at me by relying on God’s strength and truth and not my own strength. The temptation isn’t a one-time thing. It’s the enemy’s job to keep coming at me. However, God is faithful, he won’t let me endure more than I can bear.

What are some of your takeaways? Let me know in the comments and remember to be led by the Holy Spirit in all you do!

Celibacy Blues

Posted on January 26, 2019

I have been abstinent since 2013. I’m abstinent because I believe it pleases God.  Although, that hasn’t always been the case. Until recently, my celibacy journey has been more about me, than about pleasing God. Let me explain.

Feeling Alone

I’m a big believer in having a community of people that are like-minded and can encourage you. I have that community. There are people around me that keep me going and keep me headed in God’s direction when things get tough.

One of the things we encourage each other with is remaining abstinent until marriage.

Lately, however, some of my friends have told me that they aren’t abstinent. Some have even told me that they were never abstinent.

Why are so many people are succumbing to sexual temptation? I felt alone. Am I the only one left not having sex? Who’s left in my circle that can stand with me?

Of course, I know that I’m not alone. I know there are people just like me who want to honor God with their bodies.

This is not a condemnation against anyone having sex. But it did make me reflect on my values as it pertains to sex and why I’m celibate.

Celibacy as a Character Trait

Do I think I’m holier because I don’t have sex? Do I attribute my abstinence to being a good person? Do I want a reward because I’m not having sex?

The answer to all of those questions was a resounding YES!

I waved my abstinence flag around like a badge of honor. I wore it proudly so I could seem better than others. That way I could say I really am a God-fearing woman.

Being celibate is not a character trait. It only means that I have enough discipline to not have sex. It definitely doesn’t make me better than anyone else.

It’s so funny how God works. I went to Him to pray for my friends and their journey, and He ended up revealing my heart issues to me.

The Real Reason

Not only had I esteemed myself as better and, let’s be honest, a little holier, I thought that being celibate would get me what I wanted, i.e., marriage, faster.

I thought to be a “good girl” and to follow all the rules, would somehow convince God that I was worthy of marriage.

What in the world was I thinking?

Looking at the speck in my friend’s eye when I had a beam sticking out of my own eye.

Celibacy is only the outward display of self-control. But where was my heart? Why did I compare myself to others and feel like I should be either ahead or feel like I was behind?

Lessons Learned

My story is my story. Comparing what I’m doing or not doing to anyone else will not help me.

I used to hold out my celibacy like I’m so good. Surely God will reward me. My motives weren’t pure. I was not doing it to please God. It was to please myself.

Problem is, being this so-called good girl still didn’t make men act right. I didn’t get married any faster. It was a persona I put on to control and manipulate.

I thought abstinence would attract a certain type of man. It did attract quality men, but it also attracted men who had my same heart issues.

Genuine people who wanted something real saw right through it.

I also used celibacy to protect my heart. It was my shield. I could hide behind it. I’d blame it for things not working out the way I wanted.

I would use it as a deterrent. I would wave my abstinence flag and say, look at what I’m doing. You aren’t worthy! Be gone!

How could this type of behavior glorify God?

What’s the point in me being celibate if my heart isn’t right or if I don’t embody Christ?

There’s no point in not having sex if I judge people who do. If I look down on others for sinning differently and not being as holy as I pretended to be.

Thank God for deliverance. He showed me who I really am.

A Real Change

A friend recently told me that prayer not only changes things, but it also changes us as we hope and stand on faith.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still strong in my resolve. I don’t intend to have sex until I’m married. I’m also not going to think of myself more highly than I ought to.

God is gracious and patient with us. He’s allowed my faith to grow in Him as I continue to seek Him in prayer. My hope is now in Him instead of my ability to abstain from sex.

Examine your hearts. Are you practicing celibacy because you want to please God, or because you feel like it will get you what you want?

Go to God, He’ll definitely tell you.

Thank you for joining me on my journey as a single in Christ and remember to be led by the Holy Spirit in everything you do!

My Story

Posted on January 18, 2019

Today I want to tell you a little more about me. It’s only been 1.5 years since I have really accepted myself. It has taken most of my life to believe that I was beautiful or worthy of love. This has been a long journey, so let’s go back to the beginning.

The Beginning

When I was a little girl, I never really thought about my physical appearance. I imagine I was like most other little girls. My only concerns were making sure I did what I had to do so I could go play and have fun.

I spent my summer days with my grandmother. One summer day when I was around 8 years old, my care-free days came to a crashing halt.

Some event was taking place that day and the entire family was at my grandmother’s house. I ran into her house, happy yet exhausted from a full day of playing outside.

I don’t remember what I was doing or saying. Nothing stands out in my mind as to why my close adult relative pulled me to the side and called me fat and ugly.

I do remember how I felt just after hearing those words; crushed. My feelings were really hurt. I told another adult and the response was, well lose weight then.

What I heard was, you are ugly, but at least you can change it.

I must deserve this. If two grown people think this it must be true. What I feel about myself no longer matters.

The Result

Several things happened in that moment.

  1. I believed it.
  2. My feelings weren’t validated.
  3. I began to internalize things and not speak.
  4. I stopped believing the positive things people said about me.
  5. My cycle of low self-esteem and self-worth began.
  6. I felt unloved.

The Cycle Begins

From that point on, I literally hated looking in the mirror. I felt bad that other people had to look at me.

So as I matured and become a teenager, imagine my surprise when I notice boys are starting to look at me. By this point, I was so desperate for validation, I take to whoever calls me beautiful.

I choose who to date based on how beautiful they think I am. So starts the cycle of me choosing the wrong men.  I required them to spend all of their time with me. They had to constantly tell me how pretty I was. That’s how I felt love.

If they didn’t affirm me it was a problem. I needed constant validation. Why were they with me? What else did I have to offer?

It didn’t matter that I had graduated from law school and passed the bar by the age of 24. My accomplishments meant nothing because of how I viewed myself.

How I looked or dressed didn’t matter because what was the point? I just didn’t care. After the end of my 5-year relationship I hit rock-bottom.

Although I knew I couldn’t marry him, I had thoughts that no one will ever want me again. I’m still not pretty enough, I’m still not valuable enough. No one cares about what I think, feel, or what I have to say.

Healing

Then my true healing began. I have talked about this period a lot, but I never shared the impetus of the pain. That’s why I’m quiet. That’s why I pushed people away. I’m glad God showed the root cause, so I can heal properly.

This is what led me to God and to Him affirming me and validating me. It still took some time for me to really believe that I was valuable and loved.

I constantly prayed for God to love me, not knowing that He always had and always will. That nothing will separate me from His love. I prayed for things that I already had.

That’s why I say feelings aren’t facts. It took me until I was almost 32 years old to feel confident in myself. To know that I don’t need the validation of others to function.

My voice matters and what I have to say is important. It took me to do a podcast and blog to realize that people do want to hear what I have to say.

My confidence doesn’t come from anyone else. It only comes from God.

The Other Side

It was a long and painful process, but I made it. I am decidedly on the other side. Praise God!

Now I don’t have to make decisions from a broken place. I choose who to date based not on how good they think I look but based on their character.

While I appreciate compliments, I don’t need them anymore. I truly desire a a man who will love God more than he will ever love me. I realize that it’s not all about me.

The confidence I have now, God gave it to me. He gave me a peace and love that I have never known before. I’m excited to see what God has in store because it can only get better from here.

Remember to be led by the Holy Spirit in everything you do!

-Kim

    Maybe It’s You…

    Posted on October 13, 2018

    Maybe it’s you. Let’s consider for a moment that you are the reason you are single. Maybe it’s not because all men or women are trash. Maybe it’s not God. Maybe we are blocking our own blessings.

    Let me get personal for a minute. Maybe I’m the reason I’m single. I have to take an honest look at myself. In which areas could I improve?

    I’m a horrible flirter. I take things too literally. I often can’t tell when someone is interested in or flirting with me. I give direct answers to flirty questions. I always think people are being nice, not flirty.  Men walk away without my number assuming I wasn’t interested. My friends have to tell me when someone flirting with me.

    I don’t really go out. Most of the time I’m tired from work or church and when I get some time to myself, I want to spend it resting. How can I meet someone when I’m at home alone so much?

    Do I even really know what I’m looking for in a future spouse. I always say things like he should have a good sense of humor and be a man of God, but what do those things really mean?

    Do I want him to be funny or just know how to take a joke? Do I just want him to go to church or do I want him to have a relationship with Christ?

    Am I still bitter from past relationships? Do I make the new men pay for what the old man did? Have I really forgiven my ex like I thought I did? I still have trust issues. I’m not sure I believe that a man will be faithful.

    Let’s go a bit deeper. Am I being obedient to God’s word and His will? Does my daily walk look like I’m a follower of Christ? Am I willing to serve and be supportive?

    Can I be selfless and forgiving? Am I prepared to let someone else have a say in my decisions other than God?

    Or maybe I’m fantastic and I just haven’t met the right man yet. Either way, I want to remove everything that will keep me out of God’s will.

    I am going to be a full participant in my marriage and I don’t want anything in me to hinder it. Moreover, I don’t want anything in me to hinder any blessing God has for me.

    So, I’m taking the last quarter of 2018 to focus on becoming whole. I still desire marriage. By focusing on my own healing, wholeness, and deliverance I’ll just be better prepared for it.

    I’m not perfect and I’m not expecting my husband to be either. I am going to keep pushing to be a better version of me though. Not for my husband, but to please God. I want everything He placed in me to be poured out.

    I believe it’s time for us to focus on becoming whole and satisfied by ourselves. God is faithful even in our singleness. After all, the goal isn’t marriage. The ultimate goal is to get to heaven and I’m determined to get there.

    Watch the latest podcast episode: Why Celibacy?

    Birth of Single In Christ

    Posted on September 28, 2018

    My 33rd birthday was three days ago and every year when my birthday rolls around I take some time to reflect on the past year.  I thought my life would look so different by now.

    10 years ago when I was 23, I thought the next decade would see a great marriage,  beautiful home, and nice cars. What I didn’t take into account was God‘s plan for my life. I didn’t know He had Single In Christ in store for me.

    I started Single In Christ about one year ago because God put a burden and passion in my heart for single people. I feel like single people need encouragement from someone who is currently single.

    I understand the appeal of seeking advice from married people. They are where we want to be. While I thank God for our married brothers and sisters, sometimes they are just a little too far removed from single life.  Or they haven’t been single as long as some of us that are currently single. I thought if I need a different type of encouragement, then other people would too.

    As I was praying and asking God exactly what He wanted me to do, I got the answer to start a blog called Single In Christ. I was really hesitant to do it at first. I was afraid of being branded as the single girl (though I am). I was afraid that starting Single In Christ was akin to me saying I want to be single forever (which I don’t).

    I was fearful that I’d have to commit to being single for a really long time (which I also don’t want).  I didn’t want to have to think about being single all the time or seem like I’m complaining about it. Although I celebrate those people who get married after several decades of singleness, I do not want that to be my testimony.

    I also knew I couldn’t be led by my fears. I knew if God was telling me to do something I just had to trust Him enough to do it. In spite of all that, I still created Single In Christ, with God’s help.

    Single In Christ started as a blog and is now a 2018 Gospel Image Award nominated video podcast.  God has really moved and I am glad I trusted Him. Through Single In Christ, He has blown my mind.

    This time last year I said I wanted to feel accomplished.  Looking back, I’m proud to say that I do feel accomplished. I did something God told me to do. Prayerfully this ministry has persuaded at least one person to live for God. I’m diligently saving to buy a house.  I’ve changed my career path slightly. I’m sure of my purpose and what I’m supposed to do next. I’m more confident in how I see myself and how God sees me.

    Yet I’m still single. I know God will give me what I need when I need it, but honestly, keeping the faith is a struggle. The wait is frustrating. Each day I’m relying on God and figuring out how to wait. So until His promise comes, I’ll keep getting closer to God. I’m confident that I will get married.

    I’ll rest assured in Him knowing that his grace is sufficient. I don’t have to worry or be anxious about anything because God‘s got me. Until I get every promise I’m going to keep holding on to the joy and peace God gave me. I’m going to be happy right now.

    I’m going to take comfort in the fact that next year I’ll be a better person and even more secure in God. I trust him enough to wait and work on me in the process. So as you’re reflecting on your personal new year don’t forget to celebrate your successes and remember that God is still good.

    Our Father,

    Thank You for a new season. Let me grab hold of everything You have for me. Help me to be more like You. Let me recognize every blessing You have for me. Help me to keep pressing forward. Thank You that my latter shall be greater. Thank You for showing Yourself strong and mighty in my life. I will continue to trust You.

    In Jesus’ name,

    Amen.

    Philippians 4:4-7 (NLT)

    Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

     

    Check out the latest podcast episode: Birth of Single In Christ

    Onward and Upward

    Posted on August 18, 2018

    Remember, though things conspire and seek to destroy me, God has a plan to work it all for my good. Though I may be walking on thin ice, I know God’s got me. His ways are higher than mine. I don’t have to worry or be afraid. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. Jesus has already conquered the world and rose with all authority. What do I have to fear? Of whom shall I be afraid?

    Satan has no authority over me. My help comes from the hills, from Jesus Himself. If He provides for the birds of the air and flowers in the field, won’t He also provide for me? So I will pray about everything and worry about nothing. I will give thanks. His grace is always sufficient to cover me and get me through. I will rest in God’s authority and ability. I need You, God to make it. God, You must be glorified in every aspect of my life.

    I must die to myself so that Christ can live in me. Holy Spirit give me ears to hear what the Lord says. Forgive me Father for not always doing things Your way. I want Your will for my life. Help me to honestly repent and change my mindset. Help me to let go of those sinful things to which I desperately cling. Empty me out and fill me up with You. I want to live a holy life.

    Whatever comes with attaining holiness, I accept with pleasure. Whether it’s a trial or a blessing, I will count it all joy. I know You will fortify me. You are my rock, my sword, and my shield. I will put on the armor of God and stand as You command. It is not in my own strength that I can do this. It’s only in yours that I am able to do anything.

    Tha accuser is conquered by the blood of the Lamb, the word of my testimony, and by me not loving my own life unto death. I will move onward and upward. In You, God, that is the only place I can go.

    In Jesus’ name

    Amen.

    Keep The Faith Part 2

    Posted on July 20, 2018

    Last week I posted about an encounter I had with an older woman who lost her faith in being married. The reason her story resonated with me is that I was once in that place. My faith in God wavered in many areas especially the area of getting married.

    I feared that I would marry the wrong person. I convinced myself that I would marry an unfaithful man that really didn’t like me. I couldn’t shake the fear that I would marry this awful man who fooled me in the beginning and then revealed his true nature after marriage.

    I thought if this is what I’m destined for, why get married at all? Why should I hope and have faith in God for something that would destroy me? I decided to just be that great friend who is always single or that fantastic aunt that gives her nieces and nephews the best gifts because she didn’t have any kids of her own.

    I suspect the fear came from past relationships where I felt it started out wonderfully, then turned horrible. I couldn’t see anything else for myself. I forgot that faith isn’t about what I see. That fear developed into doubt. I didn’t trust God. I didn’t believe He could do what He promised.

    I convinced myself that I didn’t even want a husband or kids. There weren’t any male prospects around me. I felt really lonely and bad about myself. I lost hope. I stopped praying because I didn’t think God heard me. I honestly thought He was punishing me for mistakes I made in the past. Instead of turning to God and casting my cares on Him so He can exalt me at the proper time, I turned to myself. I created a vision for my life that didn’t include the will of God.

    I lost hope for the better part of a year. I literally felt like His grace left me. I felt like I was on my own, forever. It was a terrible feeling.  I doubted Him and forgot His promises. I forgot that He told me that I will be a wife and mother. I forgot He told me that grace is a gift from Him that I can’t earn. I forgot that nothing can separate me from His love. I forgot that the will of God is pleasing, good, and perfect. I forgot that the blessings of the Lord make me rich and won’t give me any sorrow.  I lost sight of Him. I allowed my emotions to rule me.

    Instead of loving God with all of my mind, heart, and soul, I loved only myself. I put on the appearance of a Christian without living the lifestyle. I know all the churchy buzzwords to make it seem like I’m fantastic. Thank God that He knows my heart. He knew the pain and hopelessness I felt. He restored me. He gave me an unshakable faith in Him by sending people to speak life over me.

    He sent His people to remind me of His promises. He told me that marriage is in His will for my life. He told me that I will be happy and loved. He told me that I am lovable. He told me that I will be a mother. He told me that He didn’t give me the spirit of fear. I chose to believe Him. I asked Him for forgiveness and to renew my mind. Renewal is a process.

    I still have to tell myself daily that I trust in the Lord and in His timing. I still have to tell myself that I am a wife and mother. Notice that I use the present tense. I have to see myself as God sees me. He sees my entire future and I believe that in His perfect timing I will be a wife and mother. I believe that I am and will be happy.

    I see now that loving and trusting God is a daily (or more often) choice. I choose to trust Him. I choose to pray and be honest about how I’m feeling. I choose to have daily affirmations that remind me of His promises for my life. I choose to remain in fellowship with those that speak life over me and remind me to keep God first.

    If you have ever lost hope, my prayer is that this encourages you to seek God. Be honest with how and why you’re feeling the way you are. God hasn’t left you. He’s not punishing you for anything. I pray you are able to feel how much He loves you. I pray He sends angels to encircle you and encourage you. I pray that you surround yourself with people who will speak life into you if you’re struggling to believe. I’m a living witness that you can be restored. Your faith can increase. I pray that you are encouraged and continue to keep the faith.

    Heavenly Father,

    I praise You in advance for Your will being done in our lives. Thank You for every promise that You have spoken over us. I choose to cast down doubt and fear and live in the power and love that You have given us. I choose to trust You, Lord. I choose to seek You diligently. I choose to put You first in every area of my life. Renew our mind,  Lord. Help us to have the attitude and mind of Christ. Thank You Holy Spirit, for leading and guiding us into all truth. 

    In Jesus’ name,

    Amen. 

    Mark 11:22-24 (NIV)

    22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

    Keep the Faith

    Posted on July 13, 2018

    I was speaking with an older woman who had given up the hope of ever getting married. She thought she should have been married at her age. She kept believing and hoping in God for the majority of her life, but as the years kept passing, with no real prospect in sight, she eventually lost hope. She now believes that she will never be wife or mother.

    Several people, including me, tried to encourage her and tell her to keep the faith. We told her that God is faithful and just to deliver His promises. We told her losing hope gives one a pessimistic viewpoint on everything. Although she listened to our words of encouragement, I could tell that we had not changed her mind. She had lost hope. She had given up.

    As this realization dawned on me, I couldn’t help but wonder, what happens to her now? What happens to people who lose their faith in God? What happens to God’s plan for their life? Is there any way that faith can be restored?

    To answer these questions, I first looked at what faith is. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” I’m sure most of us have heard that scripture our entire lives and can even quote it, but what does it really mean?

    Having faith really boils down to trusting God. Faith is having a confident expectation, a forward look with assurance. Faith is an expectation of a desire and proof of things we cannot yet see. Faith requires a person to wait in expectancy. Faith requires a person to have righteous desires and have the assurance that those desires will come to pass.

    Faith isn’t just about believing God for certain things, it’s about believing that God is real and that He is who He says He is. Hebrews 11:6 says, “Now without faith it is impossible to please Him, for the one who approaches God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him.”

    God is not pleased with those who do not have faith. He rewards those who through faith seek Him. By losing hope in God, you risk His displeasure with you. John 15:6 says, “If anyone does not remain in me, he is thrown out like a branch, and dries up; and such branches are gathered and thrown into the fire, and are burned up.” I certainly don’t want to experience God’s displeasure. I’m sure you don’t either, so be sure to faithfully remain in God.

    God’s plan continues with or without you. Matthew 25 contains the parable of the talents. The master gives three people a sum of money, leaves, and does not tell them when He is returning. Two of the three make more money, but one is fearful and hides the money. When the master comes back, he commends the two, but about the one he says, “Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” (Matthew 23:28-29)

    If your faith in God is lost, you cannot be obedient and you cannot remain in His will. You will lose out on the promises He has for you. They will be given to those who are faithful and obedient. God’s plan will be realized (Isaiah 55:11) so it’s best for you to be part of His plan.

    It’s possible to restore faith in God because faith is a gift from God. It doesn’t come from works, it cannot be earned, it comes through grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). If you have lost faith repent, ask God for forgiveness, and ask Him to renew your mind. It’s not too late to start operating in faith instead of fear. Learn to lean on God and expect Him to come through for you. Don’t give up on God, He will never give up on you.

    Our Father,

    Thank You for increasing our faith in You. Help us to see You as strong and mighty. Holy Spirit bring to our memories every time that God has delivered on His promises. Help us to remember that God does not lie and His word does not return to Him void. Let us walk in expectation and have a confident assurance that God will do what He said He would do.

    In Jesus’ name,

    Amen.

     

    Matthew 17:20 NET

    “He told them, “It was because of your little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; nothing will be impossible for you.”

    Settling

    Posted on May 19, 2018

    Single people in Christ are often told to not settle for less. We are told to accept nothing less than God’s best for our lives. Be it a potential partner or a career opportunity, how do we know what God’s best is for us? How can we make certain that we aren’t settling?

    Everything we need is in God’s presence. In His presence, we will find victory, provision, protection, and discernment. Once we start to spend more and more time with God we get to know Him and He will reveal things to us. He will show us how to proceed with whatever opportunity presents itself. He will show us who is sent from Him and who is sent from the enemy.

    Spending time with God requires intentionality. It also requires more than just going to church. Going to church is great, but how well can we know someone we only spend two hours with per week? How can we get to know God if the only time we spend with Him is on Sunday morning? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing anyone who does this, but like all things, in life, we get out what we put in.

    We must honestly assess what we’re putting into our relationship with God. Are we sincere and genuine with Him? Are we really submitting ourselves to Him like we should? As we grow closer to God there is no way we could settle for anything less than His best. He will show us what He has for us. He will also give us the power and strength to work towards His promises until they manifest.

    Spending time with God adjusts our expectations. We will begin to see the world and people through Him. We will start to put on the mind and attitude of Christ. Jesus’ purpose on Earth was to glorify the Father by obeying God. That should be our mindset as well. We have to make sure that we are doing what God told us to do and the rest will come.

    We have to be faithful and dedicated to fulfilling the reason we’re put on the Earth. We all have a purpose. Abiding in God and spending time with Him will lead you to your purpose. As we start seeing things from God’s perspective our expectations will shift. We may go from having a list of 100+ things for a potential spouse to 10 things because we’re now looking for things that are more spiritual than physical.

    We need standards and guidelines for dating and/or courting. God gives us those standards in the bible. He will provide what we need when we need it. I truly believe that when we dwell in His presence, obey, trust, and wait on Him, we will get our every heart’s desire. We have to hold tight to Him and His promises. We must not get weary for we will reap if we faint not. (Galatians 6:9)

    This journey isn’t easy. If it was, the whole world would be following Christ. We have to remember who we are. We have to remember that we are royalty and co-heirs with Christ. We will have to say no sometimes. We will have to watch others get what we desire, all because we refuse to settle for less than God’s best. It may get painful or lonely at times, but I know it’s worth it. God will comfort and keep us. I know that whatever God has promised will come to pass.

    Don’t give up. Serving God has its rewards. Keep sowing seeds of goodness and kindness. Keep spending time with Him and asking what His will is for your life. Be intentional. Take it one day at a time. Keep striving to be the better person God has called us to be. When we’re in Him and know what He has for us, the only way we settle is if we give up and stop believing what He has for us will come. Keep fighting. Keep working. Know that we’re all in this together and we’re fighting right beside one another.

    Encourage one another along this Christian journey. Pray for each other. If you see a fellow sister or brother struggling, reach out and build them up; say an encouraging word. Remind everyone and yourself to remain faithful and to take God at His word. It’s hard not to settle for what’s in right front of us. Remember your purpose and keep God’s standards in the forefront of your mind. Ask God for wisdom. He will give it to us. He has a plan for us. He has the plan to prosper and not harm us. He has the plan to give us a future and hope. (Jeremiah 29:11) Keep going and don’t settle. It’ll be worth it.

     

    Our Father,

    Thank You, God, for helping us put on the mind of Christ. Help us to live for You and put You first. We know that by putting You first, everything else will be given to us. We ask You for wisdom, instruction, and understanding God. We also ask for an extra measure of patience and faith. Help us to not lose hope. You told us not to worry about tomorrow, God. Let us find the strength in You to just trust You and not worry. Thank You, God, for revealing Your truth to us. Help us to wait on You and not settle for less than Your best.

    In Jesus’ name,

    Amen.

    Matthew 6:31-34 (NIV)

    31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

     

    Check out the latest podcast episode: Are you settling?

     

    To Approach or To Not Approach?

    Posted on April 27, 2018

    We all know that faith without works is dead. So when it comes to entering a relationship, how much work are we as Christian women supposed to put in? Should we approach men? There are two schools of thought on the subject. Some people say it’s the man’s role to initiate and the woman’s role to respond. Others say that there’s nothing wrong with a woman initiating conversation or even asking a man on a date.

    The problem with the former is that single Christian women are often frustrated with men that never initiate. Several of my girlfriends and I find it frustrating to have a man basically stare you down but never approach. The problem with the latter school of thought is that women should not pursue men. But is it really pursuing a man by initiating contact? It can get tricky.

    There are all kinds of statistics and studies on why women should approach men but we are called to live by a different standard. What does God have to say about it? Is it sinful for a Christian woman to approach a Christian man?

    The New Testament doesn’t really offer much in the way of dating advice. There is, of course, Ephesians 5 which encourages husbands and wives to submit to each other and sets out God’s design for leadership. The husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23). God wants the man to be the leader, but this verse speaks specifically to husbands and wives. What about single women? Are we supposed to let men lead in the dating world too?

    The Old Testament does have some courting and marriage stories. The two that stuck out to me was Rebekah and Ruth. Rebekah’s story begins with Abraham wanting a wife for his son Isaac. Abraham sent his servant to find a wife and while the servant was traveling he asked God for a sign. He asked God that the woman to be Isaac’s wife offer him water and offer to water his camels.

    This is significant because the servant had 10 camels with him and thirsty camels can drink up to 25 gallons of water. When the servant came to the well he asked Rebekah for some water. She said yes and offered to water his camels too. Rebekah didn’t initiate contact but she was kind and showed her true servant’s heart. Although the was very beautiful, it was her heart that ultimately won over the servant.

    Ruth’s story begins with her being a widow and going back to Naomi’s, her mother-in-law, hometown. Because they had no male relative to take care of them, they were practically destitute. Ruth gleaned from the fields of Boaz so that she could eat. Boaz saw how hard she was working and. Told the men in the field to leave her alone. It is discovered that Boaz is their kinsman-redeemer so Naomi urged Ruth to dress up and go lay on the threshing floor with Boaz. Though this seems like Ruth is approaching Boaz for marriage, what she was really doing was asking for protection from poverty, which was Boaz’s responsibility. Her request just so happened to result in marriage.

    So what now? Should Christian women initiate contact or not? I think the number one thing to do, in all circumstances, is to be led by the Holy Spirit and glorify God in everything you do. What we learn from Rebekah and Ruth is to be loyal, faithful, and kind-hearted. Those characteristics ultimately got them married. We also learn that their intentions were pure. Their interactions with the men weren’t for the purpose of starting a relationship.

    There is nothing sinful with initiating contact by saying hello or smiling at a potential mate. Letting someone know through a wave or kind word that you’re open for conversation is perfectly fine. I personally would never ask a man out because I feel that blurs the line of pursuit. I don’t want to be in the position to continually have to initiate every date or contact. I think the man should show some leadership skills if we are dating with the purpose of marriage in mind.

    Rebekah and Ruth didn’t do anything extraordinary to meet their husbands. They were out living their lives and doing what they probably did every day. Rachel was getting water from the well. Ruth was getting some food to eat. Their loyalty, generosity, and hard work led to their marriages. The men noticed something different about them through their everyday actions.

    If you desire marriage, get serious about doing our Father’s business. Figure out the purpose He’s placed on your life and get busy. While you’re out serving or just in the regular course of your day, there’s no telling who you’ll meet. Arrange a group dinner with men and women. Be deliberate about who you invite. Strike up conversations about everything. Get some good eye contact in. Be open, be kind, and follow God. He’s sure to give you the desires of your heart.

     

    Our Father,

    I pray Your will be done in my life. Thank You for allowing me to serve You. I consider it a privilege and an honor. I trust You, God. I believe that Your promises are yes and amen. I believe that Your faithful promises are my armor and protection. Help me to give You all of my cares, worries, and frustrations. Help me to wait on and trust in You, Lord. I pray that my husband seeks You and is led by You. I pray that my husband exhibits leadership qualities and surrenders his will to Yours. Thank You for already arranging the day we will meet. Help us to live a life pleasing to You. Help us to live according to Your commands. Let our meeting, courtship, and marriage glorify You, God.

    In Jesus’ name,

    Amen.

     

     

    Watch the latest podcast episode: Approachable