Category:

Encouragement

Why Am I Still Single?

Posted on December 8, 2017

I’m still single because I am a happy, whole, and confident woman. I am complete by myself and I am totally satisfied waiting on whomever God has for me. I refuse to settle for just any old person. I want the fullness of God’s promises and that includes whomever I marry.

Now that the holiday season is upon us, this is the answer I give to all of those nosy well-meaning relatives.  It’s always asked with such disdain as if something is wrong with me. So, I came up with an answer that would allow them to know I’m not afflicted with some rare disease. I’m satisfied being single.

While that answer sounds good and is essentially true, I can’t help but wonder what’s the hold-up? What is this waiting period really for? Have I missed the person I was to marry? Am I causing this period to be longer than necessary? Or is it that God has some great destiny for me and I need this time to define myself? 

In all honesty, the answer is it’s a lot of me and a little of God. Maybe I messed up with the person I am supposed to be with because I was in my flesh and didn’t find him attractive. I probably held on too long to unforgiveness and it turned to bitterness and no one finds that attractive. I may not have let my heart be as open to love as it could have been.

God has some work to do on me and I’m willing to let Him do it. So, I do need this time to become better. Yes, I’m complete, whole, and happy but, I could be more forgiving. I could love people more. I need more discipline. Do I have to be perfect to get married? Is that why I’m still single? I don’t think so. No one is perfect. Every one of us has flaws and kinks that need to be worked out.

Marriage is not some great prize or reward I get for doing good things, for being a good Christian. I understand that. I try not to think about marriage that way, but it’s hard not to sometimes. I totally get that my reward is in heaven. I live for Christ because I truly believe His will is what’s best for my life. I know that I need Him to make it through any situation in which I find myself.

I know His grace is sufficient; that contentment is the goal for every aspect of my life.  But how can I ever truly be content if a long-held desire is not fulfilled? I know God put the desire there. I always heard that my husband will come once I’m content with just me and Jesus. It’s always been me and Jesus, and I really do love Him. How much more content do I need to be?

The dictionary defines content as, “in a state of peaceful happiness; satisfied; glad.”* The Greek dictionary defines the word content as, “self-sufficient, adequate, needing no assistance.”* That puts a different spin on it. Needing no assistance is definitely different from peaceful happiness. I was thinking of contentment as being happy when it’s really just leaning on Christ for strength for everything. Whether I’m single or married, I need to be content.

I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining, or woe is me, I’m sad and single. That’s not the case. I am quite satisfied. My life is good. I’m learning and growing every day. As for my husband coming when I’m totally content, maybe that’s true. I don’t know. I’ll tell you if or when that happens. One thing I know, that it will happen in God’s timing and I will rely on Him to give me strength in the mean-time.

I know that when I put Him first, all the other pieces will fall into place. I’ll just wait on God and get closer to Him. I’ll learn to trust Him more, especially with matters of the heart. Prayerfully I’ll have fewer days like this. I will focus on what I do have, which is every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms. I have amazing friends and family. I have a good life with few major responsibilities. I get to sleep late on Saturdays. I’m so thankful that God puts up with me. He’s wonderfully kind, patient, and tolerant. I really am blessed.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You, for blessing me abundantly. Help me to focus on what I have. Help me to put Your kingdom above all else so that You can give me everything I need. Thank You for the strength You give so that I can do everything through Christ. You are my keeper. You are my refuge. I place my trust in You, Lord. Have Your way in all areas of my life. I surrender my will to Yours. I will look to my future with confident assurance because You sustain me. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Philippians 4:11-13 (NLT)

11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

*dictionary.com

* page 47, Greek Dictionary of the New Testament, The New Strong’s Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible.

Healing From A Broken Heart

Posted on December 1, 2017

I know the pain of a broken heart. The despair, the brokenness, and feelings of helplessness and loneliness. I’ve cried those same tears. I’ve felt there was no one to turn to; no one who could understand what I felt. I’m here to encourage you. You’re not alone. There is an after-this. There is hope. You can heal from a broken heart.

Healing from a broken heart requires you to first process the pain. Processing the pain looks different for everyone. Some people cry, others shout, and some go to therapy. In my case, it was all three combined. Whatever you do, don’t hold it in. Someone or something broke your heart and it hurts. It’s OK to hurt, just don’t suffer in silence. Don’t allow your feelings to control you. Let the pain out. Psalm 34:17 says, “The Lord hears His people when they call to Him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.” The Lord hears you when you cry out, so cry out. No one can hear what you keep hidden inside. Once you cry out to Him, he will hear you and rescue you from your troubles.

Once you’ve processed the pain and cried out, stop replaying the hurt over and over in your mind. Stop thinking about all the ways you could have avoided it, or things you should have done. It won’t ease the hurt. It only makes things worse because you keep reliving the pain. I know it’s going to be hard, but try not to think about it. You have to let it go. Let it go by keeping your mind fixed on God. Isaiah 26:3 says, “God will keep you in perfect peace when you fix your thoughts on Him.” You can keep your thoughts fixed on Him by thinking about what is true, honorable, right, pure, excellent, and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8). If you find yourself thinking about the hurt, stop and redirect your thoughts to God and more pleasurable things. In time you will find that you are in His perfect peace and on your way to having a healed heart.

In that peaceful place, you’ll find it easier to forgive. You will be fully healed when you forgive one who hurt you. Why should you forgive someone who hurt you so deeply? Why should you forgive someone who knew you, loved you, and still hurt you? Why should you forgive someone who doesn’t even deserve forgiveness? It doesn’t seem fair. Believe me,  I struggled with this the most. It seems like someone should pay for the pain they inflicted. Someone should hurt, just like you are hurting. The thing is though, it’s never quite satisfying to hurt someone else just because you’re hurt. It doesn’t erase your pain. You may feel vindicated, but what does that feeling do? It just adds more hurt to the world.

In order to forgive, you have to do so from a place of compassion and mercy. Forgiveness cannot be done in your own strength. You have to rely on God to give you the grace to forgive. Why does God continually forgive us when we constantly hurt Him? When we intentionally disobey Him? He forgives us because He is full of grace and mercy and expects us to extend that same grace and mercy to others. Colossians 3:13 says, “make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” We are commanded to forgive as we’ve been forgiven. In order to forgive, I had to remember that God forgave me when I didn’t deserve it and He did the same for you. Consider how God has forgiven you. Think about all that you have done and how much mercy God has shown you. Ask the Holy Spirit into your heart so that you can rely on Him for the mercy and compassion needed to forgive someone. Forgiveness will lead to healing. Healing and wholeness are God’s desires for you. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”

Healing is a process and there is no timeframe for it. It may take some people a week and take others years. Although dealing with and healing from pain isn’t easy, you will survive. I did, as have so many others. You are still living and breathing and making it through. You may have been knocked down, but you were not destroyed. There is a joy that is coming that you cannot believe. Not only will you survive, you will be happy, whole, and completely healed. You will love again and it will be all that God has promised. He hasn’t failed you yet and He never will.

Heavenly Father,

You are a healer. I pray that you come into my heart and heal every wound and every broken thing. You are close to the brokenhearted. You rescue those whose spirits are crushed (Psalm 34:18). I am in need of rescue Lord. I cry out to You Lord. I’m looking to You for help so that I may be radiant with joy (Psalm 34:5). Help me to remember all that You have done for me, all the mercy you have so graciously bestowed upon me. Give me the compassion and mercy I need to forgive. Help me to forgive the person and not judge their actions. Help me to keep my mind fixed on you and stay in your perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3).

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (NLT)

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.

 

A Thank You Note

Posted on November 24, 2017

During this holiday of Thanksgiving, we often show gratitude for the people and things we value in our lives. I appreciate my family and friends and all the joy they bring into my life, but I just want to take time to thank God Almighty for all that He has done, is doing, and will do.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for this day You have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.  Thank You for Your son Jesus Christ and for His sacrifice. I pray that I am following Your will for my life. Help me not to lean on my own understanding, but acknowledge You in all things.  Thank You for everything that You have already blessed me with. I pray for patience. I know that You will provide my every need according to Your riches in glory. Thank You, God, that I’m accepting of Your will for my life and that I will not push it away or not recognize it when it comes. 

Thank You, Father, that You have given me the authority to speak life. Thank You for the power to defeat death with everlasting life in glory. Thank You for the resurrection power that dwells within me. Thank You for wisdom and discernment. These are gifts that I pray I use correctly every day. Thank You for each spiritual gift You have bestowed upon me. I pray I use each one for Your glory and the upbuilding of Your kingdom. Help me to recognize and utilize each one in Your perfect timing. God, You are glorious, marvelous, and wonderful. Thank You, Yahweh, for being God all by Yourself. Forgive me for trying to do Your job and having the audacity to think I can do it better than You. Thank You for humility. Thank You for the confidence I have in You. Thank You for always being faithful even when I was not.

Thank You for guarding my heart so that I will not give it to the wrong person. Thank You that my husband will come to you, my Father, and ask for my hand in marriage. Thank You, Father, that my marriage will be one that glorifies You. Thank You, God, that my husband will see me as a treasure and will value my worth. Thank You, Lord, that I will see him as Your son, and treat him with the respect that royalty deserves. Thank You for a marriage that will exhibit the love Christ showed, by dying on the cross and rising three days later. Thank You for a marriage that will involve daily prayers together and for each other.  Thank You for a marriage that will have open and honest communication, with a lot of grace and forgiveness. Thank You that my husband and I will be patient with each other. Thank You for a love that goes beyond physical pleasure. Thank you that our love for each other will stimulate our minds, bodies, souls, and spirits. 

Thank you for the power of Your love, God, for it covers all things. Thank You that I will not be conformed to this world, but I will be transformed by the renewing of my mind in Jesus. Thank You, God, for calling, justifying, sanctifying, and glorifying me and my family. Many are called, but few are chosen. Thank You for choosing me. Help me to be selfless and reach Your people. Make my walk speak for itself. Make my testimony help others. Help me to see people through Your eyes. Help me to be who You have called me to be, so that You may be glorified. Thank You, God, for everything You have done for me!

In Jesus’ name.

Amen.

Psalm 24:1 (KJV)

The earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

Luke 17:15-19 (NLT)

One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!”  He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” And Jesus said to the man, “Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.”

Bad Dating

Posted on November 17, 2017

So, I haven’t been on a date in about a year. Why not you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. I don’t think I was doing it right. So, I decided to take a break and do some introspection. I wanted to evaluate what I really want and need. My last date is what made me re-evaluate my life. Here’s what happened.

I met this guy on Match.com. He wasn’t the typical guy I usually dated, meaning I wasn’t attracted to him. But God had been working with me on the type of men I liked so I decided to move forward. anyway. He’s a pastor, well-spoken, and loves God so I figured it couldn’t be that bad. I was wrong. As we talk and get to know each other, we discover a mutual interest in Harry Potter. (Yes, I’m a Harry Potter fan.) At the time, a movie called Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was coming out, a sort of Harry Potter prequel. I was very excited and wanted to see it. Naturally, he asked me if I wanted to see it with him and I said yes. Now up to this point, the conversation hadn’t been too great, but I thought when we met in person it might not be so bad. Y’all, it was that bad.

On the day of our first date, I get to the movie theater and he’s late. I’m very forgiving of people being late because I’m always late. I have to stand in the lobby area because there aren’t any seats and he bought the tickets. So, I’m standing there just people-watching, hyping myself up, like this is going to be good. He finally arrives and I realize I have only seen pictures of him from the shoulders up. Oh, the perils of online dating. I sigh inwardly. At this point, I was just hoping his personality would win me over. It didn’t.

We make our way to our seats and he talks throughout the previews about the bible. I mean, I love Jesus too, but I don’t want to talk about whether I interpret Paul’s writings conservatively or liberally on the first date. The movie starts and he begins breathing heavily, like deep sleep heavy.  I look over and his eyes are still open, so he’s not sleeping.  I ask him if he’s alright.  He says yes, but excuses himself to the restroom. As soon as he rounds the corner, I contemplate just leaving. I don’t need heavy breathers in my life. I stay because I really want to watch this movie and the night could still turn around for the better. It didn’t.

When he comes back, he’s still breathing hard and now he’s sweating. I’m thinking to myself, what in the world did he do in the bathroom? I make no comment and continue to watch the movie. He kept sweating and breathing heavily for the rest of the movie. I was low-key annoyed because I was trying to listen to the movie, but kept hearing him breathe. After the movie, he walked me to my car and we had an awkward goodbye. He asked if he could see me again and I gave a noncommittal grunt, patted him on the shoulder, got in my car, and drove away. In retrospect, maybe the date wasn’t that bad, but after having a string of bad dates, I think it was the proverbial straw the broke the camel’s back.

That night I sat down with God and prayed. I realized that I’m not a casual dating type of girl. I need someone that I’m attracted to. He doesn’t have to be my type, but I going to need to be able to look at him for the rest of my life. I need someone who will pray along with me and for me; someone who will have interests outside of the bible. What I need, is my husband. Prayerfully my next relationship will be my last. That’s why I haven’t dated in almost a year. I don’t have the time or energy for anything else other than the real thing. Until I meet or become reacquainted with my husband, I’ll just make sure my heart is positioned to be his wife, living my best life, and giving God the glory.

 

Heavenly Father,

Thank You, for all of the experiences that have led me to You. Help me to have an open heart and mind regarding the things You have for me. Help me to receive every blessing You have for me. Help me to stay in Your will Father. Thank You, Lord, for Your divine timing. I surrender all to You, Lord. Let Your will be done and Your peace reign. Help me to not move ahead of You, Lord. I desire what You have for me at the time You want me to have it. If I have rejected anything You have sent, Lord, please bring it back around. Open my eyes so that I may see it as a blessing from You. Help me to put You first in all things.  I pray my husband does the same.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 (NLT)

A Time for Everything

3 For everything, there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

 

Vulnerable

Posted on November 3, 2017

God, I am diligently seeking You. You are my best friend and my greatest love. Thank You, Father, for blessing me beyond measure. My spirit rejoices in You. I rejoice in You. Help me to to be the way You want me to be. Help me to operate in a new mindset. Holy Spirit, help me to see clearly what You have for me. I want to rely totally on You, Lord. I want Your will to be done. Help me to give You my entire heart. God, I need You to help me tear down the walls around my heart. Help me to be vulnerable. Help me to love completely and truly. Help me to let go of past hurts.

I don’t want to push away any more people because something they said or did reminds me of a past hurt.  Help me to forgive as I have been forgiven. Help me to face the pain and overcome the hurt. Why do I hold on so tightly to things I should have let go many years ago? I know that I’m already healed. I’m already victorious and successful in You. What is still holding me back from your promises? You want me to be vulnerable and I’m being disobedient. Lead me where I need to go, Lord so that I’m comfortable showing my insecurities.  If I ever want to love again, I must open my heart. Why is this so hard for me? Would I rather never love again just so I won’t be hurt again?

I want to love and be loved. God, remove this wall. No matter how painful, or how much I cry and beg, please remove this wall erected around my heart. I need to feel again.  Remove this mask of propriety from me. Help me to stop hiding behind holiness and sanctification. I’m broken and I’m a mess. Not as broken as I used to be, but broken nonetheless. Is it fear that is holding me back from being vulnerable and open? Fear of intimacy and vulnerability? I’m so afraid to express what’s deep in my soul. What if it’s too much or not enough? Why am I so beholden to what others may think of me? I need to be free of other’s people’s opinions. Your opinion is the only one that matters. Help me to walk in the liberty of Jesus.

Set me free, Lord.  Help me to walk in victory. Help me to trust You enough to let it all go. I don’t want to be burdened any longer. You said to come to You all who are weary and burdened and You will give them rest. I’m coming to You, Lord so that I may rest. I’m coming to You, Lord so that I can be free. I need to be free so that I can help others be free in You. This stage of vulnerability is scary. I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never done this before. So God, please remove the walls from my heart. I don’t want anything holding me back from Your promises.

Give me wisdom. You have something You need me to do. I’m a willing vessel, empty me out and pour You in.  I will be obedient. I will go where the Holy Spirit leads me. Even though I can’t see the next step, I will still rejoice. I will trust the Lord. I will be open and vulnerable. Fear shall not be my deterrent any longer! I won’t stop because of fear. I have to keep going, keep pushing, keep living, and keep pressing.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You, for the Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to break through whatever is in me so that You can get all the glory. You heal the broken-hearted. I walk in that healing. Lord, help me to feed your sheep. Help me to love unequivocally again. I desire to be led by You in every circumstance. Help me to be content in every situation. Help me to let go and let You have control. Help me to guard my heart, not build a wall around it. I give my heart to You, God. I trust You. Give me wisdom and discernment on whom to trust. Help me to be vulnerable and open so that Your will shall be done in the earth.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

Psalm 147:3 (NLT)

 He heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds.

The 23rd Psalm

Posted on October 27, 2017

I’ve been feeling a little low and discouraged. I feel like I’m not doing enough. I know I shouldn’t be led by my emotions, but I’m tired. Tired of feeling unworthy, impatient, unfocused, distracted, and lost. I was seeking God for some comfort and He led me to the 23rd Psalm. This is a very familiar and popular psalm written by David. Although I have read this particular psalm it seems like a thousand times, a recent worship experience has allowed me to look at it again and see how comforting this psalm really is.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. The Shepherd is the one who watches, protects, guides, and leads.  He provides everything I need. I shall lack no good thing. He alone meets my every need.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. Only in Him are we able to rest. The rest will be productive, refreshing, and will renew me. He leads me, which will result in progress, but only if I follow. God leads the way to quietness, abundance, peace, and to life.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. God continuously and instantly restores my soul, once I make the decision to follow Him. Success is guaranteed because I’m walking in His name. I’m in Him and He cannot fail, therefore I cannot fail.  I’m in right standing with Him because I’ve made the decision to allow Him to lead me. 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Following the Lord isn’t a guarantee of easy paths. I will still have to walk through a valley. I may have to be surrounded and hedged in by a very real presence of danger. Not only is there a danger, but there is the shadow of death. Death is the ultimate evil and defeat. It’s just the shadow though, which means that it’s real and near. But if there is a shadow, there means there must be a light. Jesus is that light. I don’t have to face death because Jesus defeated death for us all. Yet, I’m still walking through the valley. This means this valley isn’t the destination or dwelling place.  It’s just a place I have to go through. It isn’t the end, it’s part of the journey. The valley experience will not be pleasant, but His gentle pushing and prodding will comfort and protect me. I don’t have to be afraid in the valley. I’m still being led by God, He is with me in the valley.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Even when I’m surrounded on all sides by people who mean me harm, as long as I’m in right standing with God, He’ll provide for me. He’ll prepare a table just for me so I can feast and enjoy His graciousness and abundance.  I don’t have to worry, hurry, or even fight. I can eat of God’s abundance in peace in front of the people who want to destroy me. He will dignify me, make sure I’m treated with respect despite the dangers. I’m refreshed and renewed and provided for abundantly.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.   I can live in faithful expectation that for the rest of my life God’s goodness and mercy is for me and those who come after me. I can enjoy the presence of the Lord now and forever. From here to eternity I am reassured that He is with me and I’m with Him. Though I may not always do or say the right thing, I can count on His mercy always being with me. I can expect healing and forgiveness from God as long as I abide in Him and follow Him where He leads me. 

Our Father,

I bind every distraction, fear, and feeling of unworthiness. I let loose Your peace, love, joy, and abundance. You are my shepherd and I choose to follow You every day of my life. I desire to seek the things of You Lord. Thank You, Father, for Your word. Thank You for the encouragement and hope it gives. Let me think on things that are pure, praiseworthy, and holy so that I can do Your will. Allow me to remember how much You care for me in trying times. Allow me to remember that only in You will l find rest. You meet my every need and allow me to walk without fear of any adversary. I lack no good thing in You, God. In You, I’m righteous, successful, respected, restored, renewed, loved, and comforted. When I’m in the valley and faced with enemies, help me to stay in right relationship with You. You have already defeated my enemies. I don’t have to fight. Help me to abide in You so that I may dwell with You forever. Thank You, God, that Your goodness and mercy are for me and for the generations to come. Help me to live a life worthy of You and the calling You have placed on my life. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.