Category:

Confidence

Why Am I Still Single?

Posted on December 8, 2017

I’m still single because I am a happy, whole, and confident woman. I am complete by myself and I am totally satisfied waiting on whomever God has for me. I refuse to settle for just any old person. I want the fullness of God’s promises and that includes whomever I marry.

Now that the holiday season is upon us, this is the answer I give to all of those nosy well-meaning relatives.  It’s always asked with such disdain as if something is wrong with me. So, I came up with an answer that would allow them to know I’m not afflicted with some rare disease. I’m satisfied being single.

While that answer sounds good and is essentially true, I can’t help but wonder what’s the hold-up? What is this waiting period really for? Have I missed the person I was to marry? Am I causing this period to be longer than necessary? Or is it that God has some great destiny for me and I need this time to define myself? 

In all honesty, the answer is it’s a lot of me and a little of God. Maybe I messed up with the person I am supposed to be with because I was in my flesh and didn’t find him attractive. I probably held on too long to unforgiveness and it turned to bitterness and no one finds that attractive. I may not have let my heart be as open to love as it could have been.

God has some work to do on me and I’m willing to let Him do it. So, I do need this time to become better. Yes, I’m complete, whole, and happy but, I could be more forgiving. I could love people more. I need more discipline. Do I have to be perfect to get married? Is that why I’m still single? I don’t think so. No one is perfect. Every one of us has flaws and kinks that need to be worked out.

Marriage is not some great prize or reward I get for doing good things, for being a good Christian. I understand that. I try not to think about marriage that way, but it’s hard not to sometimes. I totally get that my reward is in heaven. I live for Christ because I truly believe His will is what’s best for my life. I know that I need Him to make it through any situation in which I find myself.

I know His grace is sufficient; that contentment is the goal for every aspect of my life.  But how can I ever truly be content if a long-held desire is not fulfilled? I know God put the desire there. I always heard that my husband will come once I’m content with just me and Jesus. It’s always been me and Jesus, and I really do love Him. How much more content do I need to be?

The dictionary defines content as, “in a state of peaceful happiness; satisfied; glad.”* The Greek dictionary defines the word content as, “self-sufficient, adequate, needing no assistance.”* That puts a different spin on it. Needing no assistance is definitely different from peaceful happiness. I was thinking of contentment as being happy when it’s really just leaning on Christ for strength for everything. Whether I’m single or married, I need to be content.

I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining, or woe is me, I’m sad and single. That’s not the case. I am quite satisfied. My life is good. I’m learning and growing every day. As for my husband coming when I’m totally content, maybe that’s true. I don’t know. I’ll tell you if or when that happens. One thing I know, that it will happen in God’s timing and I will rely on Him to give me strength in the mean-time.

I know that when I put Him first, all the other pieces will fall into place. I’ll just wait on God and get closer to Him. I’ll learn to trust Him more, especially with matters of the heart. Prayerfully I’ll have fewer days like this. I will focus on what I do have, which is every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms. I have amazing friends and family. I have a good life with few major responsibilities. I get to sleep late on Saturdays. I’m so thankful that God puts up with me. He’s wonderfully kind, patient, and tolerant. I really am blessed.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You, for blessing me abundantly. Help me to focus on what I have. Help me to put Your kingdom above all else so that You can give me everything I need. Thank You for the strength You give so that I can do everything through Christ. You are my keeper. You are my refuge. I place my trust in You, Lord. Have Your way in all areas of my life. I surrender my will to Yours. I will look to my future with confident assurance because You sustain me. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Philippians 4:11-13 (NLT)

11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

*dictionary.com

* page 47, Greek Dictionary of the New Testament, The New Strong’s Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible.

A Thank You Note

Posted on November 24, 2017

During this holiday of Thanksgiving, we often show gratitude for the people and things we value in our lives. I appreciate my family and friends and all the joy they bring into my life, but I just want to take time to thank God Almighty for all that He has done, is doing, and will do.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for this day You have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.  Thank You for Your son Jesus Christ and for His sacrifice. I pray that I am following Your will for my life. Help me not to lean on my own understanding, but acknowledge You in all things.  Thank You for everything that You have already blessed me with. I pray for patience. I know that You will provide my every need according to Your riches in glory. Thank You, God, that I’m accepting of Your will for my life and that I will not push it away or not recognize it when it comes. 

Thank You, Father, that You have given me the authority to speak life. Thank You for the power to defeat death with everlasting life in glory. Thank You for the resurrection power that dwells within me. Thank You for wisdom and discernment. These are gifts that I pray I use correctly every day. Thank You for each spiritual gift You have bestowed upon me. I pray I use each one for Your glory and the upbuilding of Your kingdom. Help me to recognize and utilize each one in Your perfect timing. God, You are glorious, marvelous, and wonderful. Thank You, Yahweh, for being God all by Yourself. Forgive me for trying to do Your job and having the audacity to think I can do it better than You. Thank You for humility. Thank You for the confidence I have in You. Thank You for always being faithful even when I was not.

Thank You for guarding my heart so that I will not give it to the wrong person. Thank You that my husband will come to you, my Father, and ask for my hand in marriage. Thank You, Father, that my marriage will be one that glorifies You. Thank You, God, that my husband will see me as a treasure and will value my worth. Thank You, Lord, that I will see him as Your son, and treat him with the respect that royalty deserves. Thank You for a marriage that will exhibit the love Christ showed, by dying on the cross and rising three days later. Thank You for a marriage that will involve daily prayers together and for each other.  Thank You for a marriage that will have open and honest communication, with a lot of grace and forgiveness. Thank You that my husband and I will be patient with each other. Thank You for a love that goes beyond physical pleasure. Thank you that our love for each other will stimulate our minds, bodies, souls, and spirits. 

Thank you for the power of Your love, God, for it covers all things. Thank You that I will not be conformed to this world, but I will be transformed by the renewing of my mind in Jesus. Thank You, God, for calling, justifying, sanctifying, and glorifying me and my family. Many are called, but few are chosen. Thank You for choosing me. Help me to be selfless and reach Your people. Make my walk speak for itself. Make my testimony help others. Help me to see people through Your eyes. Help me to be who You have called me to be, so that You may be glorified. Thank You, God, for everything You have done for me!

In Jesus’ name.

Amen.

Psalm 24:1 (KJV)

The earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

Luke 17:15-19 (NLT)

One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!”  He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” And Jesus said to the man, “Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.”

Falling Short

Posted on November 10, 2017

Lately, I’ve been feeling like all I want to do is please You, God, but I’m falling woefully short. I feel so inadequate. I know who You are and who I am in You, but for some reason, my head isn’t connecting to my heart.  Help me to receive it.  I want to soak in You so that I can pour You out to those who desperately seek You. Your presence is here. I invite You into my heart. I’m still available to use if You’re still willing to use me.

Open my heart. I need You. Help me to rest with You. Holy Spirit, help me to remember God’s grace and mercy are new each day. Though I fall, His grace bestows unmerited favor on me. When I turn to Him, He makes me right in His sight. He knows me, sees me, and cares about me. Help me to remember how far I’ve come.  It’s with His words I want to speak. I won’t be afraid to do what He’s called me to do. I won’t be ashamed. I won’t be distracted.

I am gifted and purposed. I will fulfill the purpose God has put on my life. I will remember His promises and stand in agreement with them. I will be patient and wait on the Lord. I will let the Lord complete His perfect work.  I cast down every vain imagination and every high thought that comes against the knowledge of God. I command my thoughts into the obedience of God. I have to be available and open to what God has for me. I will remember that I am worthy because God says that I am.

I must die to myself so that Christ can live in me. Holy Spirit, give me ears to hear what the Lord is saying. Forgive me, Father, for not always doing things Your way. Help me to honestly repent. Help me to let go of those things that are not from You. It is my sincere prayer that I am pleasing to You, Father. I cannot do this in my own strength. It’s only in Your strength that I am able to do anything. The accuser is conquered by the blood of the lamb,  the word of my testimony, and by me not loving my own life unto death.

Heavenly Father, 

I’m leaning on You to guide me through. I am grateful for Your provision, Father. I trust in You. I cannot afford to miss where You are leading me any longer. I need to move with You and the Holy Spirit. Please guide me to where You need me to be. Help me to combat feelings of inadequacy with the truth. I am worthy. I am in right standing with You because Jesus died for me and now sits at Your right-hand interceding on my behalf. Let Your will be done in my life Lord. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Romans 3:23-24 (NLT)

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.

Vulnerable

Posted on November 3, 2017

God, I am diligently seeking You. You are my best friend and my greatest love. Thank You, Father, for blessing me beyond measure. My spirit rejoices in You. I rejoice in You. Help me to to be the way You want me to be. Help me to operate in a new mindset. Holy Spirit, help me to see clearly what You have for me. I want to rely totally on You, Lord. I want Your will to be done. Help me to give You my entire heart. God, I need You to help me tear down the walls around my heart. Help me to be vulnerable. Help me to love completely and truly. Help me to let go of past hurts.

I don’t want to push away any more people because something they said or did reminds me of a past hurt.  Help me to forgive as I have been forgiven. Help me to face the pain and overcome the hurt. Why do I hold on so tightly to things I should have let go many years ago? I know that I’m already healed. I’m already victorious and successful in You. What is still holding me back from your promises? You want me to be vulnerable and I’m being disobedient. Lead me where I need to go, Lord so that I’m comfortable showing my insecurities.  If I ever want to love again, I must open my heart. Why is this so hard for me? Would I rather never love again just so I won’t be hurt again?

I want to love and be loved. God, remove this wall. No matter how painful, or how much I cry and beg, please remove this wall erected around my heart. I need to feel again.  Remove this mask of propriety from me. Help me to stop hiding behind holiness and sanctification. I’m broken and I’m a mess. Not as broken as I used to be, but broken nonetheless. Is it fear that is holding me back from being vulnerable and open? Fear of intimacy and vulnerability? I’m so afraid to express what’s deep in my soul. What if it’s too much or not enough? Why am I so beholden to what others may think of me? I need to be free of other’s people’s opinions. Your opinion is the only one that matters. Help me to walk in the liberty of Jesus.

Set me free, Lord.  Help me to walk in victory. Help me to trust You enough to let it all go. I don’t want to be burdened any longer. You said to come to You all who are weary and burdened and You will give them rest. I’m coming to You, Lord so that I may rest. I’m coming to You, Lord so that I can be free. I need to be free so that I can help others be free in You. This stage of vulnerability is scary. I have no idea what to expect. I’ve never done this before. So God, please remove the walls from my heart. I don’t want anything holding me back from Your promises.

Give me wisdom. You have something You need me to do. I’m a willing vessel, empty me out and pour You in.  I will be obedient. I will go where the Holy Spirit leads me. Even though I can’t see the next step, I will still rejoice. I will trust the Lord. I will be open and vulnerable. Fear shall not be my deterrent any longer! I won’t stop because of fear. I have to keep going, keep pushing, keep living, and keep pressing.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You, for the Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to break through whatever is in me so that You can get all the glory. You heal the broken-hearted. I walk in that healing. Lord, help me to feed your sheep. Help me to love unequivocally again. I desire to be led by You in every circumstance. Help me to be content in every situation. Help me to let go and let You have control. Help me to guard my heart, not build a wall around it. I give my heart to You, God. I trust You. Give me wisdom and discernment on whom to trust. Help me to be vulnerable and open so that Your will shall be done in the earth.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

Psalm 147:3 (NLT)

 He heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds.

The 23rd Psalm

Posted on October 27, 2017

I’ve been feeling a little low and discouraged. I feel like I’m not doing enough. I know I shouldn’t be led by my emotions, but I’m tired. Tired of feeling unworthy, impatient, unfocused, distracted, and lost. I was seeking God for some comfort and He led me to the 23rd Psalm. This is a very familiar and popular psalm written by David. Although I have read this particular psalm it seems like a thousand times, a recent worship experience has allowed me to look at it again and see how comforting this psalm really is.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. The Shepherd is the one who watches, protects, guides, and leads.  He provides everything I need. I shall lack no good thing. He alone meets my every need.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. Only in Him are we able to rest. The rest will be productive, refreshing, and will renew me. He leads me, which will result in progress, but only if I follow. God leads the way to quietness, abundance, peace, and to life.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. God continuously and instantly restores my soul, once I make the decision to follow Him. Success is guaranteed because I’m walking in His name. I’m in Him and He cannot fail, therefore I cannot fail.  I’m in right standing with Him because I’ve made the decision to allow Him to lead me. 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Following the Lord isn’t a guarantee of easy paths. I will still have to walk through a valley. I may have to be surrounded and hedged in by a very real presence of danger. Not only is there a danger, but there is the shadow of death. Death is the ultimate evil and defeat. It’s just the shadow though, which means that it’s real and near. But if there is a shadow, there means there must be a light. Jesus is that light. I don’t have to face death because Jesus defeated death for us all. Yet, I’m still walking through the valley. This means this valley isn’t the destination or dwelling place.  It’s just a place I have to go through. It isn’t the end, it’s part of the journey. The valley experience will not be pleasant, but His gentle pushing and prodding will comfort and protect me. I don’t have to be afraid in the valley. I’m still being led by God, He is with me in the valley.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Even when I’m surrounded on all sides by people who mean me harm, as long as I’m in right standing with God, He’ll provide for me. He’ll prepare a table just for me so I can feast and enjoy His graciousness and abundance.  I don’t have to worry, hurry, or even fight. I can eat of God’s abundance in peace in front of the people who want to destroy me. He will dignify me, make sure I’m treated with respect despite the dangers. I’m refreshed and renewed and provided for abundantly.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.   I can live in faithful expectation that for the rest of my life God’s goodness and mercy is for me and those who come after me. I can enjoy the presence of the Lord now and forever. From here to eternity I am reassured that He is with me and I’m with Him. Though I may not always do or say the right thing, I can count on His mercy always being with me. I can expect healing and forgiveness from God as long as I abide in Him and follow Him where He leads me. 

Our Father,

I bind every distraction, fear, and feeling of unworthiness. I let loose Your peace, love, joy, and abundance. You are my shepherd and I choose to follow You every day of my life. I desire to seek the things of You Lord. Thank You, Father, for Your word. Thank You for the encouragement and hope it gives. Let me think on things that are pure, praiseworthy, and holy so that I can do Your will. Allow me to remember how much You care for me in trying times. Allow me to remember that only in You will l find rest. You meet my every need and allow me to walk without fear of any adversary. I lack no good thing in You, God. In You, I’m righteous, successful, respected, restored, renewed, loved, and comforted. When I’m in the valley and faced with enemies, help me to stay in right relationship with You. You have already defeated my enemies. I don’t have to fight. Help me to abide in You so that I may dwell with You forever. Thank You, God, that Your goodness and mercy are for me and for the generations to come. Help me to live a life worthy of You and the calling You have placed on my life. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

The Real Me

Posted on October 6, 2017

I recently had a dream where God was swinging me around in His arms. As He was swinging me around I could see the entire earth. I could see the sky, mountains, seas, and meadows.  The view was absolutely breathtaking. Angels starting singing to me as I gazed upon the splendor of all He created. Their song was sweet and gave me great comfort. In the song, they called me His princess. I immediately started crying in the dream and asked God is that how He really sees me, as His princess? He answered yes and continued to swing me around the earth. I’ve never felt more loved, comforted, secure, protected, and happy. Then I woke up asking myself how can I make sure I always feel that way? How can I keep those feelings inside of my heart forever? Can I truly see myself as a princess, as God sees me?

I’ve always struggled with seeing myself as God sees me. Though I’ve gotten much better with casting down negative thoughts, they still sometimes haunt me. Occasionally thoughts still come that say I’m not worthy of love, I’m ugly, and no one wants to be around me. Then I tell myself who’s going to listen to you? You don’t have anything of value to say. You’re just a fraud.Why do you even bother? Even though I know those thoughts are lies, it’s hard not to believe something I’ve been hearing and telling myself for so long. That’s when I realized that these lies are keeping me from continuously experiencing the comforting and powerful presence of God. So, how can I make sure I see myself as God sees me? I definitely cannot do it on my own.  I have to turn to God.

I prayed for God to open my eyes to the truth of who I am in Him. He told me that I’m not fighting against flesh and blood. I have to fight lies with the truth.  He said that I am a princess. I am an heir to His kingdom and a co-heir with Christ.  I am a child of God and I’m beautiful. I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. He said He cares so much about me that He numbered the hairs on my head. The truth is that nothing can separate me from the love of Christ. The enemy has no authority. I’m seated in heavenly realms with God above every rule, authority, power, dominion, and every name that should be named, not only in this age but in the age to come. Armed with His truth, I should be able to stand firm against the attacks of the enemy right? I should feel renewed, comforted, and confident after God told me that I am all of that right? So why do those lies still haunt me? Why do I still have trouble believing what God says about me?

Is it that I don’t really believe He sees me that way? It’s been a constant struggle to accept the way God sees me. It’s been a process of constantly renewing my mind with His truth. Thank God I’m not where I used to be.  Thank Him that more days than not, I can see myself as a beloved princess. I no longer allow those negative thoughts, doubts, or fears to keep me from entering into His presence. In His presence is where I find the reassurance I so desperately need. I’m in awe of what He’s doing in my life. I’m so glad He sees me the way He does. I’m happy His love endures and I get to experience it daily. Renewing my mind and casting down negative thoughts is a priority for me. Letting go of lies I once held onto so dearly has been a painful yet rewarding process.  With God’s help, I will be totally free in my mind and be able to dwell in His presence forever. I’m finally starting to see who I really am. I am royalty and worthy of every good thing God has in store for me.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You, God, for Your grace and mercy. You protect us and show us every day how awesome You are. Allow us to receive Your truth in our hearts right now God. Let not another minute pass with us seeing ourselves as anything less than wonderfully and fearfully made. Help us to not only see ourselves that way but to see others that way as well. Help us to be the light You’ve called us to be. You’re mighty and magnificent. We stand firm in Your truth against the tactics of the enemy. Help us to renew our minds and put on the mind of Christ as often as it takes to know Your truth for ourselves.

In Jesus’ name

Amen.

Psalm 139:14 (ESV)

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Ephesians 1:17-21  (ESV)

17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him,18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.

 

A Prayer for You

Posted on September 29, 2017

Here’s a little prayer for you to keep you encouraged:

Thank You, Yahweh, for Your wisdom and guidance. You truly are the only living God. You are just and merciful. You designed us in our mother’s wombs. You’ve called us from the beginning of time to do Your will and walk in Your way. You’ve told us to walk forth in expectation, to not be afraid of what You have given us, to expect restoration. Without faith, it is impossible to please You. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. We are not fighting against flesh and blood but against spiritual wickedness in high places. The weapons of our warfare are not human. We gain our strength through Elohim-the creator, Abba Father, Yahweh our God.  We desire a close personal relationship with You, Yahweh, the creator, the Awesome One. The One who gave us Jesus, the One who gave us the truth.Thank You, Father, for our different journeys that all lead to You. Thank You, Father, that although some may grow faster than others, we all are on the road that leads to You. Thank You for ordering our steps on this day. Thank You that we don’t have to worry about tomorrow. You are the way, the truth, and the life. No one goes to the Father except by You, Jesus. Make Your will the desires of our heart. When we are in You and obedient to Your word, then our desires will have no choice but to line up with Your will. Thank You for our spouses, Father. Help us to not disqualify anyone based on the questions they ask, but only on the fruit, they produce. You have raised a generation of men and women that are holy and know what to look for in a spouse. Let neither party be disqualified based on our own expectations.

Help us to not lean unto our own understanding, but acknowledge You in all our ways so that You will make our paths straight. Father, we are all growing to know You better day by day. None of our walks are the same. As long as You’re the head then we will be satisfied. Help us as single Christians to be virtuous and discerning. Help us to not be a counterfeit ourselves. Let us seek a genuine connection with You so that we won’t be led astray. Your children know Your voice. Let us become so acquainted with You that no counterfeit will stand a chance. Let us wait on the Lord so He can renew our strength that we may mount up with wings like eagles, run and not be weary, walk and not faint. Let us not faint for we shall reap the good we sow if we keep walking. Help us to walk into our healing, our ministries, our true selves as You called and chose us to be. For many are called, but few are chosen. We are the chosen few. We are Your children first and foremost. Let no man or thing replace You in our hearts. Continue to be the lamp unto our feet and light on our paths. We pray for Your divine guidance. This is the year to celebrate our Lord. Let us praise Him in advance. Yahweh is our source, our provider, our healer. Let us call upon His name in the time of trouble and in time of great joy. For this is a time of great joy. We walk in expectation of the natural manifestation of completed spiritual tasks. Yahweh, deliver our angels from any trap set by the enemy. We pray Your divine protection over the angels sent to guard and protect us. We pray for Your mercy and strength over the angels sent to deliver our prayers. We pray down all tactics of the enemy. We pray against every tactic designed to hinder our prayers and we declare God’s victory. We pray for the spirit of strength, confidence, peace, and comfort. The enemy shall not prevail. He has already lost, for we are more than conquerors! We don’t even have to fight! God fights on our behalf. As done in heaven, let God’s will be done on earth.

In Jesus’ name, 
Amen.

 

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

 

Isaiah 40:31(ESV)

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Reflection

Posted on September 22, 2017

My birthday is soon and as I reflect back on this past year, I can’t help but get a little emotional. I’ll be 32 years old and I imagined that my life would be so different. I thought I would be married with at least 2 kids and the perfect house, job, and car. In reality, I don’t have any of those things. Not to say that I won’t have it someday, but my life is not turning out the way I expected. So, I asked God what’s wrong with me? I don’t necessarily feel like a failure, but I do believe I’m living below the promises of God. It’s quite frustrating. I want to be content in this season and hold on to the joy and peace I receive from God, but it’s hard to cuddle with peace at night. Sometimes I just want someone there to hold me, or to have the money to travel the world on a whim, but alas, here I am just living. 

So every year when my birthday rolls around, I take stock of my life. Where do I want to be? What do I need to do to get there? This year I don’t know. I have no idea where I should be or what I should be doing. I believe that I know my purpose, but how I do I pursue it? Next year at this time I want to be able to look back on my life and actually feel accomplished. Not that I don’t feel accomplished now, I just feel like something is missing. What is it? It can’t be God. He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. It has to be me. Maybe I’m not praying enough, or maybe I’m not as faithful as I could be. God promised that he would give me the desires of my heart when I delight in Him. Perhaps I’m not delighting in Him as much as I should. Perhaps I still need to remove idols that are separating my heart from God and the promises He has for me. What more do I need to do? I truly desire God’s will for my life. I want to live for Him. I think I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. So, why does it seem like everyone else gets the promises of God and I’m over here twiddling my thumbs? I feel like time is ticking away. I’m trying to hold on, keep the faith, but some days it’s hard. What is one to do on days like this?

I have to be firm in the belief that God is for me and knows what I need and when I need it.  I have to trust Him. I know that I want His best for my life. So, for now, that means I wait. Someone once asked me what’s the hardest part of being single, and I said the wait. Not knowing when or where anything will happen, but still believing that it will. I think that’s one of the hardest things in life. Now that I’m waiting and believing, I have to put in the work. That’s where I’ve messed up in the past, not doing the necessary work. God’s promises are available to me I just have to go get them. I have to pray, be obedient, study to show myself approved, and have faith. It’s easy to say, but intentionally setting aside time to give to God every day hasn’t been so easy. Distractions are endless and excuses are plentiful. I have to be intentional about spending time with Him. I also have to be OK with letting God be God. Just because my life isn’t turning out the way I expected, doesn’t mean it’s not His best for me. I’m willing to take this time and do the work to grab hold of every one of His promises. I’m willing to wait. When I get weary, I’ll cast my cares on Him so He can give me rest.  When I’m having a hard day, I’ll rest assured in the fact that His grace is sufficient. I don’t have to worry or be anxious about anything because God’s got me.  Until I get those promises, I’m going to keep holding on to that joy and peace. I’m going to take comfort in the fact that next year, I’ll be a better person and more secure in God because I set aside my expectations and trusted Him enough to wait.

 

Our Father, thank You, for Your everlasting love. Help me to hold tight to it while I’m in this season. Search my heart Lord and clean it. Purify me so that I may be closer to You. When I’m feeling restless and tired, help me to cast my cares on You. Change my thought life so that I can think about things that are good, pure, holy, and praiseworthy. Increase my faith. Help me to trust in You more than ever. Let Your will be done in my life. Let my life be used for Your glory.

In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Philippians 4:4-7 (NLT)

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Dear Lost Me

Posted on August 21, 2017

 The following is a letter I wrote to myself during a very dark and confusing time. I was fresh out of a 5-year relationship and my heart was utterly destroyed. I felt hopeless and unworthy. I wrote this letter to remind myself of who I am, and whose I am. This letter serves as a testament to God’s redeeming love.  If you ever happen to find yourself in a place of despair, cry out to Jesus. Go to His Word and remind yourself of His promises. He will never leave you nor forsake you. At the end of this letter is a short prayer and scripture that I encourage you to read aloud and declare over yourself. Remember that you are always loved!

Dear Lost Me,

You are a true treasure. Fearfully and wonderfully made by the one true God Almighty. You are beautiful and deserve to be loved. Do not compromise yourself. You are worthy of the love of Christ. Do not lower your standards for the benefit of anyone. If someone doesn’t value you as you are, respect yourself enough to remove yourself from that situation. Be afraid no longer! Confidence looks beautiful on you. Confidence in who you are as a person and in Christ will allow you to not worry about other people.  God chose you specifically for the purpose He set out for you. If the Creator of the universe allowed His only Son to die just to prove His love for you, how could you not be deserving of the love of mere men?

Let me be clear, the love of a human will never complete you. Please learn to love yourself completely. You are a loving, wonderful, and beautiful person. You can only become complete through total surrender to God. You must completely shed your old self and put on the new. Yes, you’ve made mistakes and you’re not perfect, but your past no longer defines you. You are now saved and redeemed. Lift your eyes to the hills. Where does your help come from? It comes from the Lord who is mighty. The Lord is strong and mighty in battle. So don’t worry about the future. God has already provided. His promises are yes and amen when you are obedient to His will. Please don’t give up. I know it’s not easy, but you have to push, you must persevere. You deserve to live a happy life. This kind of happiness will not come from a job or any other human on this earth. This kind of happiness comes from God. It only comes by seeking out His purpose for your life and fulfilling it. Fear will come, but don’t be concerned with that. God did not give you the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound judgment. You have overcome so much. Do not let fear, confusion, or other people’s opinions hinder your God-given purpose. You are led by the living Holy Spirit. Trust Him. The Holy Spirit will guide you in the right direction. I love you so much. You are uniquely designed to endure. He has put a special anointing on your life. Do not ignore it and do not be distracted from it. Not only will you survive, you will prosper according to His riches in glory.

You may not know the future, but you know God’s promises. It’s amazing to discover just how much God really loves you. Now you realize the kind of love you deserve. You deserve someone who handles you delicately and treasures your heart, mind, and soul. Someone who will put you above all except God. Someone who will help you in holiness and will be led by the Holy Spirit. The love of your life will not make you feel less than because you will not allow it. They will remind you of His love daily. God is showing you how to love and be vulnerable. Allowing people into your heart is not the easiest thing to do. It has been broken, shattered, and disrespected. You’ve allowed God in and let Him heal your brokenness. He’s the ultimate potter and put it back together without a single piece missing.

Now that he’s holding your fragile heart in His hands, trust Him with it. Grant Him full access to every dark, confused, distrusting, and broken area. Allow Him to give you peace from the broken pieces. This is a challenging process, but all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. Let God erase all of the deceit and suspicion of past hurts and fill you with His goodness and kindness. You are already in His hands, give Him room to be your protector and vindicator. His faithful love endures from generation to generation. Remind yourself of His faithfulness every day. It will all be worth it. God promised it would be, and it is so. Love is in you, and so is God. Let your light shine to the world.  Keep growing, keep loving. There’s still work to do.

Heavenly Father,

I know You’re preparing me for the next level in You while in this season of singleness. Help me to focus on You and Your Word. Help me to receive everything You have for me. Help me to listen and not become distracted. Thank You, God, for just being God all by yourself. I thank You, God, for showing me your love in real and tangible ways. Thank You for instilling confidence within me and guarding my heart; allowing me to dwell in the shadow of the Most High.  I will relentlessly pursue you and your will for my life. Help me to be steadfast, diligent, patient, obedient, and disciplined in You, Father. Thank You, God, for revelation through your Holy Spirit. I desire to please only You, God. 

In Jesus’ name. 
Amen. 

Joshua 1:9 English Standard Version (ESV)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.