Category:

Confidence

Keep The Faith Part 2

Posted on July 20, 2018

Last week I posted about an encounter I had with an older woman who lost her faith in being married. The reason her story resonated with me is that I was once in that place. My faith in God wavered in many areas especially the area of getting married.

I feared that I would marry the wrong person. I convinced myself that I would marry an unfaithful man that really didn’t like me. I couldn’t shake the fear that I would marry this awful man who fooled me in the beginning and then revealed his true nature after marriage.

I thought if this is what I’m destined for, why get married at all? Why should I hope and have faith in God for something that would destroy me? I decided to just be that great friend who is always single or that fantastic aunt that gives her nieces and nephews the best gifts because she didn’t have any kids of her own.

I suspect the fear came from past relationships where I felt it started out wonderfully, then turned horrible. I couldn’t see anything else for myself. I forgot that faith isn’t about what I see. That fear developed into doubt. I didn’t trust God. I didn’t believe He could do what He promised.

I convinced myself that I didn’t even want a husband or kids. There weren’t any male prospects around me. I felt really lonely and bad about myself. I lost hope. I stopped praying because I didn’t think God heard me. I honestly thought He was punishing me for mistakes I made in the past. Instead of turning to God and casting my cares on Him so He can exalt me at the proper time, I turned to myself. I created a vision for my life that didn’t include the will of God.

I lost hope for the better part of a year. I literally felt like His grace left me. I felt like I was on my own, forever. It was a terrible feeling.  I doubted Him and forgot His promises. I forgot that He told me that I will be a wife and mother. I forgot He told me that grace is a gift from Him that I can’t earn. I forgot that nothing can separate me from His love. I forgot that the will of God is pleasing, good, and perfect. I forgot that the blessings of the Lord make me rich and won’t give me any sorrow.  I lost sight of Him. I allowed my emotions to rule me.

Instead of loving God with all of my mind, heart, and soul, I loved only myself. I put on the appearance of a Christian without living the lifestyle. I know all the churchy buzzwords to make it seem like I’m fantastic. Thank God that He knows my heart. He knew the pain and hopelessness I felt. He restored me. He gave me an unshakable faith in Him by sending people to speak life over me.

He sent His people to remind me of His promises. He told me that marriage is in His will for my life. He told me that I will be happy and loved. He told me that I am lovable. He told me that I will be a mother. He told me that He didn’t give me the spirit of fear. I chose to believe Him. I asked Him for forgiveness and to renew my mind. Renewal is a process.

I still have to tell myself daily that I trust in the Lord and in His timing. I still have to tell myself that I am a wife and mother. Notice that I use the present tense. I have to see myself as God sees me. He sees my entire future and I believe that in His perfect timing I will be a wife and mother. I believe that I am and will be happy.

I see now that loving and trusting God is a daily (or more often) choice. I choose to trust Him. I choose to pray and be honest about how I’m feeling. I choose to have daily affirmations that remind me of His promises for my life. I choose to remain in fellowship with those that speak life over me and remind me to keep God first.

If you have ever lost hope, my prayer is that this encourages you to seek God. Be honest with how and why you’re feeling the way you are. God hasn’t left you. He’s not punishing you for anything. I pray you are able to feel how much He loves you. I pray He sends angels to encircle you and encourage you. I pray that you surround yourself with people who will speak life into you if you’re struggling to believe. I’m a living witness that you can be restored. Your faith can increase. I pray that you are encouraged and continue to keep the faith.

Heavenly Father,

I praise You in advance for Your will being done in our lives. Thank You for every promise that You have spoken over us. I choose to cast down doubt and fear and live in the power and love that You have given us. I choose to trust You, Lord. I choose to seek You diligently. I choose to put You first in every area of my life. Renew our mind,  Lord. Help us to have the attitude and mind of Christ. Thank You Holy Spirit, for leading and guiding us into all truth. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Mark 11:22-24 (NIV)

22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Keep the Faith

Posted on July 13, 2018

I was speaking with an older woman who had given up the hope of ever getting married. She thought she should have been married at her age. She kept believing and hoping in God for the majority of her life, but as the years kept passing, with no real prospect in sight, she eventually lost hope. She now believes that she will never be wife or mother.

Several people, including me, tried to encourage her and tell her to keep the faith. We told her that God is faithful and just to deliver His promises. We told her losing hope gives one a pessimistic viewpoint on everything. Although she listened to our words of encouragement, I could tell that we had not changed her mind. She had lost hope. She had given up.

As this realization dawned on me, I couldn’t help but wonder, what happens to her now? What happens to people who lose their faith in God? What happens to God’s plan for their life? Is there any way that faith can be restored?

To answer these questions, I first looked at what faith is. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” I’m sure most of us have heard that scripture our entire lives and can even quote it, but what does it really mean?

Having faith really boils down to trusting God. Faith is having a confident expectation, a forward look with assurance. Faith is an expectation of a desire and proof of things we cannot yet see. Faith requires a person to wait in expectancy. Faith requires a person to have righteous desires and have the assurance that those desires will come to pass.

Faith isn’t just about believing God for certain things, it’s about believing that God is real and that He is who He says He is. Hebrews 11:6 says, “Now without faith it is impossible to please Him, for the one who approaches God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who diligently seek Him.”

God is not pleased with those who do not have faith. He rewards those who through faith seek Him. By losing hope in God, you risk His displeasure with you. John 15:6 says, “If anyone does not remain in me, he is thrown out like a branch, and dries up; and such branches are gathered and thrown into the fire, and are burned up.” I certainly don’t want to experience God’s displeasure. I’m sure you don’t either, so be sure to faithfully remain in God.

God’s plan continues with or without you. Matthew 25 contains the parable of the talents. The master gives three people a sum of money, leaves, and does not tell them when He is returning. Two of the three make more money, but one is fearful and hides the money. When the master comes back, he commends the two, but about the one he says, “Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” (Matthew 23:28-29)

If your faith in God is lost, you cannot be obedient and you cannot remain in His will. You will lose out on the promises He has for you. They will be given to those who are faithful and obedient. God’s plan will be realized (Isaiah 55:11) so it’s best for you to be part of His plan.

It’s possible to restore faith in God because faith is a gift from God. It doesn’t come from works, it cannot be earned, it comes through grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). If you have lost faith repent, ask God for forgiveness, and ask Him to renew your mind. It’s not too late to start operating in faith instead of fear. Learn to lean on God and expect Him to come through for you. Don’t give up on God, He will never give up on you.

Our Father,

Thank You for increasing our faith in You. Help us to see You as strong and mighty. Holy Spirit bring to our memories every time that God has delivered on His promises. Help us to remember that God does not lie and His word does not return to Him void. Let us walk in expectation and have a confident assurance that God will do what He said He would do.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

Matthew 17:20 NET

“He told them, “It was because of your little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; nothing will be impossible for you.”

Choosing Happiness

Posted on May 12, 2018

I believe there is always a choice. We can choose life and blessings or death and curses. We can choose to see the good in a situation or choose to concentrate on the negative. It all depends on your perspective. From now on, I’m choosing happiness.

I recently was blessed with the opportunity to care for some lovely children. What I learned from the experience is that I’m grateful for the way my life is right now. Although I’m not married and have no children, I’m choosing to be happy with my life. I choose to see the benefits of being single.

I don’t have to consider someone else’s schedule when I plan mine. I get to spend my money on things that I want to spend my money on. I only have to consult God. I don’t have to depend on or rely on anyone else but God, and that’s actually very freeing.

I sometimes get so caught up in preparing for and anticipating the next stage, that I forget to enjoy the now. I want to savor this stage of my life. I got a small glimpse into what my future may hold and I just thank God for this season. Yes, I still desire marriage and children, but I can definitely wait. I’m sure my next season will be wonderful. But this season is just as wonderful. Thank God I am fully realizing how truly blessed I am.

During this time, I get to spend as much time with God as I want. I only have to worry about myself. I can be as spontaneous as I desire. I don’t know how much longer my single season will last but I want to enjoy every minute of it. I want to make sure that when I look back at this time of my life, I can say that I have no regrets. I took risks, I did what God told me to do. I fulfilled my purpose.

Now is the best time to do it. I have the time to live fully for God. Not that married people can’t live fully for God, they just have added considerations single people don’t. I’m choosing to see how happy I can be right now. I don’t have to wait for contentment. I don’t have to wait for happiness. I can be whole, happy, and confident right now. A husband and kids aren’t the rewards. My reward is in Jesus. I choose to delight in Him. I choose life. I choose happiness.  I’m certainly not advocating singleness over marriage. I just want to encourage everyone to choose gratefulness right now.

Everyone wants to be happy. One way to obtain happiness is by being grateful for the things you have right now. Take stock of your life and find things that you have that you’ve prayed for. They don’t have to be so-called big things. I’m grateful for life, health, friends, and family.

I was once diagnosed with a condition called papilledema. It’s the swelling of the optic nerve and I was in danger of losing my sight. I remember how I prayed and prayed. Yet to this day I can see. I did have to undergo some medical procedures, but God saw me through. He’s allowed me to be able to see. I choose to celebrate Him and be happy for my sight. I’m grateful that God answers prayers.

There will be trouble. I’m not saying don’t recognize it or address it. I’m saying to choose life and blessings despite the troubles. Choose to see God through it all. Choose happiness. Choose joy. There will always be a choice. It’s not always easy to choose the brighter side. It may take a while to renew your mind. You will have to think differently than you have before. That’s fine. God is always there to help you.  He has the power to renew your way of thinking. Choose happiness. Choose life and blessings so that you can live.

Our Father,

Thank You, God, for everything You have given me. Help me to be grateful for my life as it is right now. Let me not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of my mind in Jesus. Help me to put on the attitude of Christ and think on things that are praiseworthy and good. Help me, God, to shift my perspective and choose You. Help me to choose life and prosperity. Help me to live for You each day. Give me the strength to wait for what You have for me. Help me to put my hopes in You alone. God, You are my refuge. I delight in You. Thank You, God, for restoration and renewal. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Deuteronomy 30:15-16 (NLT)

“Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees, and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

 

Check out the latest podcast episode: Happy, Holy, and Single

 

Insecurities

Posted on April 20, 2018

Ever since I was a small child I have struggled with insecurities. I don’t remember if it was one specific event or a series of events, but as far back as I can remember I’ve been very insecure. I remember thinking I was ugly and unwanted. I felt like if I disappeared no one would care or even be affected. I battled these feelings until my mid to late twenties.

As a result of my insecurities and feelings of worthlessness, I closed myself off. I became a loner and a people pleaser so that I wouldn’t get hurt. I never got too close to anyone because I didn’t want to feel the pain of rejection. The people I let get a little closer to me, I constantly tried to please.

I didn’t want my assumptions about people to be correct. I didn’t want to be hurt or rejected. The only way I knew how to not be hurt was to distance myself from people. I kept everyone at least an arm’s length distance from me. Which is just close enough for me to have the illusion of a relationship, but still far away enough that they wouldn’t know me enough to hurt me.

I felt like people never really understood me. But looking back, how could they? I was caught in this vicious cycle of longing for acceptance and understanding, but too fearful of the hurt to allow someone close enough to accept or understand me. This cycle went on for years. I just couldn’t seem to break it. In my early twenties, I accepted the fact that this would be my life.

Mind you I have been in church all of my life. I should have known the promises of God. I should have known what He thinks about me and how much He loves me. But I didn’t. That’s my own fault. I had access to the King and His kingdom my entire life but I didn’t take advantage. I didn’t put in the effort to simply enter in and experience His grace and loving mercy. I didn’t take the time to get to know God through our Savior and bask in His presence.

So I kept battling these insecurities and feelings of low self-esteem. Then came college. I thought that this would be the best opportunity for me to start over. I moved to a new place where people didn’t know me and I could hide how I really felt about myself. I put on a brave face and pretended like I was confident.

It worked for a while, at least I thought so. Looking back, I still had insecure tendencies. I still craved the acceptance of people. I still sought to please people in order to gain their approval. Those same thoughts and feelings were still lurking under the surface.

Though I presented to the world that I was confident, I think my new found freedom helped me to mask those feelings of insecurity better. No healing had taken place. No true deliverance occurred. I just became a master at pushing what I really felt down and away. I was living a facade.

Those deep-seeded feeling of insecurity and low self-esteem caused me to make bad decisions. I was making life decisions from a wounded place. My need for approval and my hurt and pain from perceived rejection got me into some pretty sticky situations. It’s only by the grace of God that I didn’t end up diseased, pregnant, or seriously injured.

By this time I’m nearing the end of college and I get into this relationship. I thought that this would be the answer to everything. I thought this relationship would finally heal me. Needless to say, it didn’t. The relationship only exposed my false confidence and it brought up all those insecurities I tried to hide. When someone wants to be that close to you, it’s hard to keep on the mask.

Fast forward five years and the relationship is over. I was alone, aloof, and distraught. I spiraled deeper and deeper into the already dark and discouraged recesses of my mind. I allowed those feelings to take a stronghold in my life and believed they were true. I believed what those thoughts said about me.

At this time when I envisioned my future, I saw a dark and lonely place. I saw a literal cloud hanging above me for the rest of my life. I didn’t think anything would ever lift me from this fog. I actually believed that there was no hope for me. That’s when I had my come to Jesus moment.

Through much prayer, tears, and counseling I learned how to fight against those thoughts. I learned that I don’t have to push the thoughts and feelings down. I have permission to feel. I can feel them and then push them away. Just because the thought came doesn’t mean it has to stay. I have control over what happens in my mind.

Though less frequent, the thoughts do still come. But instead of dwelling on them and believing them, I tell myself the truth about who I am and about whose I am.  I have a wall of affirmations that I say aloud every day. I put them up in my room, on my computer at work, and on my phone so that I have a constant reminder.

I admit I didn’t believe them at first. I had to say them with tears streaming down my face, but I still said them. I repeated these affirmations over and over until I received them in my heart. I often say them while I’m looking in the mirror because I need to see myself saying something positive about me. The affirmations remind me that I am somebody and my hope and confidence are in Jesus.

Here are a few of the affirmations I say daily:

I decree and declare that my words have power.

I believe that which I speak will manifest.

I speak with expectation.

I am more than a conqueror through Jesus.

I am smart, beautiful, and I make wise decisions.

I trust God and His timing.

I am happy, whole, and confident in the woman God has created me to be.

I am worthy.

I am valuable.

I am loved, loving, and lovable.

I have a lot more on my wall of affirmation. Reaching this point didn’t happen overnight. I started with a few affirmations that I would say and now I have 4 poster boards full. That old pain helped to push me into my purpose. It pushed me closer to God.

Your testimony may be different than mine, but I’m here to tell you that there is an after this. Seek God and He will provide healing and restoration. He rewards those that diligently seek Him. Your sense of self should not depend on what the world says you are or aren’t. Your self-esteem should only come from who you are in Christ.

Our Father,

Allow us to see who we are in You. Do not let us be fooled or tricked by the enemy. We believe what You say about us. We believe that we are etched in the palm of Your hand. We believe that we are loved and that nothing will ever separate us from Your love. We believe that You have deemed us worthy and valuable and that You do not lie. Thank You, God, for deliverance, healing, and restoration. Thank You, for making our stone hearts into flesh. Help us be confident in who we are in You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

Luke 12:7 (ESV)

Why even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Check out the latest podcast episode: Insecurities

Prayer

Posted on April 13, 2018

Prayer is an essential part of our relationship with God. Sometimes, for whatever reason, it’s hard to pray. I struggle with this more often than I’d like to admit. The natural question is how do we overcome that? How can we, despite our mood and environment, still talk to God?

I think one thing we should do is remove some misconceptions about prayer. Prayer is just talking to God. It’s just another way we communicate with God. I used to think prayer had to be done in a certain way and in a specific environment to be a “real prayer.” That’s just not true.

Prayer can be done in private or in public. Prayers can be said silently or aloud. Prayers can be said with your eyes open or closed, kneeling, standing, or walking. There is no way that is better than another. The most important thing is making sure your heart is in the right position.  We must be confident in the things we pray about. 1 John 5:24 says, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” We have to approach prayer knowing that He hears us and will answer. 

We must also make sure that we are praying with pure motives. We can’t be out to manipulate God into doing what we want Him to do. We have to seek His will above our own. I know this is tough. We all want what we want.  But we must endeavor to crucify our flesh. James 4:3 says, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” That’s why it’s so important, no matter how you pray, that your heart and mind are focused on God’s will. 

Okay, so what happens when your heart is for God and you still find it difficult to pray? Keep in mind that there is no length requirement for prayer. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “…constantly pray.” Which means you can pray to God throughout the day. There’s no right or wrong time to pray.  Pray whenever you get a chance for however long you feel you need to pray.

Paul wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6–7) So we can pray about everything that concerns us. We should pray in every situation. God cares for us, we just need to talk to Him about what’s going on. Ask Him for help with everything.

If you’re still feeling a little stuck, send up a prayer of adoration. Just praise God for who He is. Or confess to God about some of the things you’ve done and agree with Him that you need forgiveness. You could pray a prayer of thanksgiving. Give thanks to God for what He’s done, what He’s doing, and what He’s going to do. You could also talk to God and tell Him what’s concerning you and then cast your cares on Him. You can do a combination of these or all of these, just as long as you’re talking to God from your heart.

Listen to some of your favorite worship music. You know the songs I’m talking about, the ones that always take you to the throne. When we worship God prayer usually flows naturally from there. You can also look back at your life and see how far God has brought you. When I do this I usually end up in a prayer thanking and praising God. Looking back allows you to see how good God really is and can be motivation to pray.

If you’re going through something, look up bible verses dealing with that subject and speak them back to God. For example, if I’m feeling lonely or confused or having a moment of doubt, I just look up verses about love, wisdom, or faith and speak those verses back to God over and over until I receive them in my heart.

I often use the Lord’s prayer sort of as jumping off point. This is a prayer that Jesus taught His disciples in Matthew 6:9-13. I like to say it because each part reminds me of my relationship with God and it makes it easier to communicate with Him.

Our Father in heaven: This reminds me that I have a close parent/child relationship with God. I can call Him Father. He is that close to me. And not only is He my Father, He’s our Father. Which means I’m not only in relationship with Him, but I have brothers and sisters in Christ all around the world that I’m in a relationship with as well. He’s our Father.

Hallowed be thy name: To hallow something means to honor it as holy, it means to revere and respect it. This reminds me of who God is and how I should treat Him. He is holy and I revere Him.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven: This reminds me to crucify my flesh with its selfish desires and pray for God’s will to be done. I want that same will that is happening in heaven to happen right here on earth.

Give us our daily bread: This reminds me that God’s mercy is new every day and that I also have to seek him daily for what I need and that I have to pray without ceasing.

Forgive Us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us: I have to ask for forgiveness for every sin and forgive others just like God forgave me. I have to be as forgiving as God is toward me. I have to show the same compassion and mercy towards others that God gives me daily.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil: This is a plea for protection from every trap, trial, and temptation set up by the enemy of our souls. God will never tempt us, this is a cry to God to help us not give in, to help us avoid sin. This helps me to remember where my victory comes from and how He will protect me.

I don’t want to over-complicate prayer. At the end of the day, prayer is just communication between us and God. It’s a way to get peace, it’s a way to stop worrying. Prayer helps us discern God’s will and defeat whatever the enemy is throwing at us. The effectual and fervent prayers of the righteous accomplish much (James 5:16). There’s no wrong or right way to pray. The purpose of the prayer is what matters.

Our Father,

Thank You for ripping the veil and allowing us access to Your throne. Thank You, God, for the ability to come to you with all of our cares and worries and cast them on You. Help our hearts to have the right motives when we approach You. Let nothing distract us from talking to our Creator. Free us from any misconceptions of prayer so that we can come to You in prayer as often as we need to. Help us to trust that our prayers will be answered. Help us to seek Your will above our own in every situation.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Check out the latest podcast episode: Essentials of Prayer

Dealing With Loneliness

Posted on April 6, 2018

There was a time in my life where I felt so lonely that it led to despair and depression. I prayed and hung out with friends, but nothing seemed to help. I eventually talked to my pastor about it and he recommended seeing a Christian therapist. There’s a stigma around seeing a therapist. I was totally against it at first. I thought it was only for crazy people. I thought that I was strong enough on my own to deal with it even though I felt so weak. I felt that I wasn’t needed, loved, or wanted. I felt isolated and abandoned.

Even though I had all of those feelings swimming around in my head, I thought I could overcome them on my own. But the thoughts were pervasive. It got to a point where it was the only thing I could think about. I felt like there was no hope. That’s when I finally realized these thoughts weren’t healthy and they were making me push people away. I made an appointment to see a licensed therapist the same day. It was the best decision I have ever made.

She gave me some coping mechanisms to help me combat loneliness and despair.  She told me to find some scriptures that really stood out to me, write them down and read them aloud to myself every time I felt lonely or abandoned.  These are some scriptures that help me deal with loneliness:

Psalm 25:16-17 says, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.”

Here, David is crying out to God because his own son was against him, the men of Israel went after him, and he was forced to flee from the city and leave his house and family. These verses remind me to always turn to God. He is always there even when no one else is. This reminds me to put my hope in Him always. People can only do so much but God will always comfort me.

Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

To give this a little context, Moses had just died making Joshua the leader of the Israelites. Now, Joshua is tasked with taking God’s people into the promised land. Though this verse doesn’t deal with loneliness specifically, it still comforts me because it lets me know that God is with me. I don’t have to be afraid or fear anything, even loneliness. I can be strong and courageous because God is with me wherever I go.

Hebrews 4:15 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet He did not sin.”

This is a verse I go to whenever I feel discouraged in any way, including feeling lonely. This verse helps me because it lets me know that God understands what I’m feeling. He knows and can empathize with what I’m going through. While on earth Jesus felt the same emotions I feel and yet he did not sin. I can look to him when I feel down and know that he experienced the same thing I did and decided to still follow God. He decided to persevere and keep pressing forward.

It could be so easy to reach out to someone to ease the loneliness, but where would that lead me? It would take away the loneliness for a little while, but then where would I stand with God? What would the moment of temporary pleasure really cost me? This person I’m reaching out to for intimacy will eventually leave, making me feel even more lonely. That person didn’t promise me anything but God promised He would never leave nor forsake me.

Hebrews 13:5 says, “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

God promised that He wouldn’t leave me. He won’t abandon me or leave me helpless. God has my back. He keeps His promises. I’m grateful that He does. This verse reminds me to be grateful for my life as it is right now. Even though I feel lonely right now, I have so much more to be thankful for. Focusing on what I do have and how blessed I am, help me to forget about those feelings of loneliness.

Another way my therapist taught me to battle loneliness is to ask myself what happened to make me feel lonely? Was there an event or something someone did that caused me to feel this way? Why did it make me feel this way? I reflect on my actions and the actions of others and take these questions to the Lord.  I seek Him to find out why it triggered me to feel lonely or abandoned. Then I think about something that made me feel loved. I go to the Lord and ask why does this make me feel loved? How can I feel this all of the time?

I write down these thoughts and scriptures in my journal. So the next time I’m feeling a little lonely or forsaken I can go back to my journal and read the revelations God had given me before. I look back and see how faithful God is. I also write down ways to remember how loved I am. How though, I may be alone, I don’t have to feel lonely. This prompted me to start writing to my future husband. I write letters and prayers for my future husband. This helps me to not only remember God’s promises but wait in expectation for them.

 If journaling isn’t your thing, find a way that’s unique to you so that you can remember God’s victories. Also, remember that loneliness is just a feeling that will pass. Don’t make any permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.  If you feel like it won’t pass, or you’ve felt lonely for a long while, seek help from a professional.

Another thing she told me to do to combat loneliness is to reach out to my friends. That’s why it’s so important to have a good circle of friends that can offer Godly counsel and who you trust. They can pray for you, they can give you scriptures to read, and they can just encourage you to keep living. You all can get together and discuss whatever is going on.

Always go to God in prayer. Be open to God doing new things in your life, like sending you to a therapist. Though journaling is a great way to remember past victories, don’t put God in a box and expect Him to do the same exact thing every time. Let’s make a distinction. Singleness doesn’t necessarily equate to loneliness. Everyone feels lonely at one time or another. They could be by themselves or in a large crowd. Your relationship status doesn’t determine how lonely you feel.The most important thing to remember is, that God will not leave you. He will not forsake you. He loves you and wants you complete and whole. Go to God, He will help you.

Our Father,

Thank You, God, for showing us how to cope with feelings of loneliness. Help us to be honest about how we are feeling and confide in You. Show us the root of these feelings so we can cast them out. Help us to depend on You alone for comfort. Lead us to the support we need to be closer to You. Help us to be courageous and know that You are always with us. Let us remember that we are never truly alone. Reveal who we can trust. Help us to put our guard down and be free in You. Thank You for loving us, God.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

Watch the latest podcast episode: Dealing With Loneliness

 

What’s On the Other Side of Obedience?

Posted on February 16, 2018

Have you ever wondered what’s on the other side of obedience? What would happen if we all obeyed God like we say we want to? What would our life look like? What would the world look like?

Seeing the results of our obedience starts with us being obedient to God and His commands. How can we do this? How can we be more obedient to God? First, we must love Him. John 14:15 says, “If you love me, obey my commandments.” Do you love God? If your answer is yes, then I urge you to examine how obedient you are to His commandments. This is a tough area for me personally because I’m not always obedient to what God says to do. That’s why I’m so thankful for His grace and mercy. I’m thankful that He never gives up on me. I’m grateful that I get more than one chance to be obedient. He shows His love to me by giving me life every single day. All I have to do to show my love to God is to be obedient to Him.

As Christians, we should always look to Christ as an example of how we should obey. In Philippians Paul encourages us to have the attitude of Christ.  Philippians 2:6-8 says, “Though He was God, He did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up His divine privileges; He took the humble position of a slave and was born a human being. When he appeared in human form, He humbled Himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.”

In order to be obedient, we have to become more like Christ. We have to humble ourselves like Jesus did. Jesus gave up His divinity in order to save us. He gave up all of His privileges to be obedient to God. He didn’t think more highly of Himself than he could have. He wasn’t selfish. He was loving and compassionate. He worked with one purpose in mind, to obey His Father. In order to be obedient to God, we have to do exactly as Christ did. We have to lay down our own fleshly and selfish desires and put on the characteristics of Christ.  We have to know our purpose and pursue it. God isn’t asking us to make the ultimate sacrifice like Jesus did, He’s just asking us to put Him first and obey Him.

Once we obey God, what’s on the other side of obedience? 2 Chronicles 27:6 says, “King Jotham became powerful because he was careful to live in obedience to the LORD his God.” God gives us power when we are careful to live in obedience to Him. Ezekiel 20:13 says, “But the people of Israel rebelled against me, and they refused to obey my decrees there in the wilderness. They wouldn’t obey my regulations even though obedience would have given them life…” There is life on the other side of obedience. In this context, life means restoration, protection, and prosperity. Job 36:11 says, “If they listen and obey God, they will be blessed with prosperity throughout their lives. All their years will be pleasant.” On the other side of obedience is your blessing. On the other side of obedience is pleasantness. All of your years will be pleasant, not just some.

Let’s look back at Jesus. What was on the other side of His obedience?  Philippians 2:9-11says, ” Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names,  that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Jesus was elevated and given honor. Once we are obedient to God, he will elevate and honor us when the time is right. Let’s not forget the best thing on the other side of obedience, eternal life. 1 Corinthians 9:25 says, “ All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.” We do this for an eternal prize. We obey for eternal life. We obey so that we can live forever in Heaven with our Father, God. On the other side of obeying God is restoration, protection, prosperity, blessing, pleasant years, power, honor, elevation, and most important eternal life in heaven. We get to live forever when we obey God.

Obeying God shouldn’t be about obtaining blessings and favor, although those are great things. We should obey God because He is good and what He has for us is always better than the alternative. God has done so much for us and all He asks in return is that we love Him and obey His commandments. Granted, that isn’t always easy. But why isn’t it easy when we see all that we get from obedience, not only in this life but also in the hereafter? Disobedience not only delays our destiny but the destiny of those people who need our  God-given gifts. We are needed in the earth. We all have a purpose from God and are needed to accomplish His will. If we don’t obey God, what’s on the other side of disobedience?

Judges 2:10-13 says, “After that whole generation had been gathered to their ancestors, another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel. Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord and served the Baals. They forsook the Lord, the God of their ancestors, who had brought them out of Egypt. They followed and worshiped various gods of the peoples around them. They aroused the Lord’s anger because they forsook him and served Baal and the Ashtoreths.” Disobedience arouses God’s anger. Disobedience is a sin. Sin always separates us from God. Sin caused Adam and Eve to run away from God. Sin caused the people of Israel to run to other gods. Sin disrupts our relationship with God. When we aren’t in right relationship with God, we are outside of His protection. Our prayers don’t reach Him as well as they used to. On the other side of disobedience is God’s anger and separation from Him. So, what’s keeping us from fully obeying God? 

What has kept me from fully obeying God is following my own selfish desires. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. Which really means that I didn’t trust God enough to keep me. I didn’t trust that God would do what He promised. What’s keeping you from fully obeying God? Do you trust Him? Do you love Him? Is there another reason? This is the perfect time to go to God and ask Him to reveal to you what’s really keeping you from obeying Him. Once you get the answer, ask Him how to turn from that. He loves all of us so much that He will reveal Himself strong in your weak area. We don’t have to do it alone. God has given us His strength to accomplish those things we can’t do on our own. That thing you’ve been praying for is on the other side of your obedience. God’s promises are on the other side of your obedience. All you have to do is love Him and obey.

Our Father,

You are awesome! We see what you have done for all those who are obedient to You. Thank you for showing us love, kindness, and mercy throughout our disobedience. We love You, God, show us how to obey you completely. Reveal what is hindering us from fully submitting to You. We desire eternal life with You. Help us to put You first and love You more. Help us to put on the attitude of Christ. Be strong where we are weak Lord. We desire to be in right relationship with You God. 

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

1 Samuel 15:22  (NLT)

But Samuel replied,

“What is more pleasing to the Lord:
    your burnt offerings and sacrifices
    or your obedience to his voice?
Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice,
    and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.

He Who Strengthens Me

Posted on January 19, 2018

Today is the 5th day of being grateful for my life as it is now. While I’m still looking forward to what is to come, I’m learning more and more to appreciate what is. I feel like I’ve been trying for so long to obtain this feeling that I thought it was elusive. I thought it was just something people talked about but never achieved. I’m actually content with my life. I’m actually at peace.

It has taken me almost 32.5 years to get to this place. To truly experience the peace that surpasses understanding. I have the least amount of money I’ve ever had in my adult life. I’m starting new businesses and jobs. I have no boyfriend or any prospects. I’m supposed to be worried. I’m supposed to be struggling to figure out my next step. Yet, I’m not.

Why after all this time of being a believer am I just now believing? Why am I just now taking God at His word? What happened that I now trust Him with my life? I started putting God first. I mean for real.

One of my new year’s resolutions is to be more intentional with and about God. I want to consult Him about every decision I make. Whether It’s big or small. I’m spending more time in prayer and I’m studying the bible more. Last weekend it hit me. My pastor has been preaching an awesome series on peace. For some reason, the revelation that I can obtain peace through Christ because He strengthens me took my breath away.

Philippians 4:13 is a popular scripture. It’s quoted everywhere and people say it all the time, including me. But it wasn’t until last Sunday that the head knowledge finally trickled down into my heart. I finally realized that I don’t have the strength on my own to be totally at peace and I’m not supposed to.

It’s just so crazy how I’ve basically heard this repeated over and over my entire life, but I’m just now understanding it. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That took such a load off of my shoulders. It seems so obvious, but that’s the secret to being content. To allow Christ to strengthen you.

You’re probably thinking, duh, that’s exactly what the scripture says. Yeah, I know that’s what it says but I have been doing things in my own strength for so long that I fooled myself into thinking it was God. I thought I was allowing Him to strengthen me. But I wasn’t. I can’t even blame it on the devil. It was me. I thought I had to be strong in my own right. I’m glad I let that go because I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never been so grateful for my life and how He gives me the strength to remain satisfied.

I always thought about peace as an abstract concept. Like it’s for everybody else, but I’ll just have to fight through. I always thought it would just be my portion in life to be frustrated and slightly confused. Maybe I thought that because I’ve never seen real peace before. Maybe I thought that because I didn’t really believe God would do that for me. Because why me? What do I deserve? Yet here I am living in peace because God deemed me worthy.

God has literally blown my mind this year and we’re only 19 days in. I want every person to feel this peace and gratitude by simply relying on Jesus. I know firsthand that it’s easier said than done,  but I promise it’s worth it. Just try it out. Just give putting God first in everything a try. He won’t disappoint you.

Our Father,

I thank You, God, for my life as it is now. Thank You that Your grace and mercy are new every day. Help me to renew my mind each new day. Help me to put You first in every area of my life. Give me revelation, knowledge, and understanding of Your word so that I may live in the peace that only You can provide. Help me to let go and allow You to give me the strength I need.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

 

Philippians 4:12-13 (NLT)

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.

God Is Still Faithful

Posted on December 29, 2017

No matter what has taken place this year, remember that God is still faithful. In these last few days of 2017, God can do whatever He promised. There are countless examples in the bible where God’s promises have come to pass.

Remember when God promised Abraham and Sarai a child? Abraham and Sarai birthed Isaac. God kept His promise. Genesis 21:1-2–Then the LORD took note of Sarai as He had said, and the LORD did for Sarai as He had promised. So Sarai conceived and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the appointed time of which God had spoken to him.

Remember when God promised to take the people of Israel to the promised land? They had some detours and hardships on the way, but God kept His promise and provided for them along the way.  Joshua 21:45–Not one of the good promises which the LORD had made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass.

Remember when God promised the Israelites deliverance from their enslavement? He kept His promise and set them free.  Exodus 13:3–So Moses said to the people, “This is a day to remember forever—the day you left Egypt, the place of your slavery. Today the Lord has brought you out by the power of his mighty hand.”

Didn’t God promise us a redeemer, a messiah, one who would save the world? Didn’t he give us His only Son, Jesus? John 3:16–For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

What has God promised you? He will keep his word. Numbers 23:19 says, “God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent; Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?” As we approach a new year, don’t forget about the promises God has kept this year.

Keep trusting God for all of the promises that have yet to come. The wait will only make you stronger. Habakkuk 2:3 says, “For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail; though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.”

Though the year is almost up, the time hasn’t run out for God. God is still the same miracle-working, way-making, promise-keeping God that He has always been. Do you believe that He can still do a major work in your life? Do you still trust Him to be as faithful as He has always been? Do you believe that God can move in your life in a major way, even now?

I admit that there have been days throughout the year when I lost faith. I lost hope. I actually believed that God had changed His mind and forgot about me. During these low moments, the Holy Spirit reminded me God is still faithful. He delivered on every one of His promises so far, why would He stop now?

For the remainder of this year, and for the year to come, it is my prayer that you and I remember and rely on the faithfulness of God. Hebrews 13:5 says, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He, Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” That’s another promise He continues to keep. God will not leave us, He will always provide for us.

God is still faithful. This statement has honestly gotten me through some of my lowest moments. No matter the circumstance God is still faithful. It’s not always easy to remember this when times get rough, but believe me when I tell you God is still faithful. He will do what he said. I believe it with everything in me; God is still faithful. For this reason, I refuse to let go. I will not give up. I will hold tight to Him, and not just for what He’ll do for me. I’ll hold on because God is still good, He’s still loving, and He’s still faithful.

Our Father,

You are holy. I give you all the praise and honor. I come to You asking for forgiveness for losing hope in You. Thank You, God, for restoring my joy and faith in You. Thank You for reminding me of Your faithfulness. Without faith, it is impossible to please You. Help me to hold tightly to my faith in You. You have proven yourself over and over again. I trust You, Lord for Your word is true. Thank You for renewing my hope.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Hebrews 10:23 (NLT)

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

Have a happy new year!

Living My Best Life

Posted on December 15, 2017

As I think about what I want to accomplish in the coming year, the phrase living my best life comes to mind. That phrase is not just a popular hashtag. It’s a phrase that encompasses an attitude about a life that I want to have. A certain freedom that I long for. What does living my best life really look like? Does it mean my dream life or making the best out of what I have now?

I believe I can have it now. I’m making the decision to be happy. Regardless of what is happening in my life, I can appreciate it. I can choose happiness. I can choose to have joy. My best life looks like me living for me. My best life looks like me making decisions that allow me to be free in my finances, free in my spirit, and free from emotional baggage. Living my best life looks like freedom. Freedom in all aspects of life.

I want to be free from the trappings and materialistic things the world says are necessary. I want to be free from other people’s opinions. I don’t want to sit at a desk working to build someone else’s dream. I cannot allow my God-given gifts to go to waste. I want to be free to pursue whatever passion God puts on my heart. The freedom I want is dependent solely on me and God. No one else gets a say.

Living my best life means that whether I’m married or single, I am who I was created to be. I don’t know how long that will take. Maybe it will happen next year, or maybe it will take a decade. I don’t know how long it may take but, I’ve decided to be free. I don’t want to be the old person with regrets. I’m willing to risk it all just for a moment of freedom.  I’m not even quite sure what this freedom looks like, but I know I’ll achieve it.

All I’ve ever seen is the daily grind. You wake up, go to work, come home, pay bills, live a little on the weekend, and that’s pretty much it. Isn’t there more to life? I’m not disparaging anyone living that life. There is nothing wrong with it. I am grateful for it. But this intense desire to be free came from God and I’m going to pursue it with everything in me. I can no longer ignore it. I can grow and live in the freedom God provides.

I cannot and will not allow myself to wonder if there is more to life. I’m going to find out. If I fail, I’ll still gain invaluable experience. But what if I succeed beyond my wildest dreams? What if I do better than I could have ever imagined? Honestly, that scares me the most. If I fail, then no big deal. I’d just be like a bunch of people who go to work and get a steady paycheck. If I succeed if I truly become free, then what? What will my life really look like? I’m ready to find out.

Now, living my best life is not an excuse to take advantage of God’s grace. The wages of sin are still death. I don’t want to die, I want to live. I still believe holiness is the standard. I’m not going to do anything reckless or dangerous. That’s not the type of freedom I’m describing. The type of freedom I want gives me options that allow me to pursue the things God puts on my heart.  

I think the first step to this type of freedom is deciding that I deserve happiness. I’m choosing life. I’m choosing joy. I’m choosing me. I’m choosing to live my best life. Living my best life will lead to me living my dream life. I’m absolutely convinced that it will. The great thing is, I can live my best life today. I don’t have to wait until some magic moment, I can do it now.  I’m ready for a fantastic year for me living my best life. I urge you to live your best life too.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the freedom You have given me through Your son, Jesus. Wherever the spirit of the Lord is there is liberty. Your spirit is in me and I declare now that I am free in the name of Jesus. I set aside every weight and sin that so easily entrap me. I cast all of my cares and worries upon You Jesus. I receive my freedom now. I declare freedom in every area of my life. Thank You for the gift of freedom. Thank You for Your grace and mercy which allow me to move in the freedom You have given. Help me to choose You, to choose joy, to choose to live a life that is worthy of the calling You have placed upon my life. For all these things I bless Your name.

In Jesus’s name,

Amen.

2 Corinthians 3:17 (NLT)

For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Galatians 5:13 (NIV)

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.

John 8:36 (NIV)

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.