Category:

Confidence

Taking Up Space

Taking Up Space

Posted on October 31, 2020

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What does taking up space mean? It means being my authentic self unapologetically. For me, it means saying what I want and what I mean. It means taking up the entire space that God so graciously gave me. Why haven’t I been doing this? Because I was told not to. Maybe not explicitly, but definitely by disapproving looks, and well-meaning advice on how to be and do better.

This advice, while I’m certain wasn’t intended to cause harm, caused me to not fully bloom into who God called me to be.  As I grew into a woman, recurring instances of not being heard when I expressed myself only reinforced the notion that I shouldn’t be myself. I gleaned from my experiences that who I really am isn’t desirable, in any form.  So, in response, I shrank. I made myself small so I could fit in and be desirable.

Shrink.

Shrinking feels exactly like it sounds. It’s tight, hard to breathe, and uncomfortable. There’s never an instance where I could or even would take a deep breath and be free. It’s incredibly isolating. Loneliness was a constant companion. There isn’t much room to move and make waves, so each thought is held captive until there’s absolutely no more room. The release isn’t gentle though. It’s an explosion, oftentimes unwarranted for small matters toward people who didn’t deserve that type of reaction.

Honestly, it had nothing to do with them. It had to do with the position I willingly put myself in. So many people had control over me and my decisions. Instead of relying on the intuition that God gave me through His Holy Spirit, I trusted what everyone else said about me. I never dared to believe that it wasn’t true. I allowed them to label who I am. As a result, I lived and died by other’s expectations. Yet, I am more than they could ever see.

Expand.

The expectation of others is smothering. I’m sure that most, if not all, intended to help me, but their expectations only served to help me suffocate slowly. So, now it’s time to take up the full space that God has given me to occupy. Now, it’s time to finally breathe. But, what does that look like? It looks like me saying what God has told me to say. It looks like me living the abundant life Yeshua Christ gave me to live. This life is braver, bolder, happier, and unapologetically mine. No more time for excuses and no more condemnation. At last, I am able to fully expand and take up every inch of the life God gave me.

Embrace and Enjoy.

So now it’s time to embrace and enjoy this life. God taught me that there is always hope. As long as I continue to trust Him, there is always a plan for me to prosper. While the journey may be hard at times, I’m determined to embrace it and enjoy it. It’s time to do what God has specifically placed me on this earth to do. Taking up space requires us to live differently than we have before. Let’s follow the paths God planned and have fun doing it. There is no reason to cower in fear because of the victory we have in Yeshua Christ. We are all on a journey. Why not embrace it, enjoy it, and take up all of the space we’re given?

Thank you for joining me on this journey through singleness!

Kim

Recommended Resources:

www.singleinchrist.org

www.gotquestions.org

almost doesn't count

Almost Doesn’t Count

Posted on August 22, 2020

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There have been a lot of almosts in my life lately. I was almost in a relationship. I almost had a job I wanted. Unfortunately, almost doesn’t count. Being so close and so far away at the same time is an interesting predicament.

I’m tired of almost. It feels like failure. So many failures in such a short period seem unfair. I know what God says about me. He says that I’m more than an overcomer. He says that in Him, I have the victory. His word calls me chosen, loved, victorious, wonderful, and valuable. Scripture His word says that He’ll give me peace that surpasses all understanding, and He’ll be close to me when I’m brokenhearted. 

Yet, it’s hard to remember all that when all I can see are the failures of almost successes piling up around me. It’s hard to see the victory in Jesus when what I feel is the pain of another no. I understand that everyone goes through this. I’m supposed to rejoice during trials because it will produce character, patience, faith, and a hope that doesn’t disappoint. So, why do I still feel this way?

How do I overcome the disappointment of these scenarios that almost worked out didn’t. Where can I gather my strength and rejoice when I feel so weak again? I still pray and rely on God. My hope comes from Him. Relying on God is much easier to say than to do. Pain has a way of overshadowing everything. Thanks be to God that He always hears. Amid my tear-filled prayers, He always sends an answer.

He reminded me to be grateful. Instead of thinking about what didn’t work, I started thinking about what is working. I filled my thoughts with gratitude for all that He has done. For every one thing I perceived to be horrible, I realized there are at least 2-3 things that amazing. Gratitude changed my perspective from almost doesn’t count to better is coming.

I encourage you to think about things that are good, praiseworthy, excellent, and holy. Then be grateful for what you have and what is coming. Because in God, there is always better. Those opportunities that God has for me will not pass by me. His promises won’t pass you by either. Take heart, although almost doesn’t count, in God, nothing is in vain. Not even your pain.

Thanks for joining me through my journey through singleness,

 Kim

Last Single Valentine's Day

Sexual Desires

Posted on August 4, 2020

Lately, I’m not sure what’s going on but I have been really hot in the pants. As a single Christian woman, I want to live right but these sexual desires just aren’t going away. So, what am I supposed to do with them? I don’t necessarily want them to go away, but I also don’t want to act on them. Now I’m left with these sexual desires and no way to fulfill them.

Ask God

So, I came to God with all of these emotions and desires and asked Him what to do with them. How can I use these feelings to glorify Him? What can I do to not fall into temptation? For 6 years I suppressed these desires. Church taught me that sex was bad and dirty until marriage. So, I didn’t have sex. To avoid sex, I didn’t interact with men. But I wanted marriage and I was tired of being lonely and frustrated. So, in late 2018 I began dating.

Intimate Relationships

The problem was I never reconciled how to have an intimate relationship with a man without having sex. To remedy this, I set up boundaries. My boundaries included no phone calls, dates, or texts after 10:30 pm. Dates were planned well in advance in public places. Under no circumstance was I to be alone in the dark with a man. As time progressed and I went on more dates, my boundaries started to fade away. I justified breaking my own rules by telling myself I was strong enough to not sin. Plus, I was living with my parents at the time and I thought, what could happen? That was my biggest mistake.

Failing

The second half of 2019 was a mess. I was too prideful and grown for my good. I ended up having sex. There was no way I can date and remain holy without boundaries. I thought I was good and ended up falling. It seemed like I was getting away with it, so I kept going. No one knew and I still accomplished some really good things. Yet, those close to me saw a subtle difference. They knew something was wrong. I knew that life wasn’t sustainable. The wage of sin is death. I allowed my flesh to rule and even though on the surface 2019 was a great year, what I most remember was my failure to live a life that was pleasing to God.

Redeemed

The death wasn’t so visible at first. I was still in church, singing on the praise team, and leading the singles ministry. But I wasn’t praying like I used to. I couldn’t hear God as clearly as before. I’m sure I missed some critical instructions by being disobedient. But I let my flesh win for the better part of a year. By the end of 2019, I was crying out to God for mercy. I settled and compromised and landed in a place far from God. He healed me, forgave me, and delivered me. I have no intentions to go back to that place.

What Now?

Yet, these sexual desires aren’t going away. They are loud and calling out to me almost every day. So again, what am I supposed to do? I have to come to terms with the fact that I’m going to be horny and it doesn’t make me less of a person. It’s not dirty or wrong to have these desires. What is wrong is when I act upon them outside of marriage. God gave me the sexual desires just like He gave me the desire to follow Him. Now that I know nothing is wrong with me, how do I navigate these sexual desires? I contemplated having sex again, but the Holy Spirit quickly convicted me. The next step was to determine if I wanted an orgasm or companionship. Because I’m so used to not having one without the other in romantic relationships, I confused those emotions.

With my boundaries back in place, I started dating and found the companionship I desired, but sometimes that sexual feeling won’t go away. I’m determined to do right by God this time. So, when these feelings become too intense, I pray and tell God about it. Since God gave me these feelings and He knows about it, I talk to Him. Then I do something positive like praise, sing, dance, read, or exercise. These activities help me to get my mind on something other than my desires.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need…”

(Hebrews 4:15-16)
Not Alone

The most important thing I had to realize was that I wasn’t alone. There are so many other single Christians desiring to live holy. We cannot do it on our own. We must enlist the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit and the help of Godly people. The last time I felt too hot, I reached out to my friends and asked for prayer. I confessed what I was thinking and allowed them to pray with me and for me. Get some praying friends y’all. It makes all the difference. I know it isn’t easy to be single and horny, but you don’t have to do it alone. Learn from my mistakes. Take the time to work on your heart instead of your behavior and God will do the rest.

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail.

(James 5:16)

Thanks for joining me on my journey through singleness,

Kim.

P.S. Christ’s blood has redeemed me and declared me not guilty. I choose to live in that truth and try not to dwell on my mistakes. I pray that you live in that truth as well.

Recommended Resources

The Intimacy Firm

Secret Sin

single after 30

Single After 30

Posted on July 18, 2020

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So, you’re single after 30 and still not married. You may be feeling societal or familial pressure at this point. Or you may hear your biological clock ticking louder and louder as the days go by. If you’re like me, you’re probably tired of the ever-ubiquitous questions regarding your dating life.  I know it’s tiring and frustrating. So let me ask you a question.

How Are You?

How are you doing? It’s okay to admit how you are feeling about being single. Also, take the time to examine why you’re feeling that way. Make sure your feelings are not from any outside pressure. Your feelings should reflect on what you desire. Are you enjoying the single life? The season of singleness is the perfect opportunity to live out what God has called you to do. Now is the time to have fun and become the person you are supposed to be. There is no need to wait for a relationship to begin living.

Your life should be full outside of a relationship. If you are unhappy, there is still time to change it.  The journey is just as rewarding as the destination. This is also a time to examine if you want marriage. The truth is, not all of God’s children will get married. It’s also okay to desire marriage. But wallowing in self-pity or replaying past love stories isn’t the way to get there. Begin enjoying your life. What are you waiting for?

Past Relationships

Do you ever find yourself thinking about past relationships and playing the what-if game? If I had only done this, or if he had done that I would be married by now. That’s a dangerous game to play because unless it was a horrific abuse-filled relationship, we tend to romanticize the past a bit. The past is the past for a reason. Honestly, is there anyone in your past that would have said yes to? If so, why aren’t you all together now?

Something happened to cause the relationship to end. Maybe it was him, or maybe it was you. Did either of you have the emotional maturity or communication skills to sustain the relationship until now? There is nothing wrong with looking in the past to get a reference for how far you’ve come or to look at the lessons learned. However, don’t live there. If there isn’t anyone who you would have said yes to, forge ahead. Either way, the best is yet to come. 

Continue Working on Yourself

By working on yourself I don’t mean strive for perfection. Perfection is not a requirement in this life. It’s also not a requirement for marriage. If it was, no one would be married. Reject the notion of perfection and embrace excellence. Become the best you possible. If that means getting out of debt or living a healthier lifestyle, do it. Operating in a spirit of excellence doesn’t require a partner. You can do it while still single.

You’ll be doing this even after marriage so go ahead and get into the practice of examining your mindset and life. Some areas may need work, others may not. Continue to work on your communication skills. Start the business you always wanted. Become proud of who you are and the life you’re living. If you desire marriage, this will only make you more attractive to your potential mate.

Who are You Attracting?

We all have a type.  A preference for the type of person we want to date and eventually marry. That type isn’t necessarily who we are attracting. I don’t believe you attract who you are. We attract all types of people. It’s up to us to use our God-given discernment and wisdom to determine who to say yes to. The better question is who are you saying yes to? There is no obligation to enter into a relationship with any person that approaches. Test the spirit by the spirit. Only say yes to those people who God says yes to also.

In truth, the people we enter into relationship with are a reflection of us. Why would you enter into any type of relationship with a dusty crusty person? Once their character is revealed, say no and move on. Saying yes to a person shows how much or how little you value yourself and your goals. This applies to every relationship, not just romantic ones.

Mindset

Saying yes to the right people might mean you need to change your mindset. Who do you believe you are? What do you think you’re worthy of? Do you even believe you can attract the person you want? Renew your mind in Christ daily. Changing your mindset my not stop certain people from approaching, but it will make you stop saying yes to people who do not fit your destiny.

Once you believe you can do something, all of a sudden that thing becomes possible. Changing the way, you think about yourself and what you deserve will impact every area of your life. You’ll begin to see life differently and start living worthily of the calling God has placed upon you.

Redefine Success

All too often we’re taught that a successful relationship ends in marriage. What if we change that narrative? Why do we always center marriage as the only way a relationship is successful? Although dating a person may not ultimately work out, there are so many valuable lessons to learn along the way. Each lesson learned is a success. Nothing is a waste of time. Success doesn’t have to look like a married couple in a mansion. It can also look like a single woman living debt-free. It can be whatever you make it.

Singleness is a time to explore and learn more about yourself. Live as much as possible. Pursue God and you’ll find happiness in Him. Being single doesn’t mean that you are alone. Celebrate friends and family just as much as you celebrate being in a romantic relationship. Having a well-rounded life that doesn’t revolve around anything other than God is what success looks like to me.

Thanks for joining me on the journey through singleness,

Kim

Recommended Resources:

Pray. Listen. Obey.

Black and Christian

Black And Christian

Posted on June 29, 2020

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Ever since the social unrest and racial injustices erupted, I’ve been torn. Where does my allegiance lie? Do I have to choose between my blackness and my God? How can I reconcile being Black and Christian?

Black

Seeing my black brothers and sisters gunned down and murdered in the street grieves my heart. How is this still happening? And why does it seem to happen predominantly to us Black folk? What did we do to deserve this? What can we do to fight this? Something has to change. So,  I prayed to God about what I should do specifically as a Black and Christian woman. 

How can I improve our plight as Black people in America? I’ve called, emailed, protested, and donated, but there must be something else I can do. What is my specific assignment in all of this? How can I continue on as normal, as if this isn’t happening? Black people are facing discrimination and being mistreated simply because of the color of their skin.  A lot of this is being perpetrated by other Christians. These are people who claim to love God and HIs people, yet aren’t showing that Godly love toward their Black sisters and brothers.

Christian

So, how can I reconcile this? Jesus told us to forgive our trespassers. He commands that we turn the other cheek and pray for our enemies. The bible is clear on this. Yet, it’s hard to do. I’m not turning my back on God. God is rooted in me. So, now I have to reconcile forgiving the same people who continue to dismiss my blackness and treat me less than because of it. I am commanded by the God who saved me to forgive the very same people who stole my ancestors from their native land and forced them into chattel slavery. Those same people then terrorized and dehumanized my people for centuries. They have yet to apologize or even admit any wrongdoing and I’m supposed to forgive them.

Jesus, I need your help on this one. You showed so much compassion and love in Your short time on earth. You fed the hungry and broke bread with the oppressed. Give me Your heart on this matter. Help me to see them as You do. Allow me to show the same compassion, love, and grace that You extend to all who know You. Help me to do this even though it may not be reciprocated. Help me to choose You in every circumstance. 

Black and Christian

I can be both unapologetically Black and Christian. There is no choice. I am both at the same time. Both identities are so intertwined in me that there cannot be a separation. I am who God called me to be. I am a Black Christian woman. My hope is still in God. The blood still works. My skin is still black and I will continue fighting for the righteous causes of Black folk. I am confident I will see the goodness of the Lord, here in the land of the living. During these trying times, I believe in a better future, even in the face of racial injustice. God is still working and sits high on the throne. Although this country hasn’t admitted to its crimes, I know that God hears the cries of His people.

So, as Black Christians let’s use the power and authority given to us by God to help heal the land. We are a unique, gifted, and talented people. Let’s use our voices to continue to fight against discrimination and racism. There is still a fight going on and we must be ready to do our part. My part is to forgive as God commanded so that I will no longer harbor any bitterness and anger. It’s time to overcome the hatred with the greatest love the world has ever known. There is no control over whether the other side will reciprocate that love. All I know is we’re going to get through this being Black and Christian. 

Hope

Things are getting better incrementally. I suppose I want God to come down and make everything better now. The Hebrews were in bondage in Egypt for 430 years and were delivered only to wander in the desert for 40 years and still had to fight to get into the promised land and fight once they got there. So, it will be a process, and even if I don’t live to see the total liberation and deliverance of my black people I know that God is faithful and it’s coming. So, I rejoice to know that adversity will produce character, faith, and hope.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9: We are hard-pressed on all sides, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed. 

Thanks for joining me on my journey through singleness,

Kim

Check Out: Am I Who I Post to Be?

Dating Grace

Dating Grace

Posted on May 11, 2020

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It’s been less than 2 years since I’ve committed to seriously dating, so I’m giving myself dating grace. What does dating grace mean? In this context, it means having compassion and room to learn and grow without condemnation. Instead of putting pressure on myself to have the perfect dating life, I decided to celebrate where and I am and the progress I’ve made so far.

Where I Started

I took a break from dating for 6 years. So, when I decided to finally jump back into the dating arena I was super rusty. I was so nervous I couldn’t look a man in the eye. I turned and walked in the opposite direction when I saw an attractive man. Needless to say, but I was trash at dating. To overcome my nervousness, I intentionally smiled at every man I saw. Once I conquered looking at men, I had to start speaking to them.

See, I had a mumble mouth when it came to men. I stuttered and stumbled on words so much that I abandoned conversation altogether. Since my conversational skills were lacking, I came up with date questions so that the conversation could flow. If I got nervous, I asked a question. It took time to keep a conversation flowing. As a result, I would never get beyond a first date.  Yet, I persisted despite the rejection.

Rejection

As my confidence, conversational, and flirtation skills improved I got asked out again. While I saw this as a major accomplishment, I still feared rejection. Let’s be real, rejection is not a fun part of life. People tell you no all the time. Since most of my dating interactions ended after the first date, I learned to accept rejection for what it is and what it isn’t. I learned that rejection isn’t necessarily a reflection of me. It’s just a part of the process. Not only will I deal with rejection, but I will also be the one rejecting others. 

This was an uncomfortable emotion for me. I still tend to avoid things and people for fear of rejection. However, I decided to move forward despite the fear.  Although rejection is a real possibility, I won’t let it stop me anymore. 

Where I Am Now

I’m proud of the steps I’ve taken to conquer fear and learn new skills to improve my dating life. These skills help me in other areas as well. Appreciating where I am, even though I’m not where I want to be, is something I don’t do often enough. I usually beat myself up for not being farther along. My mind plays out every past mistake and wrong turn. Weirdly, dating helped me receive the grace that God offers so freely. It’s allowed me to see that my past doesn’t define me. I don’t live under condemnation. So, now it’s time to extend the same grace to me. 

At the End of the Day

Progress is better than perfection. I’m taking life one intentional step at a time. The lessons I learned extend beyond dating to life in general. I’m trusting God more and more with each step. Accepting His will for my life isn’t easy. I love having control, but surrendering to Him is the best decision I ever made. I’m excited about the future He has for me. While I’m happy with the progress I’ve made so far, I have no updates in the dating world. Although there aren’t any updates, God’s promises are still yes and amen. I’m holding tight to that.

Thanks for joining me on my journey through singleness,

Kim

Recommended Resources

Quarantine Dating

A right relationship

A Right Relationship

Posted on April 27, 2020

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A friend recently asked me what is my goal as a Christian? The first thing that popped into my mind was a right relationship with God. But what does that look like for me? How can I have a relationship with God and not the same old traditional religion I’m used to?

Religion

For a long time, I thought the key to having the right relationship with God was to put a lot of effort into my works. I committed myself to the works of the church but never developed a real relationship with God beyond that. In retrospect, that’s legalistic and religious. God doesn’t desire me to be a performance Christian. He desires my heart and mind. He wants me not my behavior.

But, I decided that to be a good Christian all I needed to do was churchy things. I regularly went to church, tithed, and did other church work. However, my spirit yearned for more. Doing all the churchy things wasn’t enough. I wanted His presence to be with me every day, not only Sunday. Shouting and being filled with the Holy Spirit in a church is great, but I want to experience His spirit always. I want to dwell in His presence forever.

Relationship

To develop a true relationship with God I am changing my mindset and evaluating myself. A personal relationship with God requires that I spend time and communicate with Him. I must also see myself as He sees me.  Part of the reason why I didn’t experience the relationship I wanted is that I didn’t believe I deserved it. I didn’t believe what God said about me. Now I know that I am the daughter of the King. I am forgiven. I’m rescued and redeemed. I’m clean and in right standing with God. 

Yet, I still struggle with believing His promises are for me.  I pray and study His word, but there is still doubt. So, I put together plans and steps to obtain the desires of my heart. I let God in a little but retained some control by sticking steadfastly to my plan. I tried to put work behind my faith without fully surrendering my heart to God. He’ll place the desires in my heart, but first I have to give him my heart. To wholly surrender I must first believe. It’s impossible to please God without faith. 

Belief

The thing is, I want to believe. There’s no problem with me believing God for other people. I will pray and speak life over others and see God move in their life just like I knew He would. However, I know in my head He’ll come through for me, but I make a backup plan just in case. God, I want to let go and trust you fully, but I don’t know the way. So, I pray and consume the things of God. I put so much of Him and His word in me that there will be no room for doubt or unbelief. 

Reality Check

I may be putting too much pressure on myself. I’ve been known to overthink and complicate simple matters. My relationship with God means so much to me and I want a relationship with Him. I want to be with Him on earth and in heaven. Thankfully, my faith is getting stronger every day. He’s given me the desire to pursue Him and spend more time with Him. I give Him every thought that doesn’t line up with His word. This is only the beginning. I’m grateful that He’s still calling my name and I’m willing to obey.

Thanks for joining me on my journey through singleness,

Kim

Recommended Resources

Corona Chronicles

Quarantine Dating

Quarantine Dating

Posted on April 20, 2020

Quarantine dating? How can people possibly date during the Quarantine? Aren’t we supposed to socially distance ourselves from one another? Aren’t we supposed to be staying in our homes and away from people? Yes, we most certainly are. But we can still date and here’s how.

Online dating

Since stay-at-home orders are in place, there’s no way to meet people to date other than online dating. It’s still possible to meet someone at the grocery store while wearing your mask and gloves. However, the chances are slim for that to happen. So meet your potential date by logging onto your favorite online dating apps or websites and just poke around. Make a bomb profile with a cute profile picture and swipe. These sites are popping right now. Quality men and women seeking serious relationships and marriage are on those sites. Be sure to use your God-given discernment and the guidance of the Holy Spirit when deciding with whom to converse.

Communication

If you happen to meet someone you like then you can text, call, and video chat. There is no better time to get to know someone on a deeper level than during this quarantine. All non-essential businesses are closed. We have to stay at least 6 feet away from people in public. Nothing is operating normally. All you have is your phone, time, and the Internet. Take all this free time and get to know someone. After all, one of the best ways to learn someone on a deeper level is to talk. Find a comfortable and cute place in your home and talk. Notice things about the background and inquire about them. Take them on a tour of an area that you cherish and explain why it means so much to you. When this quarantine is over, you’ll meet and your connection will be that much deeper.

Reality Check

You may not feel like this is the appropriate time to date. It is completely valid to not want to date during a global pandemic. While you have all this free time, figure out what’s important to you. Pray and ask God what you’re supposed to be doing with this time. God will surely tell you what you’re supposed to do. Filter every decision through Him. If He tells you to continue dating, great! If He tells you to spend more time with Him, even better! Be sure to listen to and obey God. Dating is still possible during the quarantine and it can be fun too!

Thanks for joining me on my journey through singleness,

Kim

Corona Chronicles

Corona Chronicles

Posted on April 8, 2020

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This hasn’t been an easy time for most of us. The media is pushing the narrative that we should be afraid and worried. While there is cause for concern, my attitude at the outbreak of the pandemic was decidedly positive. I was confident that God would see me and everyone connected to me safely through it. Then, I lost my job. 

The First Blow

That was the first blow. The economy is up and down due to That Rona. Now is no time to be without a job. Thankfully, I saw it coming and was able to obtain another job the following Monday. While the downturn in the economy and the job market has been detrimental to many, God allowed me to keep working. So while it looked down for a little, I still trusted God to see me through and He did exactly that. Then, my parents fell ill.

The Second Blow

Around the time I started my new job, my parents fell ill with what they thought was the flu. My mom told us not to come over because they were sick. With everything going on with That Rona, my sister and I suggested they go get tested for it just to rule it out. They were adamant that they didn’t have it. Yet, their illnesses worsened. My mom said it felt like the worse flu she’s ever had. My dad wasn’t talking because he was so short of breath. After a couple of days, my mom started getting better, but my dad didn’t. His breathing worsened.

Coronavirus

One night, my mom noticed that he was too weak and breathing too shallowly. She took him to the ER and he was admitted at once. 12 hours later he was diagnosed with COVID-19.  He was taken to ICU and put on a ventilator because he was too weak to breathe on his own. My mom was diagnosed with COVID-19 the next day. I thank God that they were in the position to go to a doctor and be diagnosed. My mom was told to quarantine herself at home for two weeks since her symptoms didn’t require hospitalization. 

Praying Friends

The next two weeks were so scary. The details of That Rona are so unknown, even now. There are conflicting reports of what we should do, what we should wear, even what the symptoms are. The only thing I did know is that God would see me through this. However, I didn’t know what to pray. I had no words. I had never felt this way before. This was unchartered territory for me. My heart kept telling me to pray and the only thing I could muster was God, help! So I did the only thing I knew to do, I reached out to people to pray for me. They prayed hard and fervently and carried me and my family to the throne of grace day after day until my father came home well. God is performing miracles during the Coronavirus pandemic.

God is Good

I’m so grateful that my story ended well, many people don’t have that privilege. I’m well aware of the part that God’s grace and mercy played in the story of my family. Although That Rona is still out there causing devastation and keeping us away from one another, I’ve seen God do so many miraculous things in such a short time. He’s a healer, He’s a promise keeper, He’s a waymaker, and He hears our prayers. The fervent and effectual prayers of the righteous still avail much. God is still performing miracles during the Coronavirus pandemic. Keep praying y’all. If you can’t pray, pray His word and reach out to people to pray for you. Love y’all and stay safe out there!

Thanks for joining me on my journey through singleness,

Kim.

Recommended Resources

www.singleinchrist.org

www.gotquestions.org

Dear Lost Me

Dear Lost Me

Posted on March 2, 2020

The following is a letter I wrote to myself during a very dark and confusing time. I was fresh out of a 5-year relationship and my heart was utterly destroyed. I felt hopeless and unworthy. So, I wrote this letter to remind myself of who I am, and whose I am. This letter serves as a testament to God’s redeeming love.  If you ever happen to find yourself in a place of despair, cry out to Jesus. Go to His Word and remind yourself of His promises. He will never leave you nor forsake you. At the end of this letter is a short prayer and scripture that I encourage you to read aloud and declare over yourself. Remember that you are always loved!

Dear Lost Me,

You are a true treasure. Fearfully and wonderfully made by the one true God Almighty. You are beautiful and deserve to be loved. Do not compromise yourself. You are worthy of the love of Christ. Do not lower your standards for the benefit of anyone. If someone doesn’t value you as you are, respect yourself enough to remove yourself from that situation. Be afraid no longer! Confidence looks beautiful on you. Confidence in who you are as a person and in Christ will allow you to not worry about other people.  God chose you specifically for the purpose He set out for you. If the Creator of the universe allowed His only Son to die just to prove His love for you, how could you not be deserving of the love of mere men?

Love Yourself

Let me be clear, the love of a human will never complete you. Please learn to love yourself completely. You are a loving, wonderful, and beautiful person. You can only become complete through total surrender to God. Completely shed your old self and put on your new self. Yes, you’ve made mistakes and you’re not perfect, but your past no longer defines you. You are now saved and redeemed. Lift your eyes to the hills. Where does your help come from? It comes from the Lord who is mighty. The Lord is strong and mighty in battle. So don’t worry about the future. God has already provided. His promises are yes and amen when you are obedient to His will. Please don’t give up. I know it’s not easy, but you have to push, you must persevere. You deserve to live a happy life. This kind of happiness will not come from a job or any other human on this earth.

Happiness

This kind of happiness comes from God. It only comes by seeking out His purpose for your life and fulfilling it. Fear will come, but don’t be concerned with that. God did not give you the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound judgment. You have overcome so much. Do not let fear, confusion, or other people’s opinions hinder your God-given purpose. You are led by the living Holy Spirit. Trust Him. The Holy Spirit will guide you in the right direction. I love you so much. You are uniquely designed to endure. He has put a special anointing on your life. Do not ignore it and do not be distracted from it. Not only will you survive, but you will also prosper according to His riches in glory.

God’s Promises

You may not know the future, but you know God’s promises. It’s amazing to discover just how much God really loves you. Now you realize the kind of love you deserve. You deserve someone who handles you delicately and treasures your heart, mind, and soul. Someone who will put you above all except God. Someone who will help you in holiness and will be led by the Holy Spirit. The love of your life will not make you feel less than because you will not allow it. They will remind you of His love daily. God is showing you how to love and be vulnerable. Allowing people into your heart is not the easiest thing to do. It has been broken, shattered, and disrespected. You’ve allowed God in and let Him heal your brokenness. He’s the ultimate potter and put it back together without a single piece missing.

Trust God

Now that he’s holding your fragile heart in His hands, trust Him with it. Grant Him full access to every dark, confused, distrusting, and broken area. Allow Him to give you peace from the broken pieces. This is a challenging process, but all things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. Let God erase all of the deceit and suspicion of past hurts and fill you with His goodness and kindness. You are already in His hands, give Him room to be your protector and vindicator. His faithful love endures from generation to generation. Remind yourself of His faithfulness every day. It will all be worth it. God promised it would be, and it is so. Love is in you, and so is God. Let your light shine to the world.  Keep growing, keep loving. There’s still work to do.

Prayer

Heavenly Father,

I know You’re preparing me for the next level in You while in this season of singleness. Help me to focus on You and Your Word. Help me to receive everything You have for me. I want to listen and not become distracted. Thank You, God, for just being God all by yourself. I thank You, God, for showing me your love in real and tangible ways. Thank You for instilling confidence within me and guarding my heart; allowing me to dwell in the shadow of the Most High.  I will relentlessly pursue you and your will for my life. Help me to be steadfast, diligent, patient, obedient, and disciplined in You, Father. Thank You, God, for revelation through your Holy Spirit. I desire to please only You, God. 

In Jesus’ name. 
Amen. 

Joshua 1:9 English Standard Version (ESV)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Recommended Resources

Time4Her

A Plan