Bad Dating

So, I haven’t been on a date in about a year. Why not you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. I don’t think I was doing it right. So, I decided to take a break and do some introspection. I wanted to evaluate what I really want and need. My last date is what made me re-evaluate my life. Here’s what happened.

I met this guy on Match.com. He wasn’t the typical guy I usually dated, meaning I wasn’t attracted to him. But God had been working with me on the type of men I liked so I decided to move forward. anyway. He’s a pastor, well-spoken, and loves God so I figured it couldn’t be that bad. I was wrong. As we talk and get to know each other, we discover a mutual interest in Harry Potter. (Yes, I’m a Harry Potter fan.) At the time, a movie called Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was coming out, a sort of Harry Potter prequel. I was very excited and wanted to see it. Naturally, he asked me if I wanted to see it with him and I said yes. Now up to this point, the conversation hadn’t been too great, but I thought when we met in person it might not be so bad. Y’all, it was that bad.

On the day of our first date, I get to the movie theater and he’s late. I’m very forgiving of people being late because I’m always late. I have to stand in the lobby area because there aren’t any seats and he bought the tickets. So, I’m standing there just people-watching, hyping myself up, like this is going to be good. He finally arrives and I realize I have only seen pictures of him from the shoulders up. Oh, the perils of online dating. I sigh inwardly. At this point, I was just hoping his personality would win me over. It didn’t.

We make our way to our seats and he talks throughout the previews about the bible. I mean, I love Jesus too, but I don’t want to talk about whether I interpret Paul’s writings conservatively or liberally on the first date. The movie starts and he begins breathing heavily, like deep sleep heavy.  I look over and his eyes are still open, so he’s not sleeping.  I ask him if he’s alright.  He says yes, but excuses himself to the restroom. As soon as he rounds the corner, I contemplate just leaving. I don’t need heavy breathers in my life. I stay because I really want to watch this movie and the night could still turn around for the better. It didn’t.

When he comes back, he’s still breathing hard and now he’s sweating. I’m thinking to myself, what in the world did he do in the bathroom? I make no comment and continue to watch the movie. He kept sweating and breathing heavily for the rest of the movie. I was low-key annoyed because I was trying to listen to the movie, but kept hearing him breathe. After the movie, he walked me to my car and we had an awkward goodbye. He asked if he could see me again and I gave a noncommittal grunt, patted him on the shoulder, got in my car, and drove away. In retrospect, maybe the date wasn’t that bad, but after having a string of bad dates, I think it was the proverbial straw the broke the camel’s back.

That night I sat down with God and prayed. I realized that I’m not a casual dating type of girl. I need someone that I’m attracted to. He doesn’t have to be my type, but I going to need to be able to look at him for the rest of my life. I need someone who will pray along with me and for me; someone who will have interests outside of the bible. What I need, is my husband. Prayerfully my next relationship will be my last. That’s why I haven’t dated in almost a year. I don’t have the time or energy for anything else other than the real thing. Until I meet or become reacquainted with my husband, I’ll just make sure my heart is positioned to be his wife, living my best life, and giving God the glory.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You, for all of the experiences that have led me to You. Help me to have an open heart and mind regarding the things You have for me. Help me to receive every blessing You have for me. Help me to stay in Your will Father. Thank You, Lord, for Your divine timing. I surrender all to You, Lord. Let Your will be done and Your peace reign. Help me to not move ahead of You, Lord. I desire what You have for me at the time You want me to have it. If I have rejected anything You have sent, Lord, please bring it back around. Open my eyes so that I may see it as a blessing from You. Help me to put You first in all things.  I pray my husband does the same.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen. 

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 (NLT)

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