Am I Who I Post To Be?

Am I who I post that I am? I post about God and living for Him all the time, but is that really who I am in private? Does my life really measure up to what my posts say that I am, or are they just my desire? I don’t want to overestimate my character. I need to do an honest assessment of where I am and what I want.

What I desire is real intimacy with God. No pretenses, no holding back. Just me and Him. I want to be able to be so in tune with Him that I know what He’s going to say. I want to be intentional. This is my prayer. Show me who I really am God; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Reveal to me any character deficiencies that undermine Your power in my life. I give myself to You completely. I give to You my mind body and soul. I want to do better. I see Your hand in everything now. You are renewing my mind each day. I see You. I feel You. You are my peace. You are my strength. All that matters is who I am in You. Help me to let go of everything that is not like you. Give me the strength to let go of people and things that do not advance your kingdom and your presence here on earth. I want to be who I post that I am.

I want to be righteous and holy, pure and unblemished. There’s no way I can do that without You. I want my private life to match my public posts. The truth is this walk with Christ is not always roses, sunshine, and rainbows. But a lot of times the discomfort I experience is just growing pains. I’m being stretched and developed. I’m being called out of the place that I would like to be, to a place God wants me.

I was never one for the spotlight. I was and still am the quiet girl that goes along to get along. But now I have a confidence in who I am that wasn’t there before. I can’t just sit quietly in the back anymore. I have something to say now. There’s more to me than I could have ever imagined. When I started Single In Christ, I honestly thought that I’d just be sharing my journal entries from the past several years. It definitely started out like that. What I didn’t know was that God had other plans in mind. He called me to more. 

This blog has helped me evaluate who I am and what I want. It has changed my outlook on life. Writing every week has made me pray more and seek God for what He wants me to say. This blog has caused me to study the bible. I want to be a conduit for Him, a willing vessel. I’m not perfect, I still don’t spend as much time as I should with Him.  I want to be better. I want to do better. I want to know more. I want to be in true relationship with Him.

I am a different person now. The way I think is changing. The way I spend money is changing. The way I live is changing. I am changing. When I started this blog I told God that I didn’t want to be the poster child for singleness. What ended up happening is that I discovered who God wants me to be. In going to God and asking him about this single season of my life, I discovered my purpose in Him. I developed an intimacy with Him that is indescribable. I am completely in awe of what He has done and what He can do.

I’m actually excited to spend time with Him. I worship more. I listen to Him more. I’ve allowed God into my heart in a way that I didn’t know was possible. I’m forever changed. I wish I had the words to describe this. Who knew that being single would lead me to want more of God and not just a husband.  Prayerfully this encourages you to live boldly for God, no matter what His will is for your life.

I pray you get to know Him for yourself and discover His will for your life. I pray that you are content with just you and God. I pray that you grant Him full access to your life. Let there be no pretenses, nothing hidden. I pray that your life is in full submission to God.

Although my life isn’t looking like I expected, it’s better than I could have ever imagined. I will not apologize for living for Him. I give Him permission to transform me. No one can come into true relationship with Him and not be transformed. I choose to act and react ways that honor God. I choose life. I choose holiness. I choose God.

Romans 12:1-3 NLT

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice–the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves by the faith God has given us.