The One

I’m not sure I believe in the concept of “the one.” I know the world and even some churches spout the idea of only one person for every person out there. But, what if that’s not true? What if there isn’t only one person for me? What if we have to use our wisdom and discernment to decide who is best for us?

I know, I know. We have this entire idea in our heads that there is this one perfect person who will be our soul mate. We hold a fantasy that this person will bring happiness, completion, and satisfaction to our lives once we meet them. I just don’t buy it.

Out of all the billions of people on this earth, only one of them is for me? What if he married another person? What if he dies before I meet him? There are all sorts of scenarios that could keep me from meeting “the one.” That’s why I definitely think there isn’t just one person who is my soul mate.

If there’s no such thing as “the one”, how do we know who to marry? Like I said before, I think that’s where our God-given wisdom and discernment come into play. We know what is attractive and what we want in a future spouse. Let’s ask God in prayer to help us see those characteristics. Let’s make sure that we are desiring what aligns with His will.

We have heard testimonies from people saying God told them this one person was their spouse and they ended up marrying that person. We have also heard testimonies from people who heard God tell them who their spouse is, and that person ended up marrying someone else.

So, what’s going on? Is God telling some people and not others? Are people just attributing their attraction to God? To answer some of these questions, I studied some married couples in the bible. The first, of course, is Adam and Eve (Genesis 2:21-24).

God put Adam to sleep, took part of his side, and built Eve. Yahweh created Eve as a companion who corresponded with Adam. When Adam awoke, God brought Eve to him. Adam then exclaimed, “At last!” Which is in today’s terms is something like “hot diggity dog, finally someone for me!”

God never specifically told Adam to marry Eve, but I guess He didn’t have to. Adam liked what he saw in Eve, called her woman, and had relations with her.

The next couple is Rebekah and Isaac (Genesis 24:12-21, 66-67). Rebekah’s story begins with Abraham wanting a wife for his son Isaac. Abraham sent his servant to find a wife. While the servant was traveling he asked God for a sign. He asked God that the woman to be Isaac’s wife offer him water and offer to water his camels.

Before the servant finished praying, Rebekah was walking by. She had the characteristics he prayed for. Isaac loved her and took her as his wife. Here, God didn’t tell the servant the specific person Isaac should marry, but He did answer his prayers by sending Rebekah. 

The next couple is Hosea and Gomer. Yahweh spoke to Hosea and to him to, “go marry a prostitute who will bear illegitimate children conceived through prostitution because the nation continually commits spiritual prostitution by turning away from the Lord” (Hosea 1:2-3). Hosea was obedient and married a prostitute named Gomer.

God told Hosea the type of woman to marry, but not exactly who to marry. It was Hosea’s responsibility to go out and find a prostitute. Perhaps God will tell you the type of person to marry. Then it’s up to you to choose the person who meets God’s requirements.

The last couple is Mary and Joseph, who were engaged. But before they had marital relations, Mary became pregnant with Jesus through the Holy Spirit. Joseph planned to send her away privately because he was a righteous man.

While he thought about leaving her, an angel of the Lord came to him. The angel said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit” (Matthew 1:18-25). Joseph obeyed. God told him specifically who to marry so that His plan for salvation could be fulfilled.

I believe that God will definitely speak to us about the type of person we should marry. I also believe that we should pray for our future spouse. We must know what characteristics they should have and make sure they align with God’s purpose for our lives.

Put God first in all things. He will direct our paths. Keep trusting and believing in God. Although there isn’t “the one,” there is someone you will choose to marry. Remain prayerful and hopeful. It’s still in God’s hands.